I began writing this diary early this morning while I was at work. I was just not feeling up to dealing with a systems upgrade, and I knew that eventually I'd post this. I've been a member of this community since 2005, and I rarely write about anything that isn't personal. But this is my sanctuary, and I knew I'd write this.
Today's diary, begun at about 8am CST, had the following opening line:
"Today, my father passed away".
An hour and a half later, it was true.
To begin with, I have been expecting this for a long time. My father had early-onset late stage Alzheimer's, and at 71 had been in rapid decline since late July. Since then, I've been the intermediary between nursing facilities, hospitals, doctors, case managers, and even the police at one point. It's long, sordid story that will never made the best seller list. Suffice it to say that, as many, many Kossacks know, getting mental health care for those in denial is almost impossible, and since the mental health issues resided with my mother, I was mostly legally helpless to help my dad. That doesn't matter now, because a severe case of MRSA claimed him this morning.
Dad was born on April 30, 1942 in West St. Paul, Minnesota and relocated to California at the age of ten with his family. He served in both the United States Air Force and the Air National Guard.
He was employed for many years in sheet metal components manufacturing, and later shifted into a role maintaining electronics components manufacturing equipment until his retirement in 2008.
An avid reader and self-taught musician, my father spent much of his leisure time buried in books and playing the piano and guitar. He was very articulate and well-informed, and took a great deal of interest in science and new technologies, particularly those related to his work. He was also a well-known prankster with a penchant for inventing offbeat limericks and nicknames. Much of his humor originated during his years in the military, and many of the stories and games he shared with his children have been fondly passed down to the next generation. Daddy had a long-term interest in radio and was active in citizen’s band (CB) radio clubs in the late 1970’s and early 1980’s before becoming a licensed amateur radio operator.
My daddy died today. I knew it was coming, and three weeks ago i flew to California to not only say goodbye, but to tell him it was ok to go. His loss is heartbreaking, and I will love him for the rest of my life.
Wed Nov 20, 2013 at 8:52 AM PT: UPDATE: As soon as I wrote this, I went to bed. I apologize for not being here to thank each and every one of you. I'm not normally a drive-by diarist. I love you too, and am very, very thankful for my DKos home. Your thoughts and words really do make a difference.
During the night, each time I'd awaken, I disallowed myself from thinking about my Daddy. But now his loss is center stage again, and I'm just miserable.