From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Wait…where have I heard that before?
Crazy southern Senator Zell Miller to MSNBC's Chris Matthews in
2004:
“I wish we lived in the days where you could challenge a person to a duel.”
Crazy southern Senator Rand Paul to MSNBC's Rachel Maddow (via George Stephanopoulos)
last Sunday:
“If dueling were legal in Kentucky, if they keep it up, you know, it would be a duel challenge.”
Holy rat turd on a popsicle stick. Rand Paul can't even make a death threat without stealing someone's act.
Time for the traditional media to stop asking him "if" he's a serial plagiarizer and start asking him "why" he's a serial plagiarizer.
Adding: Ron Paul tried to pass off his own words as someone else's, and his son is trying to pass off someone else's words as his own. The yin and yang of terrible role models.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Note: Vote!
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17 days!!!
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til election day:
0!!!!!
Days 'til the
America's Hometown Thanksgiving Celebration in Plymouth, Massachusetts:
17
The last time federal spending on infrastructure, education and research was as low as it is today under President Obama and his out-of-control spending ways:
1947
Number of presidents who have spent proportionately more than out-of-control big-spender Obama since 1947:
11
(Source:
Financial Times via
Think Progress)
Percent of all the spices imported to America that are contaminated with whole insects, insect parts, and/or rodent hairs:
12%
(Source:
The New York Times)
Approximate number of pizza slices Americans will eat by the time you finish reading this sentence:
1,750
(Source: Nielsen research)
Amount you could get today for an old Schwinn Sting-Ray bike with banana seat:
$1,000
(Source: AARP Magazine. Not my copy, my partner Michael's cuz he's the one who's 50, not me, okay? Are we clear on that?)
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Twofer! Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
Obama - Angle of Death -- Panels and ObamaCare; America soon to follow as he morphs into the Grim Reaper!
--Commenter Mary Alice at Powerline
Obamacare is enslavement and death everywhere period.
---Commenter Arlie Ray at Powerline
All together now: 1…2…3…
Classy!
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Elvis lives and he's going on tour…
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After you vote, enjoy a
free game of Pac Man!
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CHEERS to a pleasant day of lever-pulling (and/or screen-tapping and/or oval-filling-inning). Hey, kids, what time is it?
It's ELECTION TIME Yaaay!!! Here are the races C&J will be watching today: New York mayor, Virginia governor and AG, recreational pot referendum in Portland Maine (you can vote vicariously via today's C&J poll), tar-sands oil ban in South Portland, Boston mayor, of course the House primary battle between an off-the-shelf Republican and
an off-his-rocker teabagger in Alabama, and Texas overall to see how the new voter-suppression law mucks things up. Be sure to log on to the Great Orange Satan and strap yourself in for results this evening from Jed, David and company---it's gonna be a bumpy night. Oh, and here's your drinking game: anytime you get the feeling someone in the country has cast a ballot, take a swig. Don’t laugh---that comes direct from God.
CHEERS to Maine's most eligible bachelor. Well knock me down and slap my hiney---Maine Congressman Mike Michaud came out of the closet yesterday, shouting in an op-ed published in several newspapers: "I'm here, I'm queer, vote me in as governor next year!" I thought the best reaction came from openly-gay Congressman and card-carrying Kossack Jared Polis (D-CO):
Polis stopped by Daily Kos yesterday to add a bit to that:
I am happy that my colleague Mike Michaud can now live his life honestly and openly. He will now be an even more effective leader, and I wish him well and look forward to congratulating him in person soon.
He becomes the 7th openly LGBT Congressperson in the current Congress, a record!
Two signs that Michaud's announcement, while done for reasons long-calculated, will be a net positive: 1) The reaction has been
universally positive, and 2) Maine retailers set a one-day sales record for gift-wrapped toaster ovens.
CHEERS to dastardly deeds definitively denied. Happy Guy Fawkes Day! It commemorates the time when some British thug organized a bunch of other thugs to weasel their way into the government and try to blow it up. Or as we call it over here these days: a day ending in "y" in the House of Representatives.
JEERS to that whole rebranding thing. Let's see how old RNC chairman Reince Priebus's grand plan to make his party appeal to more mainstream Americans is going:
• GOP-written voter suppression laws spreading like wildfire? Check!
• Republican obstruction of immigration bill? Check!
• Nix gun laws that have 90+ percent backing by the public? Check!
Soon the GOP will fulfill its
#1 goal of turning into oil.
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• Shut down the government for no valid reason at a cost of $24 billion? Check!
• Continue imposing severe restrictions on women's reproductive health choices: Check!
• Deliberately sabotage Americans' ability to get health insurance through the Affordable Care Act? Check!
• Hack billions from the food stamp program? Check!
