Aspasia of Miletus was the mistress of Pericles of Athens. Socrates said she was mainly responsible for Pericles's Funeral Oration.
"If we look to the laws, ours now afford equal justice to all in their private differences...and they are so wrought that, if a man is able to serve the state, he is allowed to do so, unhindered by the obscurity of his birth or the vagaries of his condition.
“Putting to each the right to private affairs, our government thus promotes freedom, freedom which extends also to our ordinary life, by which each can best enjoy their affairs. There, far from exercising a jealous surveillance over each other, we do not feel called upon to be angry with our neighbor for doing what he likes..."
Aspasia of Miletus was born around 470 B.C. and died sometime before 400 B.C. She lived in ancient Athens during the Age of Pericles. She was his mistress, a hetaerae. As, the French say, a great woman stands behind every great man. One such woman was Aspasia of Miletus, the much loved.mistress of Pericles.
History has forgotten how woman lived in ancient Greece society; little also is known of Aspasia. She was born in Miletus, an Ionian colony located modern Turkey. Likely, she was well educated; perhaps born to a wealthy family. One historian surmises she was born to an Athenian nobleman in exile; however, this seems doubtful based on the antipathy some Athenians felt towards her.
Hetaerae today would be named courtesan, a paid female escort. While consorts, Hetaerae should not be confused with the pornai, who sold sex by the act and worked the street. Hetaerae were a recognized class within ancient Greece society. Law required they wear distinctive dress and pay tax. They were known for beauty, dance, music, for their intellectual talents and skills at entertaining. Like today’s most beautiful woman, hetaerae were often wealthy. They owned their own households, entertained, some likely procured other beautiful woman to serve as companions, perhaps paid, to wealthy men. As a tax payers, they could participate in the symposia, where men discussed and debating topics of the day.
Aspasia was Pericles’s mistress and love. Or, it might rather be said, he was her man. She bore him a son. A few years later, when Pericles was about 50, he divorced his first wife and Aspasia came to live with him. However, they did not marry. Aspasia would have been around 25.
Their house became one of Athen's intellectual centers, attracting the most prominent writers and thinkers. Athenian men and their wives would come specifically to hear Aspasia converse. Among their guests was the famous Socrates, as well as several others whose writings remain extant.
By age 50, Pericles had been Athens elected leader for thirty years. Born wealthy into one of the Athenian patrician families, he entered politics at an early age. His ideas on how to run a democracy still resonate. For a forty year period, Athens repeatedly voted to follow his lead. Normally reserved, he was renowned for his orations, good character and patience. Pericles accomplishments include the modern Parthenon, oratory examples still studied today, modern democratic ideals used by our founders when writing the Constitution, and, so often sadly forgotten, the unwise nature of too many military adventures. Aside from these military debacles--and there were great triumphs too--Athens flourished; Pericles's own ideas and solutions to the problem of human government, books written in his lifetime or shortly thereafter by Plato and others, have guided Western thought to this day.
What sort of man was Pericles? One story relates that a Senator harangued Pericles mercilessly for an entire day. Not satisfied, the Senator followed Pericles home, continuing all the while the verbal assaults. Pericles bore the attacks stoically and invited the Senator into his home. When the Senator finally finished, Pericles thanked him for his thoughts. And called for a servant with a lantern. To guide you home, Pericles said, for it is now too dark to see.
Aspasia was famous for her wit, charm, intelligence, and wisdom rather than her beauty. The philosopher Socrates held Aspasia in high esteem. The historian Xenophon (who also knew Aspasia and was part of their circle of friends) mentions her twice when writing about Socrates, who respected her enough to cite her as a source of authority.
In Memorabilia, Xenophon relates that Socrates quoted Aspasia as saying that the matchmaker should report truthfully on the good characteristics of the man.
In Oeconomicus, Socrates is asked a question about married life but defers to Aspasia. Socrates admits she knows more about household management and the husband-wife economic partnership than Socrates himself.
