From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
The Week Ahead
Monday The Hawaii legislature takes up the issue of full marriage rights for gay couples. Among the supporters: civil rights groups and wedding caterers. Among the detractors: mean people, mostly.Oh, and according to the Mayan calendar, the world will not end this week. Please plan your life accordingly.
President Obama attends the installation of FBI Director James Comey, including the ceremonial taking-alive-by-copper of the gangster yelling, "You'll never take me alive, copper!"My wall calendar says it's "Labour Day" in New Zealand. Ha ha! They misspelled labor!Hawaii may join the 14 marriage
equality states in which 33% of
the U.S. population lives.
Tuesday The tea party releases its latest list of "things liberals are trying to shove down our throats." In addition to the usual socialism and Obamacare, the list includes lamps, tires and, for reasons no one can explain, crab cakes.
Angela Merkel drunk-dials the NSA on her cellphone and ends up sending the entire agency on a mad scramble to find agent Amanda Hugginkiss.
Wednesday It's National Candy Corn Day. Candy corn is yummy-yum. Eat candy corn. A public service message from the National Candy Corn Council.
President Obama visits Boston to promote his ideas for immigration reform, the budget, and the Obamacare 800 number (1-800-318-2596). It's all part of his grand strategy to get the fuck out of DC for a few hours.
Thursday Cory Booker's swearing-in as the junior United States Senator from New Jersey is briefly interrupted so he can rescue Louie Gohmert from a tree.
Trick-or-Treaters swarm neighborhoods for Halloween. The usual exception: Elm Street.
Friday Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki visits the White House. It's all part of his grand strategy to get the fuck out of Iraq for a few days.
This is Plan Your Epitaph Day. I borrowed mine from Rick Perry: "Oops."
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, October 28, 2013
Note: The only way to stop a bad vampire with fangs is a good vampire with fangs. But since the good vampire will end up sucking out all the bad vampire's blood and become bad himself, you're pretty much screwed because guns don’t do shit to a vampire. ---Your friends at the NRA
Days 'til Daylight Saving Time ends: 6
Days 'til the Denver International Wine Festival: 9
Years since the NOAA took a species off the threatened species list: 19
Percent chance that they're taking the Steller sea lion, which roams between the Alaska panhandle and California's Channel Islands, off the list: 100%
(Source: USA Today)
Rank of Maine among states in terms of fewest mishaps during medical procedures: #1
(Source: Non-profit hospital safety group Leapfrog)
Number of independent IRS contractors who owe $5.4 million collectively in back taxes: 700
Years I've been blogging at Daily Kos as of yesterday: 10
Boston tied with St. Louis 2 games to 2
Puppy Pic of the Day: Golden retriever puppy cam
CHEERS to the Big Fix. I've asked the NSA to listen in on how the healthcare.gov site fixes are going, and they sent me this partial transcript last night:
that supports your copy.
"One zero zero, one one one zero one sero…"Good. Better than I expected.
"You said sero."
"No I didn't."
"Yes you did."
"I think I'd know if I said something like sero instead of zero."
"Fine. Where were we?"
"Hell if I know. Better go back to the beginning."
"Good idea. One zero sero…"
"You did it again!"
CHEERS to the anti Kool-Aid candidate. Governor Charlie Crist will make it official next week, so until then I'll preface this with: "SPOILER ALERT!" He's running to be Florida's governor again, and his centrist-Democrat (formerly moderate Republican) views and populist streak will prove formidable to the odious Rick Scott. And here's one reason why having him back will be welcome: this was the big breaking news story in Florida five years ago today:
Governor Charlie Crist today signed Executive Order 08-217, extending the hours for early voting during the current General Election. Effective immediately, early voting sites will be open from 7:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m., through Friday, October 31, 2008, and for a total of 12 hours between 7:00 a.m. on Saturday, November 1, and 7:00 p.m. on Sunday, November 2, 2008.Naturally the GOP base was furious and hit the brakes on it in 2012. Putting country before party? How dare he.
“I have spoken with the Secretary of State and members of the Florida Legislature and have concluded that it is always the right thing to do to give voters every opportunity to cast a ballot,” Governor Crist said. “I have a responsibility to the voters of our state to ensure that the maximum number of citizens can participate in the electoral process, and that every person can exercise the right to vote.”
JEERS to horrible holiday abuse. Speaking of Floridians, my early nominees for this week's worst persons in the world hail from there:
“Happy Halloween from Zimmerman and trayvon” [sic] read the caption of a photo posted on a friend’s Facebook page. In the picture, one of the men, Greg Cimeno, 22, is dressed in a t-shirt marked “Neighborhood Watch” and holding a finger gun to the head of William Filene, 25, who was in blackface and a hoodie with a bloodstain on the chest.Figured you could use a little spike in your blood pressure on a Monday morning.
CHEERS to the alma mater of our glorious overlords. On this date in 1636, Harvard University---whose endowment is now worth a mere $30 billion---was founded in Cambridge, Massachusetts "by vote of the Great and General Court of Massachusetts Bay Colony, and was named for its first benefactor, John Harvard of Charlestown." Very good President Franklin Roosevelt went to Harvard. So did very bad President George W. Bush. Very good Senator Al Franken went to Harvard. So did very bad Senator Ted Cruz. Very good = Justice Souter. Very bad = Justice Scalia. Good = Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy. Bad = Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. And etcetera. So, a mixed record. More study is needed.
CHEERS to listening sessions. Perhaps we'll make some headway soon on all this spying business:
Senior German officials will travel to the U.S. "shortly" to talk with the White House and the National Security Agency about spying allegations, including how Chancellor Angela Merkel's cellphone was allegedly monitored by the NSA. Government spokesman Georg Streiter said Friday that the heads of Germany's foreign and domestic intelligence agencies would participate in the talks. He did not give a specific date for the trip, saying it was being arranged on "relatively short notice."To keep the talks comfortable, the intelligence teams will communicate with each other while dressed as lamps and flower pots.
Five years ago in C&J: October 28, 2008
fine yard & garage sales
for twenty-five cents.
McCain sources say Palin has gone off-message several times, and they privately wonder whether the incidents were deliberate. They cited an instance in which she labeled robocalls..."irritating" even as the campaign defended their use. Also, they pointed to her telling reporters she disagreed with the campaign's decision to pull out of Michigan. ...I guess that explains why McCain looks so nervous lately when he hears a helicopter hovering overhead
"She's no longer playing for 2008; she's playing 2012," Democratic pollster Peter Hart said.
And just one more…
cake with a strong liberal bias.
Have a tolerable Monday. Here's the late, great Marcia Wallace to play us out. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:-
Why is Cheers and Jeers so cold? For the same reason, it seems, that a refrigerator can keep milk from spoiling, or an air conditioner can keep you from doing the same. They work by letting gas expand.