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A have a lot of Christmas spirit. I love decorating, I love stockings, I love poinsettias, I love Christmas lights...hell, I even love Christmas music. But most of all--the Christmas tradition I prize above all others--I love putting up my Christmas tree. It's not much. I don't have a big, fancy tree. It's actually more of a Charlie Brown tree. But it's mine, and it's me, and I love it.

So imagine my frustration when I found out that my cat, Zoe, hates Christmas so much that she think it's her duty to topple and destroy my poor tree. Somebody call Bill O'Reilly and get him on the case...

After a few times of setting my tree back up, I finally decided about a week ago to just take the whole damn thing down. "You won!" I exclaimed through hot tears of rage as I tore down the tree. Okay, it wasn't that dramatic, but I was pretty upset. Here in Houston, we don't exactly get snow, so it just never feels like Christmas like it did in Pennsylvania--I have to make up for it with my Christmas tree and decorations. But it appeared to be a lost cause. Zoe was the Grinch that stole Christmas. Such is the price of being a cat lady, I supposed.

And then a friend gave me an idea. An idea for...a Cat Lady Christmas! I took the idea and ran with it. It's not quite the same as having a regular ol' tree, but it's perfect in its own way...

To create a (mostly) cat-proof Christmas tree, I only needed a few basic things:

- Christmas lights
- Garland
- Decorative beads
- Ornaments
- A large star of some sort for the topper
- Push pins

If you haven't guessed, my goal was to make a "tree" of sorts on my wall out of 17 feet of Christmas lights. I was sure to keep it far enough off the floor so that Zoe couldn't rip it down.

I started by making a small square with the lights to simulate the tree stand. Then, I wove the lights left, right, left, and right again, creating the shape of a tree using the push pins. I did the same with the garland and the beads, then filled the blank spots with ornaments held up by push pins (I used a fake pine cone and acorn, a little bird, and snowflakes). Finally, I topped it with a giant star. I was worried I was going to fail at making a tree and instead create a Jackson Pollock on my wall, but I am actually quite pleased with the results:

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And here it is all lit up:

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I obviously removed the ottoman, because Zoe was already trying to figure out how to rip this sucker down:

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But once I took away the ottoman, Zoe hasn't been able to touch the new "tree." She stood underneath it and meowed for a bit, undoubtedly upset that this new tree isn't as fun as the old one. But that was it. The room now has that much-needed Christmas spirit, and I couldn't be happier with my Cat Lady Christmas!

Kitchen Table Kibitzing is a community series for those who wish to share part of the evening around a virtual kitchen table with kossacks who are caring and supportive of one another. So bring your stories, jokes, photos, funny pics, music, and interesting videos, as well as links—including quotations—to diaries, news stories, and books that you think this community would appreciate.

Readers may notice that most who post diaries and comments in this series already know one another to some degree, but newcomers should not feel excluded. We welcome guests at our kitchen table, and hope to make some new friends as well.

Originally posted to Kitchen Table Kibitzing on Sat Dec 07, 2013 at 05:00 PM PST.

Also republished by PWB Peeps.

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