My dad is a lawyer with a long history of working with hard-luck cases.
He came from an impoverished working class family and knows well the hardships faced by underprivileged Americans. Here's a system he came up with that has honest-to-god helped numerous children in awful, bullying situations. Has helped them get some power and some ACTION.
Years ago my father spent time trying to help a kid who was bullied. A kid close to his heart, and my father was shocked to find that after years and years and years of this kid living in isolation and abuse in school the whole system feigned ignorance of his situation. That's when my father decided "No More".
There's just NO WAY the principle, the bus driver, the lunch providers, the teachers, the janitors, the WHOLE SYSTEM was unaware this child was bullied and marginalized for years. Impossible. But they claimed it to maintain a distance even under banners of anti-bullying rhetoric and policies. Total bullshit. They knew.
When some kid commits suicide everybody in the system acts like this is a shock and a surprise. Bullshit. Absolute BULLSHIT.
So the next time my father came upon a similar situation he presented the parents and the child with a sheet of paper they could use. A piece of paper that gave power to the powerless.
It's not uncommon for a desperate, bullied child to seek the help of an adult in the system. But it's VERY common that the desperate child is turned away and told their plight isn't a big deal.
So when a child approaches an adult in the school system to tell them they're being bullied, they ask the adult to sing a piece of paper to say that at least the problem was reported and noted.
WHEN, as is too often the case, the teacher or vice principle declines to sign this piece of paper, the child then writes "Declined to sign" and includes the date, the time, and the teacher.
While this seems like an unlikely scenario, my father has witnessed numerous scenarios where his system works and gives power to the powerless. Such a document gives the parents something to act on if they are inclined. It gives the children something to act on if they have the bravery. And it offers authorities a record of events.
The fact is............adults are TERRIFIED of records. And they're terrified of people who keep records. And they're TERRIFIED that a paper trail could lead to them in the event something awful befalls a bullied child. When an adult is aware that records are being kept..................they ACT.
Everybody knows who the bullied and marginalized children are, year after year after year. And these kids often DO reach out and they DO look for help and they are turned away and then later people act like they didn't KNOW these kids were bullied.
No more. It doesn't have to happen. Keep records. Write names, times, dates of adults who were approached. Because only when there's a paper trail leading to YOU in what you might imagine could be a child's suicide....will YOU reliably act.
Doubt it?
My father helped a child who had been bullied for years and years and years. Within a few weeks of keeping records, the primary bully was expelled from school.
Keep records. Ask the kids to keep records. Follow up.