• Threaten the security of Social Security? Check!
• And, most recently: refuse to bring a bill prohibiting job discrimination against LGBT Americans to the House floor after passing the Senate: Check!
So far it gets a big "Thumbs Up!" Mostly from Democrats running for Congress next year.
CHEERS to the jewel in the Gem State's crown. On November 5, 1889 Idaho's constitution was ratified by voters with 12,398 votin' fer it and 1,773 votin' agin' it. To this day it remains the only state document that guarantees to each citizen life, liberty, and the pursuit of the perfect Russet potato.
CHEERS and JEERS to moolah matters. I know what you're saying. You're saying, "Hey! Billy starts with a B, and Business starts with a B, so Billy must be an expert at business!" Ummm...no. So here's a quick roundup of business headlines we've collected over the last few days by them's who knows. As usual, there are some green shoots, some brown weeds, and plenty of champagne for Big Bidness:
True fact: this is the Koch
brothers' petty cash box.
> Demand drives up auto sales in the U.S.
> Factory output keeps on growing
> Kellogg's cuts jobs as breakfast cereal sales crumble
> Price of crude oil reaches lowest level in 4 months
> No October jinx for stock market
> Fed keeps economic stimulus in place
> Government shutdown slowed weak job market
> Consumer prices rose only slightly last month
> GM's solid quarter sparks talk of dividend payment
Also: the predicted wine shortage was a myth, so
there's enough to go around. I call dibs on the cabernet, you can have the fu**ing merlot.
For her efforts to buck
the trend, Susan B.
Anthony got her own buck.
CHEERS to having a valid bee in your bonnet. On November 5, 1872, Susan B. Anthony (and several other feisty ladies with equality on their minds) made a beeline for her local polling place and
voted for the first time. It was a shining, glorious moment for…well, for a moment, because Anthony was arrested, tried and fined $100. She said up yours, the judge said, okay fine whatever, and she was free to go. Forty-eight years later, women finally secured the right to vote. The winner in 1920: Harding. Well…this is awkward.
Five years ago in C&J---November 5, 2008: The Day After Obama Wins
CHEERS to The new President-elect of the United States:
Hey, pundits! Whose resume is thin
now?
JEERS to Proposition 8. Even in the face of iron-clad proof that gay marriages won’t do diddly to straight marriages, enough Californians proved last night that they could be persuaded to hit themselves over the head with the dumbstick and make inequality and discrimination constitutional. Think about that: many of the same voters who chose to tear down the ultimate barrier (the presidency) for one minority voted to create a barrier against another. Gee, thanks for the whiplash. If there is any silver lining it is this: civil unions will continue to be approved at the state level across the country, and the federal government now has the muscle to pass some gay-friendly bills (and repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell). Oh, and it's worth reminding ourselves, no matter how bitter we feel this morning: civil rights struggles are always a marathon, not a sprint. [11/5/13 Update: Five years, one trial and three appeals later, Prop. 8 is now sitting in the dustbin of history and California is now a marriage-equality state...with a gold medal for winning a marathon, no less.]
Jeff Merkley (D-OR) did win,
and he's a helluva senator.
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CHEERS to our new senators. Democratic senators-elect Jeanne Shaheen (D-NH), Tom Udall (D-NM), Mark Udall (D-CO), Kay Hagan (D-NC) and Mark Warner (D-VA---the state now has two Democratic senators for the first time since forever). The Gordon Smith/Jeff Merkley race is, I believe, still a toss-up in Oregon, as is (unbelievably) Alaska's race between a popular Anchorage mayor and a convicted felon. And Al Franken may yet pull out a win in Minnesota, which would be cool because it would render Bill O'Reilly permanently mute. At any rate, no more excuses, Harry Reid---for six years the Republicans did far more with a far smaller majority than the one you'll enjoy starting in January. Get busy.
[11/5/13 Update: Merkley, Begich and Franken all won their races. Sadly, Bill O'Reilly was not rendered mute. Maybe when Al wins re-election?]
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And just one more…
Make it a double.
JEERS to pepper le pew. In Irwindale, California, residents complained that the Sriracha hot sauce being produced in the Huy Fong Foods plant there was making a foul stench and
causing headaches and watery eyes. A judge says that, for the next week, the company can keep on keepin' on as it wraps up its production season, and then they'll re-evaluate things. Here in Maine we have something similar that causes headaches and brings us to tears on a regular basis. Unfortunately we're stuck with our governor for the another year. And two months. And three hours. And 42 minutes. Not that we're counting.
Have a nice Tuesday. Off-year or not, get to your polling place and vote. I hear there might be doughnuts. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"I like Cheers and Jeers…in doses."
---President Obama
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