From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Little Gay Billy's BIG Gay Newsapalooza!
I'm here, I'm queer and I brung ya some beer. Plus some LGBT snackies:
• A new Bloomberg poll shows that 55 percent of Jane and Joe Q. Public are cool with same-sex marriage. It increases to 70 percent among the young'uns. (Link)
Right on!
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• Here are the states in which marriage-equality (or recognition of existing marriages performed out of state) is being pursued through the courts in the wake of the DOMA decision:
New Mexico, Virginia (led by Prop. 8 dream team David Boies and Ted Olson), New Jersey, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Mississippi, Texas, Michigan, Illinois and Ohio. And a 2014 ballot initiative is in signature-gathering mode in
Oregon. Same-sex couples can now get married in 13 states representing 30 percent of the U.S. population. The right-wing haters have lost control of the issue, which makes them sadz and me happeez.
• The five U.S. cities with the "highest concentration of households headed by same-sex couples" are: Fort Lauderdale, Seattle, San Francisco, Minneapolis and…oh lookey!...Portland, Maine. (The Portland Press Herald)
• Olly Olly Oxen Free! Next Friday is "Coming Out Day." This year marks my 21st year out of the closet, and I'm happy to say my toaster oven still works like it came straight out of the box. Er...so to speak. (HRC)
• Transgender Marina (CA) High School student Cassidy Lynn Campbell, who was chosen by her classmates as homecoming queen and then was targeted for harassment by moron bullies, was invited to pose for the NOH8 campaign. (HuffPo)
• Which reminds me: October is anti-bullying month. Don’t forget to go purple for Spirit Day on the 17h or I'll come and politely remind you cuz I ain't no bully. (GLAAD)
• And in today's must-read, a grandfather gets word that his daughter kicked his grandson out of the house when he came out to her, and puts pen to paper:
Dear Christine:
No hearts dotting
the i's in this letter.
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I’m disappointed in you as a daughter. You’re correct that we have a “shame in the family,” but mistaken about what it is.
Kicking Chad out of your home simply because he told you he was gay is the real “abomination” here. A parent disowning her child is what goes “against nature”.
The only intelligent thing I heard you saying in all this was that “you didn’t raise your son to be gay”. Of course you didn’t. He was born this way and didn’t chase it any more than he being left-handed. You however, have made a choice of being hurtful, narrow-minded and backward. So, while we are in the business of disowning our children, I think I’ll take this moment to say goodbye to you. I now have a fabulous (as the gays put it) grandson to raise, and I don’t have time for heart-less B-word of a daughter.
If you find your heart, give us a call.
--Dad
If you put your ear to your screen, you can hear it going viral.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, October 3, 2013
Note: Just a quick heads-up that there will be no C&J on Monday, as we'll be making money in our spare time by parking ourselves under Mrs. McGillicutty's rumpus room to "freedom snoop" for the NSA. Back Tuesday with some amaaaazing dirt. (She's quite the gossip when she cracks open a bottle of rye.)
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15 days!!!
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til America starts defaulting on its debts:
14
Days 'til
Fantasy Fest in Key West:
15
Approximate number of visitors to healthcare.gov during the first day that the Obamacare exchanges were open:
3 million
Increase in Maine's sales tax as of October 1, on our "no new taxes
ever" tea party governor's watch:
5% to 5.5%
Year in which the sale of adult diapers will surpass the sale of infant diapers in Japan:
2020
(Source: Harper's Index)
Percent increase in your risk of death from heart disease if you skip breakfast:
27%
(Source:
Details)
Current cost of a kilo of chocolate, up 45% from 2007:
$12.25
(Source: Time)
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
Come on, Americans: this sucks. Democracy and capitalism are separate systems: one political, one economic. Capitalism is the best system yet invented for the creation of wealth, but it does dog on its own for social justice; it must be mitigated; it needs to be refereed by government intervention (and the refs damn well better not be on the take). Otherwise, we're going to end up like the banana republics in Latin America---rich people shut up behind high walls and the rest of us in slums. This is not rocket science. We've had decades and even centuries of experience with capitalism: we know how to harness it so it works for most of the people most of the time."
---From Who Let the Dogs In?
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Puppy Pic of the Day: You might get something in your eye around 1:35.
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CHEERS to friends in "buy" places. Oh, Wall Street, you're so adorable because you're so predictable. On Day 1 of the government shutdown, stocks soared on the confidence that this is no big deal. But when Day 2 rolled around and rainbows hadn’t yet popped up over the horizon, they were selling off their shit faster than Ron Popeil. Lord only knows how twitchy they'll be today. Meanwhile, big business, realizing they've been sleeping with a lunatic, is running into the arms of the boring but not crazy Democrats:
A U.S. Chamber of Commerce
bigwig tries to figure out the
strategy of the tea party.
Having failed to persuade their traditional Republican allies in Congress to avert a government shutdown, business leaders fear bigger problems ahead, and they're taking sides with a Democratic president whose health care and regulatory agenda they have vigorously opposed. … [T]he partial closing of the government and the looming confrontation over the nation's borrowing limit highlight the remarkable drop in the business community's influence among House Republicans, who increasingly respond more to tea party conservatives than to the Chamber of Commerce.
