My son's grave marker is beautiful - flat and bronze - flush with the ground like all the markers in the cemetery where he is buried. If you turn a knob and pull, a matching bronze vase pulls out from the marker. Turn it over and it fits back into the marker to hold flowers. When the grounds keeper needs to mow, he simply throws the flowers away and returns the vase. It was attached by a small chain.
When I looked down and realized someone had stolen my son's vase, along with the vase from my late father's grave nearby, I swear I went through the stages of grief all over again. I stood with my jaw dropped for the longest time. Then I cried. Then I got pissed. Then I started freaking out. How soon could I get a new one? Who should I call? Should I even get a new one? Is there some way to lock the things?
I know there are a lot of drug addicts running around this country with minds so fried they will do anything. But what came to mind as I stood there looking at the empty hole in my son's marker was, instead, a recent local news story. A woman sent a man out to the store to buy diapers for their baby. After he left he realized - not only did he have no money for diapers, he had no idea what his family would eat that night. So he walked into a nearby bank and pretended to have a gun. The lone teller (go figure that one out) pushed a hidden panic button, but then saw something in this young man. By the time the police arrived the two of them were on the floor, on their knees, holding hands and praying.
I live in a community with a large stock of empty houses thanks to foreclosures. The vandalism is like nothing I've ever seen before. More than just angry families trashing the place before leaving, vandals take the light fixtures, wiring, copper pipes, toilets, sinks, windows, cabinets - everything. There are yard sales in town everywhere. Our houses of worship and community centers are overwhelmed. More people are more desperate than I have known in my 56 years.
My Congressional Representative (US Rep Tom Marino - R-10 in PA) recently told the executive director of our local Meals on Wheels that he supported the meals program but called "elimination of long term federal debt his top priority." When asked if he could help them to end across-the-board federal cuts from the sequestration he responded, "Folks, we do not have the money. The revenue is not there. How are you going to pay for it?"
Isn't that his job?
The Executive Director of Meals on Wheels for northeast Pennsylvania tried to explain to him that these meals keep senior citizens in their homes, which is much cheaper for the government than paying for nursing home care. His response had something to do with people on welfare that don't belong.
Marino was given a stack of paper plates with messages from the elderly and disabled who depend on these meals. Some of them read:
"Living alone, I am 90 yrs old and handicap. Meals on Wheels is a must."
"I'm 95 years old and unable to cook. Please help people like me."
"Meals on wheels saves me money, show(s) me people still care, and they are very tasty and healthy." (from a 92 year-old)
I did not attend this very sad event. I credit Pocono Record reporter David Pierce for his reporting and these quotes on August 27, 2013.
I don't believe a drug addict vandalized my son's grave. I believe someone, somewhere bought diapers and soup. I wish I could find them and tell them that if my sweet son were still here he would gladly have given them the vase.
Heck, maybe he did.