Found this on Motley Fool - guess I shouldn't be surprised by now at the garbage that passes for interest-story journalism these days.
America's energy boom has unlocked abundant sources of inexpensive natural gas. That's just one of the many reasons why homeowners should look to invite more natural gas into their homes this year. So, the next time an appliance dies or the furnace needs to be replaced consider exchanging it for one that's fueled by natural gas.
So here's ten reasons why maybe natural gas isn't the best choice...
1) Gas keeps your home warm. Especially when there's a natural gas explosion. Plus it takes out the entire house - none of this tedious digging through the wreckage for your belongings.
2) Lint trapped in your dryer vent becomes a wonderful way to ignite your freshly dried, clean clothing.
3) Natural gas is abundant and cheap, so that's an excellent reason to burn it all away. We've got plenty to burn! Until we don't. Take advantage of cheap natural gas and convert all your appliances to gas, which will be great when we actually run out of gas, and you have to buy all new electric appliances.
4) If you feel like scalding your skin with incredibly hot water, you're in luck! Natural gas has that covered.
5) It's a fossil fuel, but the cleanest-burning fossil fuel. That's like saying it's a nude bar, but it's a 'classy' nude bar.
6) It's American-made! Help support America's own Chesapeake, which has specialized in fracking and drilling processes that create groundwater contamination and small earthquakes. Even if you never signed a piece of paper, there's still a fracking operation on your corner extracting valuable natural gas from a fault and replacing it with non-potable salt water mixed with surfactants and other nastiness. So if you want to feel patriotic, go and light your tapwater on fire.
7) Great for grilling! Who wants to burn nasty old mesquite or pecan wood when you could cook your food with dinosaur farts?
8) And it's great for cooking too - you'll never burn your hand, because there's obviously a giant blue ring of flame right there. You'd be a fool (a Motley Fool, perhaps?) to stick your hand in there.
9) So invest in natural gas today, because there's nothing like sinking your money into a finite energy source that supports big business. Motley Fool can guide you toward three energy companies that will help you burn your money. Don't bother investing in sustainable sources of power like solar and wind, because we'll just run out of that - and we've got to have wind to power our windbags.
10) Celebrate America's energy BOOM and use natural gas today! This is an explosive new market that you should take advantage of while the deal is hot... if you know what I mean.