Obama is the worst president in our nation’s proud history. He is an embarrassment. I don’t know why, but there is just something about him I don’t like. He’s just not like us, somehow. I can't quite put my finger on what it is, though...
Fuck poor people. Fuck anybody that is counting on taking from me for their social security, their medicare, any social services. Let them support themselves. They are lazy and crafty and they work the system. They have calves like cantaloupes from carrying contraband but they never find real jobs. Immigrants are even worse. Their calves are even bigger, giving them tremendous draying potential, but they never work a minute of their worthless un-American lives. They all vote illegally for Obama, the Kenyan usurper. And ACORN enables it all. They vote the way they live: illegally. These are inherently unlawful people, who come to this once-great country that my ancestors founded on Christian non-blah principles. I feel my individual rights are eroding under Obama. My state has no rights anymore either. What has become of us? Healthcare? Forget about that. Don’t even get me started. Why not just fucking take the wallet out of my pants right now and just throw the money in the air. I believe they call it making it rain. Those poor urban folks would love to get ahold of my wallet. That’s why we have to stop and frisk them every chance we can. In fact, we stop far too many white people, given the proportion of crimes committed. Forget about New York, though, that liberal sewer. Who cares if they stop and frisk or not? They can’t be saved. They’re beyond hope, and they don’t deserve their Sandy money either. Have I mentioned Obama is destroying our country, one freedom at a time, one free market at a time? He presides over the biggest loss of jobs and wealth we have ever had. He raises taxes. He wants all of our guns. First he lets our guard down and we get hit with the worst terrorist attack in our nation’s history, losing those beautiful twin financial towers. Then he lets 4 people die in Benghazi! We need to investigate Benghazi until the truth comes out, because Benghazi is the most critical and deadly strategic blunder and failure of leadership in our nation’s history. We need the 100,000(,000) jobs that the Keystone XL pipeline will provide. We need to apologize to every corporation in the world for Obama, the guy who wants nothing to do with a real economy, the guy who drains wealth like the communist devil himself. What could a Kenyan know about finances and Dow Jones anyway? Just give it all to the chinese, stomp on good hard-working Americans, and concern yourself with changing the name of my favorite football team. Meanwhile the ObamanationCare website is a nightmare for my constituents without healthcare. It is the worst travesty, the most embarrassing episode in our nation’s history. All we need is a little tort reform and more freedom for the states to do what they want. I am going to go now and spit on Congressmen who marched for civil rights,
because they also voted for Obamacare. And for that, they deserve nothing but derision, assault, and even shunning. I am the oppressed now, and their fight is my fight. Their hero, MLK, spoke for me, the nativist, whose family came over on the Mayflower and now sees our once-great country changing. I want it back. Your damn right I will shut this government down as many times as necessary to stop Obama from ruining us.
I know what to say, but I’m not sure how to dress. I could go in blackface, or a klan hood. Perhaps a confederate soldier. I could hang teabags from my hat, or wear a t-shirt about watering the tree of liberty with blood of oppressors and wave a Don’t Tread on Me flag, with a Bushmaster slung over my rugged American shoulder. I could hold up a sign that says: “Get a Brain, Morans.”
But to be fair, the GOP establishment is not wearing the teabag hat or the “water the tree of liberty” t-shirt, or holding the sign that says “morans”. Nope, I will be fair and honest. Perhaps I will wear a dark blue pin-striped suit and a red tie, put a flag pin in the lapel, and just cheer on those who do all of that ugly stuff. Or maybe I can just dress as Dracula.
Vomiting now...into my Vampire mask.