I've said it before, but this little guy (the Socially Awkward Penguin meme, for those unfamiliar) symbolizes my entire life:
About 9 times out of 10, I see a Socially Awkward Penguin meme on Reddit and think, "Yep...yep, that's happened to me before." Such as...
It goes on and on. I may come across as rather well-spoken online, but I'm one of the most awkward human beings on the planet. In this way, I might seem like an odd match with my boyfriend, who is a social butterfly. A social butterfly I am not. I've at least somewhat overcome my crippling social anxiety disorder, but much of the awkwardness remains. I've learned to adapt and own my awkwardness, but still. Awkwardness everywhere.
Which is why I appreciated this list over at BuzzFeed of "19 everyday situations that are impossibly difficult for the socially awkward" that I found circulating around Facebook. In fact, I think it is brillig that I can thank for posting it. brillig, I would have "liked" it, but I found it when I was scrolling way, way, way down in my newsfeed, so it was already hours old. The Socially Awkward Penguin in me decided that it would be awkward to like it at that point. See? Awkwardness everywhere.
I couldn't identify with all of the situations listed by BuzzFeed, but I could with a number of them. Plus, there are several that BuzzFeed missed. Socially awkward people, follow me below the fold...but try not to be awkward and step on my heels.
But First, A Word From Our Sponsor:
Top Comments recognizes the previous day's Top Mojo and strives to promote each day's outstanding comments through nominations made by Kossacks like you. Please send comments (before 9:30pm ET) by email to topcomments@gmail.com or by our KosMail message board. Just click on the Spinning Top™ to make a submission. Look for the Spinning Top™ to pop up in diaries posts around Daily Kos.
Make sure that you include the direct link to the comment (the URL), which is available by clicking on that comment's date/time. Please let us know your Daily Kos user name if you use email so we can credit you properly. If you send a writeup with the link, we can include that as well. The diarist poster reserves the right to edit all content.
Please come in. You're invited to make yourself at home! Join us beneath the doodle...
|
You can go through the BuzzFeed list of insanely awkward situations for the socially awkward on your own, but here are the ones that I could especially identify with:
3. Making small talk with hairstylists.
Yes. This. A thousand times yes. I don't do small talk with people I don't know. I just don't. Can't. Won't. Not ever. A wave of anxiety washes over me when I hear the words, "So do you have any plans for the weekend?" or "So what do you do?" or "What are you studying?" I don't want to talk about any of those things with you. Your job is to cut my hair, so just cut my damn hair. The same goes for cab drivers. Or servers. Or freaking anybody. STOP TALKING TO ME! Ahem...
11. Trying to decide what to do when you’re walking into someone else’s path.
This happens to me All. The. Time. And then the dance--which I've dubbed the Awkward Tango--ensues. What's really awkward is when the person gets pissed off in the process, as if it's
my fault I'm so awkward!
12. When someone actually calls you instead of texting.
There are very few exceptions to this rule. When my boyfriend or a very, very,
very close friend calls, it's fine. But when I get a call from anybody else, this is my typical reaction:
14. Making eye contact with anyone, ever.
'Nuff said. If you're wondering what I'm looking at, nothing. I'm just
not looking at you.
16. Realizing you’re walking near someone you know.
This might be the worst. A
normal person might just say, "Oh, hey, I didn't see you!" Not me. If I find myself in this kind of a pickle, I'll more often pull out my phone and act like I'm occupied and then turn a corner and take the long way to wherever I'm going. It's better than making that awkward small talk.
These are all good, but BuzzFeed left out some important situations that socially awkward people like to avoid. So here are my additions:
Skyping. Ever. With anybody.
Okay, that's not completely true. There are a few people I don't mind Skyping with. When I Skype with my boyfriend, for example, we behave as if we're in the room together. In other words, we do other things and say something when we have something to say. But Skyping with most people fills me with anxiety like almost nothing else. Case in point: I was hanging out in the TA office, and another TA pulled up Skype, where she was talking to a former grad student who we both knew who had gone to Africa. I said "hi" and excused myself to go to the restroom. I didn't come back. Whoops.
Seeing somebody you know walking toward you in the distance and making eye contact with them.
I can't pull my turn-a-corner trick in this situation. There
will be small talk. It
will be awkward. But what's even worse is deciding what to do in the meantime. Do you maintain eye contact? Do you pick up the pace? Do you wave? My answer is pulling out my phone and looking at it until we get close enough to talk to each other.
Ordering drinks at a bar.
I don't know why I find this awkward. I just do.
When you're out with a friend and their friend, and your friend leaves to go to the restroom.
This seems to happen to me all the time. I'll go out with a friend and their friend (who is perhaps an acquaintance to me but not much more), which is fine...until my friend gets up from the table and goes to the restroom. Then it's Awkward City. My boyfriend also does this to me quite a bit. We'll go out with his friends, and then I'll be left with them for several very painful minutes.
Here's one especially for socially awkward TAs or teachers:
Those silent five minutes before class starts.
Again, I don't really do small talk. So there I am with a room full of students with nothing to say. I usually cope by acknowledging the awkwardness and making them laugh. "Well
this is quite the awkward silence, isn't it? Only four minutes of this to go!" usually does the trick and might even start a conversation.
Here are a few more that probably almost everybody--but especially the chronically socially awkward--deals with.
For the socially awkward, life can be a challenge, but it can also be kind of hilarious if you learn to laugh at yourself. And I do. Often.
What are some of your "favorite" socially awkward situations?
TOP COMMENTS
October 4, 2013
Thanks to tonight's Top Comments contributors! Let us hear from YOU
when you find that proficient comment.
From PrescottPatriot:
I'd like to nominate this comment by cactusgal from weatherdude's National Weather Service Places Hidden "PLEASE PAY US" Message in Forecast.
From your socially awkward diarist:
In kos' diary announcing Wendy Davis' official decision to run for Governor of Texas, alwaysquestion delivers a great response to a comment arguing that the governorship in Texas amounts to little more than a "figurehead" position.
|
TOP PHOTOS
October 3, 2013
Enjoy jotter's wonderful PictureQuilt™ below. Just click on the picture and it will magically take you to the comment that features that photo. Have fun, Kossacks!
|