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So because I didn't get enough abuse last time, here is my review of Rapture Palooza and Bounty Killer.

Some minor spoilers, NSFW previews, rambling and fanboying below the dooblydoo.

Being mentally ill and asthmatic, and living in a house with 9000 cats - I spend a lot of time in my room.  It's safer that way when both parents are unstable tea partiers - as well as a lot easier to breathe in here and control the cat dander and dust.  I'm allergic to every native area plant I've met - and mould and mildew, which are both common as it's a freaking swamp.  On the plus side, we have entirely new ductwork in the house so I can breathe better in here than I did only months ago.  But I digress.

I expected both of these movies based on other reviews to be just butt awful wastes of time, but I'm on an OCD driven movie kick and that's just the way it goes.  There is only so much historical education TV I can watch and the new episode of Tudor Monastery Farm doesn't come out until tonight at 9 on BBC2. (Ruth Goodman, Peter Ginn and Tim someone who is not Alex Langdon)

I watched Bounty Killer first.  It was based on a graphic novel so it's extremely stylized - and just gorgeous.  In this future world the corporations have actually gone to war with each other and everyone lives in the burned out leftovers.  

The government (of the US) is replaced with the council of 9 - and have placed bounties on the corporate goons, who all wear yellow ties.  Bounty Killers are professional hit men and women who are loved like rock or movie stars. Magazine covers, posters, 8x10s, autographs, cheering crowds - people love them.  And they love the people.  

Drifter is the tough guy on a chopper.  Older, explosive and quick, he's one of the best if not The Best bounty killer out there. Drifter and Mary Death clearly have A Past. He's not so keen with the paparazzi aspects of the work, but Mary Death always stops to talk to the press or sign an autograph for a fan.

Mary Death is gorgeous in her stylish mini dress, stockings and gogo boots with spurs, her souped up Mustang and perfect hair.  She's got style and kills with style too.  She's also really good at racking up the body count with yellowties.  

Bounties are dropped off at Daft Willy's Chop Shop and Bounty Supply in San Dalloosa.  Outside Daft Willy's we meet Jack LeMans, who begs to show his stuff as Drifter's "gun caddy" - and Drifter takes him on.  With our key players in place, we head off into adventure.

There is lots of cheesy blood and violence in this movie. LOTS.  And it's completely awesome and over the top.  Snappy dialogue everywhere, some really great lines - and fantastic fights and rides.

"I'm so fat!  Oh, they're going to love me, I'm so marbled!" Jack moans when they are captured by "gypsies" who are assumed to be cannibals.

The stagecoach scene is a thing of beauty.  The "gypsies" are not Roma, but they are travelers, and wear beautiful Dia de Muertos style facial paint decorations.

There are some fantastic support roles by Gary Busey, Beverly D'Angelo and Abraham Benrubi that aren't to be missed and the fight finale at the Second Sun corporate headquarters is delicious.

I really expected this to be one of those so awful it's good things like the classic Death Race 2000 - something that would be ideal for MST3King - and discovered it was much more fun than that.  It never takes itself too seriously, it's got some nice running gags - and a real solid sense of colour and style.  Better than Tank Girl, which I also loved.

NSFW early fight sequence

Rapture-Palooza is a little more low key, but still fun.

So... the Rapture.  It happened.  And this is what happens after.

Our young heros, Lindsay and Ben are a nice teen couple who aren't believers.  Their mums were, although Lindsay's mum has a bit of an issue with someone who cut in Heavenly line in front of her and is sent back.  Their neighbour is a zombie - apparently the only one - and has an obsession not with brains, but with mowing the lawn.

There are plagues - locusts of suffering, rains of blood, wraith potheads, talking crows and random brimstones - it's just not the old world we knew.  A candidate for mayor turns out to be the AntiChrist and settles not in the middle east as expected, but in Seattle.

Ben's dad works for "The Beast" as the former mayoral candidate prefers to be called.  Lindsay's mum is having a nervous breakdown since she was sent back from Heaven and her brother is apparently the biggest Wraith pot connection in Seattle in addition to being a little dick.  Her dad - he tries to be supportive and keep the family going.  They just want to open a sandwich cart and make the world a little brighter - and things keep getting in the way.

When "The Beast" takes an interest in Lindsay and wants her to be his evil queen - that's when it all starts to go truly wrong, and it's up to them to save the world.  With a plan, a riding mower and a fat bag of weed - they take on The Beast to save Lindsay's virginity.

Sounds completely shit, right?  It is.  But is a Pacific Northwest kind of entertaining way.  The leads are completely likable dorks who love one another and just want to make the world a better place.  The Beast is ridiculous, but fun - the only way it could have been better cast was if Bernie Mac was still alive.

There are a few places where it could have been a little stronger, a little tighter and/or a little funnier, but it was still a fun film, and the final plan of action was fun.

But the crows.  This may be part of why I like the film so much actually.  Those of you that regularly read my diaries know that I struggle with schizophrenia, and one of my persistent delusions is that birds talk to me.  What happens in this movie - this is actually what I hear crows saying.  All the time.  That is what crows sound like to me.

SO NSFW.  But here, have a taste.

Originally posted to Mortifyd on Tue Dec 10, 2013 at 03:31 AM PST.

Also republished by Community Spotlight.

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