Christmas is almost here! Don't worry about those January bills if you have insurance and a flammable tree.
BOSSES: Have lots of fun with the next round of dismissals by making fired employees wear Santa hats as security escorts them out.
Notice this world, its changes. Be at one with the movement of time. Also hug your knees when you poop, it's way healthier.
Affirmation: "I am strong. I am invincible. I am not a turnip, no matter what the chipmunks chant."
The best part of Dirty Dancing is at the end when Patrick Swayze gives up dancing and starts ripping out throats as a bouncer in Road House.
Dear Weather Channel: Is it true that you're going to name every single snowflake that falls this winter?
Ladies and gents I want to sell you shirts with the stuff I have written written on them. I have no idea about design or what stuff you want written on the shirts. Please give me ideas for designs and tell me what your favorites are.