Just remember, Dems: it's only a dalliance. A fall fling. Means nothing. Now pass the caviar. That shit's tasty.
JEERS to today's boring correction. Yesterday President Obama met with House and Senate leaders from both parties. The original press pool reporter's account read…
Scowl, scowl, seethe, scowl, outburst, counter-outburst, hold breath 'til blue, pull hair, stony silence, simultaneous impatient sighs, rake fingers through hair in frustration, seethe, seethe, scowl. Adjourn.
…should have noted that purple nurples and a wedgie were administered as the parties left the conference room. The error is regretted and the reporter has been given a swirlie.
CHEERS to 24 hours of vittles, gratitude and football. This country is SO…EFFING…STINGY…with holidays and free time in general. It's like relaxing equals mooching or something, and it's ridiculous. But at least Honest Abe Lincoln gave us a little respite when he was president. On October 3, 1863, he gave a speech in which he proclaimed the last Thursday in November as "Thanksgiving Day." Then the tryptophan kicked in and he fell asleep.
CHEERS to the munchie mobile. File this under "ad campaigns I never thought I'd see." Portland, Maine is having a city referendum vote in November to get approval for the recreational possession (up to 2.5 ounces) and use of marijuana. To get their message out, the pro-pot side just bought a bunch of ads that will be wrapped around our city buses. The messages say…
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"I prefer marijuana over alcohol because it's less harmful to my body"
"I prefer marijuana over alcohol because it's less toxic, so there's no hangover"
"I prefer marijuana over alcohol because it doesn't make me rowdy or reckless"
…and all end with "Why should I be punished for making the safer choice?"
You can
see 'em here. And to make the point that operating a vehicle while stoned is safer than operating one while drunk, Metro drivers will go 15 miles an hour while hugging the shoulder. Or as it's also called: driving exactly the same way they do now.
JEERS to stupid human tricks. The other day some lady parked her SUV by our house, leaving a small dog inside with the back-seat windows rolled halfway down. After she walked away to points unknown, the dog wriggled out of the SUV, dropped to the sidewalk and ran away. My neighbor, who saw it happen, and I both searched the neighborhood for the dog to no avail. The woman returned to a dogless vehicle and my neighbor explained what happened to her. The woman rolled her eyes and, unfazed by the news, said:
"Every time he does this we say, 'Well, we hope you had a good life.'"
Nice, huh? We were tempted to suggest that she leave her windows up a bit higher next time (someone called the number on the dog's tag while we were talking with her and said come get your damn dog, so we assume there was an eventual and totally blasé good-dog/bad-owner reunion). Or, better yet, leave the dog at home instead of in a car on a sunny, warm day. But then we guessed that any new nugget of information that entered her head would probably kick something else out like, say, how to breathe or drive a vehicle. She zipped off to pick up her furry fugitive. If there's any justice, she woke up to find a stinky thank-you present in her slippers this morning.
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Five years ago in C&J: October 3, 2008---a CLASSIC:
JEERS to the scary riddle of the day. What's the difference between Sarah Palin and George W. Bush? Apparently, Lipstick:
"You can't name ONE
frickin' newspaper???"
Katie Couric: And when it comes to establishing your world view, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this---to stay informed and to understand the world?
Sarah Palin: I’ve read most of them again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media...
Couric: But what ones specifically? I’m curious.
Palin: Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me over all these years...
Couric: Can you name any of them?
Palin: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news.
The freaky part? Subscriptions to I Have A Vast Variety Of Sources Where We Get Our News Digest have tripled.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to walkin' the walk: family values edition. Don’t forget to call President and Mrs. Obama on their direct line today (555-1212) and wish 'em a happy 21st wedding anniversary. Australian columnist Alecia Simmonds at the Daily Life site offers a thoughtful musing on what makes their marriage the envy of the world:
Election night 2012
Best tweet ever?
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I think it’s largely because we can identify with them, perhaps not with Michelle’s perfectly sculpted arms, but with the fact that they look like a typical modern couple trying to balance their professional lives with having a family and kids. Before becoming President both had high powered jobs, Michelle was an executive of a hospital in Chicago and Barack was a Constitutional Law Professor then State Senator. They speak openly about how difficult it has been juggling their professions with raising a family. …
Most first ladies are sequestered away to the east wing to a life of invisibility, idleness and charity functions, but Michelle and Barack have always presented as a team. And the images we have to back this up are boundless: from the photograph Barack sent out upon winning the elections - not a solitary snap but of he and Michelle embracing---to the adorable fist bumps.
I looked it up on the intertubes, and the traditional 21st-anniversary gifts are
brass and nickel. As I understand it, he gave her a brass sculpture and she gave him a jar of nickels to toss at Republican congressmen when he's telling 'em to buy a clue.
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"All this casual cruelty of Harry Reid. He's going to subordinate literally compassion and decency for partisanship? He won't allow the vets to do go to Cheers and Jeers? I mean, that's pretty sick. What a twisted, old---I'm sorry."
---Sean Hannity
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