Just a few more thoughts, some about aging, and some not.
Some people, in their mid-life crisis need a shrink, or a bar tender, I just write diaries...it's cheaper.
I am by far the oldest person at my job… which makes me at times, the keeper of great wisdom, at other times, a bumbling old fool. I have to say, I’m actually getting pretty good at playing it either way, depending on the situation.
I wonder why every day I get closer to retirement, it seems farther away.
I also wonder why we spend the first 21 or so years getting to our prime, 12 minutes in it, then the rest of our lives slowly disintegrating. I think it would be more fair if we could go half and half… but then again, I’m past the halfway point, so I’d still be on the down hill slide.
We have a dinosaur living in our backyard, I’ve never seen it but I know it’s there. How do I know this…the evidence is clear… dino-poop. My wife gets in her best Perry Mason demeanor and tells me “ you know we have 2 dogs” which is true, but she is WRONG about this… no dog can poop that BIG !!!
We also have an Evil yard gnome, who sneaks into the house at night and moves things around. His sole purpose in life is to trip me up.
I still wear a wristwatch, not really sure why. My computer tells me what time it is, so does my car, my truck, the stove, the micro-wave, TV, stereo, my smarter than me phone. Hell, even my scale ( used for weighing grains and beer hops ) tells me the time.
Do you realize that Iron Butterfly’s In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida was released 45 years ago, and Cream’s Disraeli Gears 46 years ago. Elvis died 36 years ago, and the Beatles haven’t been the Beatles for 43 years… if that doesn’t make you feel young I don’t know what will.
With all the bad things that kept happening to him, I’ve often wondered why Wile E. Coyote didn’t give up on the Road Runner, and just head over to the nearest Kentucky Fried Chicken.
While driving to work this morning, I noticed the woman in the next lane, face up in the rear view mirror, mascara brush in hand. This got me to wondering, how do women learn to do this ? Using that sharp little brush at 80 mph has got to be a talent. Thinking about it, there has to be a learning curve, so there must to be a bunch of one-eyed women riding on the bus.
It’s always been said that men won’t ask for directions when they are lost. That’s not true of all of us, I’ll ask, after I’ve been lost for 3 or 4 days.
For Halloween, when we were in grade school, we would draw spooky pictures, hang them on the walls, and do everything we could think of to make the class room look scary. The teacher would read scary stories to us. Later on we would parade around to all the other classes, so everyone could see each others costumes , and also collect a lot of candy. I don’t think this really hurt anybody, and I think we all grew up fairly normal.
What I am getting at with this is… we have some friends whose Grandson goes to a grade school that has abolished Halloween. What they have instead is “Fall Harvest Festival”. The reason for this being someone, (God only knows who) in their half-assed politically correct wisdom decided that Halloween glorified the devil.
What amazes me, is that some people spend so much time thinking up this crap, and even more amazing, is that other people actually listen to it.
Speaking of which, I’ve got to go, there’s some more little devils at the door, and they want candy !!!
-RM-