UK Olympic diver Tom Daley posted a YouTube video to reveal to the world that he is in a relationship with another man. There had been speculation about the 19 year old's sexuality for some time. I don't condone this speculation but I guess I understand it. Speaking in a recent interview he said "But I can understand why I have a massive gay following – I spend most of my life half naked in trunks on a diving board showing off my bare chest ... I often joke I wear more to bed than I do to work." This was from the same interview that most interpreted him as coming out as ... not gay.
“I think it’s funny when people say I’m gay... I laugh it off,” says Tom, who was voted the world’s sexiest man by iconic gay magazine Attitude last week.
“I’m not. But even if I was, I wouldn’t be ashamed. It wouldn’t bother me in the slightest what people thought.
In the YouTube video he makes reference to this interview and states that he was misquoted. In fact, he did this video partly to make sure in this instance he's quoted directly, on video!
In spring this year my life changed massively when I met someone, and they make me feel so happy, so safe and everything just feels great. That someone is a guy.
For what it's worth, the timeline of his recent relationship and the interview do overlap. We can't know exactly how misquoted he was in the interview. But in the interview he seemed to stipulate that he was not gay and that he hadn't had a serious relationship with a woman yet but would be interested in one. His recent relationship might not change any of that.
Reaction to his recent announcement seems to fall along three lines.
The bad news first. There are still plenty of haters out there. And they don't care that you can read their brutal ugliness on Twitter. Towleroad had a Storify to show this very regrettable aspect of it.
Second, there is the outpouring of support from fans, other athletes, the LGBTQ community, celebrities and anyone else I'm not mentioning.
And then what I think of as the third line. Not a synthesis of the first two but certainly one part support and one part ... further debate? The debate was about Daley's new identity.
Indeed, the news media covering this did not seem to know how to describe the event. Headlines and story ledes ranged from Tom Daley "came out as gay" to "came out as bisexual" to just plain "came out" to simply "reveals relationship with a man."
Looking at just what was and was not said by the diver, the last seems most accurate. Daley did not label himself as anything and added, "Of course I still fancy girls but, I mean, right now I’m dating a guy and I couldn’t be happier. It feels safe and it really does feel right."
The CBC ran a story with the "came out as gay" headline garnering this comment.
Kris Joseph
Your headline is incorrect.
Tom Daley said he's in a relationship with a man, not that he's gay. He says he still fancies women. He may be bisexual.
Let HIM define his sexuality. You don't have the right.
The headline now reads "Tom Daley announces he's dating man" but they couldn't change the permalink above.
Other discussion threads reacting to the story picked up on the identity issue. Since Towleroad led with the bisexual angle, it brought up this old stereotype.
The usual copout: "I'm bisexual."
Rubbish.
POSTED BY: JAMAL49 | DEC 2, 2013 2:44:37 PM
Good for him! Although, let's be honest: while there are certainly bisexual females, there are no true bisexual males. Females have fluid sexuality. Men are either this or that unless they have been molested by men as a child and then it throws their wiring off.
POSTED BY: TRIVOLI | DEC 2, 2013 10:57:37 PM
He's probably totally gay, but I think he wanted to start with 'bisexual' in order to let the fangirls down gently.
POSTED BY: CRAIG | DEC 2, 2013 8:20:18 AM
And this one from a Joe. My. God.
thread:
Pinky • 16 hours ago
Oh please..."I've always been honest"
Then he goes on to say he still fancies girls. Right.
The obvious transition from straight to bi to gay.
What a load of crap
To be fair there were plenty of supportive comments countering this line of thinking.
I seriously don't understand why not being 100% totally gay isn't good enough for some people. That said, I seriously don't understand why not being 100% totally straight isn't good enough for other people.
I'm 100% in support of Tom Daley in this remarkable act of honesty and bravery.