Plato quotes Socrates saying that Aspasia should be given credit for many of the great orations Pericles delivered to the Senate. Both Plato and Socrates attribute much of Pericles’s famous Funeral Oration, in which equality and democratic values are espoused so well, to Aspasia. In modern times, similar things have occurred: it seems Dick Francis's wife, for example, had a great deal of input into his wonderful books. If you have not heard the Funeral Oration before, you likely have heard its echoes resound in Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address:
"If we look to the laws, they afford equal justice to all in their private differences...and are so wrought that, if a man is able to serve the state, he should be allowed to do so, unhindered by the obscurity of his birth or the vagaries of his condition.
“Putting each the right to private affairs, our government thus promotes freedom which extends also to our ordinary life, by which each can best enjoy our affairs. There, far from exercising a jealous surveillance over each other, we do not feel called upon to be angry with our neighbor for doing what he likes..."
Among Pericles lasting contribution to human thought, dignity and government was his belief in open democracy. He passed laws to open Athenian democracy to the lower classes of Athens; previously, the right to vote had been limited to an aristocracy. Opening the right to participate in government, Pericles reasoned, would bring untapped energy and resources to the city. And so the
demos, the commoners, did. Quite well in fact before many were killed in Athen's continual wars.
Why did Pericles not marry Aspasia? To prevent the open democracy system he proposed from abuse, to protect the rights of the Athenian citizens, Pericles also proposed laws that only those of full Athenian descent could be citizens. These laws, when enacted, made it unlawful for him to marry Aspasia, as she was born of Miletus. The laws deprived their son Pericles the Younger of citizenship. Still, Aspasia was his wife in fact. Contemporaries referred to her in that fashion; others slandered her for supposed immoral conduct. Marriage or no, there can be little doubt Pericles dearly loved her.
Like any leader, Pericles had enemies. These attacked him through his friends. Aspasia was derided as an ungodly harlot. She was not a Real Athenian. She corrupted Pericles with pleasure. His eldest son by his first wife claimed Aspasia dictated his actions in the Senate; others blame her for Athen's military disasters. The main slanders involved common tactics: she was not Athenian; thinking angered the gods. The latter tactic culminated in the trial of the war hero Socrates, who was exiled from Athens and chose instead to suicide.
Pericles’s friends were wont to free ranging philosophical discussions; some were attacked for their religious beliefs. The sculptor Phidias, a non-Athenian, who carved much of the Parthenon, added himself (a bald old man) and Pericles (fighting an Amazon) to the shield on a large statue of Athena. For this sacrilege and alleged pecuniary theft Phidias vehemently denied, Phidias was tried, convicted, and died in prison. Other friends suffered similar fates. One was imprisoned for mocking the gods.
Pericles’s relation to Aspasia also came before the Senate. The accusers alleged Aspasia was corrupting Pericles. They claimed Aspasia was the driving force behind an Athenian relief effort to quell war between Miletus and another Greek city. Like modern day missions, given Athen's enormous military might, it seemed a simple undertaking. And then devolved into a costly mess. Many Athenians were killed. Pericles’s opponents wanted Aspasia exiled or worse.
Whether Pericles’s relation to Aspasia influenced his Miletus decisions is not clear. Pericles spoke. He spoke of all the time, resources and money he had given to Athens, how he had forgone opportunity to take for himself, how the mission had gone awry despite best intentions. Then the calm man of enormous emotional reserve broke down and wept. He begged the Senate not to take from him his Aspasia, the person he most loved. Nor to make him choose between her and his beloved city. The senate relented and the matter resolved to the normal gripes. Some of the comedic takes on Pericles and Aspasia still exist in various plays.
Aspasia was with Pericles for about 15 years, until his death. After he died in 451 B.C., Aspasia remained a force in Athens. She married Lysicles, an Athenian general and another democratic leader of the Athens. Their son Lysicles was elected an Athenian general. He was killed in action in 428 BC. Her son with Pericles, Pericles the Younger, was also elected general. After failing to rescue stranded soldiers following a battle, he and several other generals were executed for dereliction. The contemporary records we have mentioning Aspasia end with Lysicles' death.
By inference from other sources, Aspasia died sometime before Socrates’s execution in 399 B.C. Aspasia left no writings. Still, her fame spread wide. Even Cyrus of Persia honored her. 400 years after her death, Plutarch wrote:
“What great art Aspasia had, that she pleased the foremost men of state and afforded the most famous philosophers means to discuss her in exalted terms and at great length.”