I saw this story a couple of days ago and meant to share it here for those who don't keep up with the LGBT blogosphere, but one thing after another kept getting in my way. I'd still like to share it for those who haven't seen yet, because we can always use something positive and heartwarming. And now that Governor Neil Abercrombie has officially signed Hawaii's marriage equality bill, we'll have plenty of good news for the day.
Like University of Texas student Matt Korman, I started the process of coming out when I was a junior in college. I didn't see a negative reaction, and my situation was generally very positive, but I think things have evolved for the better even since I graduated. Korman, a member of UT's swim team, had recently come out to his family and friends, but he was growing tired of hiding this important part of his life from his team. And so he decided to come out, by e-mail. He was afraid of the reaction he'd get from his teammates, some of whom regularly threw around words like "faggot," but it turns out that he had very little to worry about.
OutSports has the story and the full coming-out letter. It was actually submitted to the organization by one of Korman's teammates, who had this to say:
In the past week, one of my teammates came out to us in a beautifully written email. I would love for y'all to contact him and possibly tell his story. He's an incredibly bright young man with a great future in swimming at Texas. We have all been 100% supportive and have tried to provide him with the best environment possible, simply changing nothing.
Here is part of Korman's letter:
Within the past year, I have fallen into a state of depression, which has deeply affected my life. I have had a hard time sleeping at night, eating, and have lost a lot of interest in swimming. For the first time in my career, I was ready to quit swimming at the end of the summer. Not many people have noticed something has been wrong. The ones that did, I just blamed all the stress on my schoolwork, which has been my scapegoat. But, I miss sleeping at night; being happy and being the person I used to be when it didn't really matter. Although this has been something I have known for a while, it hit me particularly hard more recently as I have realized that I'm not getting any younger and would like to start dating and enjoy the simple things of life that I have been missing out on. When I was younger I thought I was only curious or it was just a phase for me, but have come to terms that I'm actually gay. (There, I finally said it)
For a long time I tried to be someone that I am not. By opening up and talking about it I have learnt that this is normal and its okay to be who I am. I have accepted myself for who I am. There is nothing to be ashamed of. It is not something that I choose. It just is.
Please know that I am telling you this about myself because I love you guys and I really want you to know this important part of me. I was growing tired of all the lying, dishonesty, and pretending. You all have always been there for me and supported me in everything that I do. You are and forever will be my brothers. I simply couldn't continue to hide this from you anymore because it was slowly killing me. I want you to know me for who I am. I pray that this will not change anything, but I know for some of you this is uneasy. I want you all to know that I am here to have an open dialogue. If you have questions or concerns please be honest with me as I am being with you. Do not hesitate to ask me questions if you have any (appropriate ones). I know this email has been a bit heavy and I apologize for that. All I can do is hope you will accept me for who I am and realize that I really haven't changed. I am still the same me.
Hit the link for the story and the rest of the letter (though, that's the meat of it).
As for his teammates' reaction? In his OutSports interview, Korman summed it up:
I've been totally blessed by this whole situation because it's gone so well. I've gotten zero negative feedback. There were a couple guys who always throw around the word faggot and try to make every situation as masculine as possible. We have guys from the middle of nowhere conservative Texas. But they've been like, "We're totally fine, you're still my friend and my teammate and good for you."
The times, they continue to change for the better. Good for Matt.