Approximately 100 conservative activists gathered in front of the White House on Tuesday for a kickoff of what organizers call "the second American revolution."Two people per state? That's not a revolution, that's a Senate. If this shadow government is going to contain a full House as well, they're going to have to start appointing pets and toasters.
The event could easily have been mistaken for a tea party rally, with American and Gadsden flags, a smattering of biker jackets and a few lawn chairs.
Freedom Watch founder Larry Klayman, who emceed the event, told attendees if President Barack Obama does not resign by Nov. 29, conservative activists will meet in Philadelphia to elect a shadow government.
You have probably heard of Larry Klayman before. If not, no worries—but I should clarify that this is the loudmouthed neorevolutionary wingnut that has not been arrested for possession of hallucinogenic mushrooms, not the one who has. Yes, it can get confusing. While the other revolutionary is all about being able to carry guns wherever you want because you never know when the mushrooms will kick in, this one is still on the whole Obama is possibly a Kenyan kick, plus also "Benghazi-gate" and the shutting down of our precious war memorials, etc., and so forth.
Alright, so Mr. Klayman has said that if President Obama does not resign by the sacred date of Black Friday, he and other likeminded crackpots will immediately meet, perhaps on what shall henceforth be known as Honky Saturday, to elect their own shadow government. One that is not from Kenya, and is not a secret Musslim and so forth:
Bishop Dan Johnson of the Heart of Fire Church in Louisville, Ky., prayed with ralliers, asking God to "cause [elected officials] to get on their knees, not to Allah, but to God almighty." In his prayer, Johnson denounced homosexuality, permissive parenting, pornography and welfare.In addition to a bewigged George Washington impersonator and the editor of conspiracy website World Net Daily Joseph Farah because, well, duh, there was also a former congressman on hand to lend the proceedings another few shovelfuls of skin-crawling creepiness.
"We have a scoundrel living in that building," [Former Rep. Bob Barr] said, pointing at the White House, "and need to do something about it."Ew, I thought that fellow had died. I suppose he might have, and his speech could have just been gas escaping—please get on that hypothesis, Mr. Farah, America demands an answer.
So there you go: the revolution is upon us, at least once they decide between Denny's and Olive Garden for the ceremonies. Never have so few given so little to scream so loudly—true patriots, all. Someday each one of them will be commemorated on trading cards, a little paperboard sea of revolutionary flags and trucker hats.
God speed, heroes, and remember to leave the 'shrooms at home.