But of course, the Republican Party's brain — its architect, El Blossom del Turdo — has a plan to fix all this, and wouldn't you know, his plan involves sending money care of El Blossom del Turdo.
2/17/2013:
CHRIS WALLACE: Karl has helped launch the Conservative Victory Project ... that has made the Tea Party and people who are supporting that part of the Republican Party very upset.
KARL ROVE: Our object is to avoid having stupid candidates who can't win general elections.
(wild audience applause)
"Oh, and um... and to make this country a better place for all its citizens. Naw, it's actually the elections thing."
The goal of Mr. Rove's Conservative Victory Project is to identify candidates with bonafide conservative-based credentials whilst not actually being from the conservative base, so that they are actually controllable. Because Rove knows the crazy talk's not supposed to be said (whispers) out loud.
10/14/2013:
BILL O'REILLY: The Republican Party seems to have hurt itself. That's what the polls say. And you say?
KARL ROVE: I think that's accurate. Look, we Republicans and conservatives angry over the victory of President Obama wanted somebody to stand up and fight. ... The defund strategy was never going to work.
Thank you, Commander Hindsight!
"Listen, Bill, I told 'em it wasn't gonna work, and then I also called a guy, and I said, a Lone Ranger movie in 2013? No, I would never. And then I said to Steve Jobs, no one wants to take pictures with their phones. I mean, uh, cancel that. What I said to Steve Jobs was, sure wish I could fit all my songs in my pocket."
But the shutdown. It's too uncompromising. Focused too much on stoking the anger of the Republican base over Obamacare without an exit strategy. It's as though the entire misguided shutdown affair was a culmination of a decade-long strategy to rile up and politically engage the most rigid and ideological pockets of the Republican Party.
Which is why Karl Rove has no right to complain about all these radicals ruining his nice Republican Party, because he's the one who invited them! (audience applause)
I give you, Building Red America by Tommy Edsall. During the 2004 election, ol' Captain Retrospectively Obvious set out the GOP's strategy of "activating conservatives' anger points", rather than reaching out to moderates. Anger points like "free health care for illegal immigrants" and "same sex marriage", leading to scenes like this, a sitting United States Senator from Rove's home state of Texas sharing the stage at a rally with this gentleman.
LARRY KLAYMAN (10/13/2013): We are now "ruled" by a President who bows down to Allah. ... I call upon all of you to wage a second American non-violent revolution, to use civil disobedience, and to demand that this President leave town. To get out. To put the Koran down. To get up off his knees. And to figuratively come up (sic) with his hands out (sic).
There are so many things wrong with that... factually, ideologilogically, grammatically. (wild audience applause)
Meanwhile, doesn't it... it looks like everybody behind him is like, "Shut the fuck up, so we can bid on those storage containers!" (audience laughter and applause)
So now, ol' Turd Blossom here has to create a super PAC to attempt to battle the stupid he himself unleashed. So no simpatico, for a guy who started a fire that now rages out of control. (scene from The Naked Gun)
Perhaps, the single least self-examining Republican crazy-enabler is the increasingly senior Senator from Arizona, who had this to say about his colleagues' uncompromising shutdown strategy.
SEN. JOHN McCAIN, R-AZ (10/16/2013): We are now seeing the end of this agonizing odyssey that this body has been put through. ... It's one of the more shameful chapters that I have seen in the years that I have spent here in the Senate.
WOLF BLITZER (3/8/2013): Senator John McCain calling some of his Republican colleagues, I'm quoting now, "wacko birds".
You don't get to complain!! McCain, you don't get to complain. At all. Because if I remember correctly, no matter how cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs you think your wacko bird colleagues are, they don't come anywhere close to your hatchling.
SEN. JOHN McCAIN, R-AZ (9/4/2008): And I found just the right partner to help me shake up Washington, D.C., Governor Sarah Palin from the great state of Alaska!
You opened Pandora's Box! You were the guy who gave the Mogwai a post-midnight all-you-can-eat buffet! (wild audience applause) You don't get to complain that now the party's overrun with gremlins!
"What's happening?? I don't know what's happening!"
We'll be right back.
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