Your Monday Nooner
by Barry Friedman
Is it Noonan or is it Not?
"It is not just the common failing that fills us with woe, but it is the uncommon failing that fails us and fills us with woe and failure and angst and pain and suffering and a sense of redundancy and recurrence. It is like--this is so tough to say--merging before entering a bridge, a big bridge to a big town. America, toughen up! It's not like you've never been stuck in traffic on the GWB. Before Christie there were road cones. After Christie, there will be road cones--orange ones, some bent, flying in the wind, leaving the surly bonds of asphalt, lone sneakers upon them. Christie is a big lovable man with an energetic, fun-loving staff. Cut him some slack. It's not like forcing people to doctors they don't like, like the man in the White House, the thin man with the dour, intellectual staff. I, for one, like my staff jovial and full of bombast. We, Americans, were never afraid of merging. We knew the difference between gin and vodka, porpoises and dolphins. Ronald Reagan taught us that. He merged, he moved, he sashayed, he danced, he waltzed, he stood. Tall. From the great beyond--to me he's still with us, residing in my ever welcomeness, my yearning, welcoming bosom for him--he still teaches, still stands, still cries for walls to be torn down and public employees to be fired when they displease him. It is a lesson this president, this president who still has Benghazi and the IRS and Van Jones haunting him, should learn how to give. I weep that he can't.
I exclaim my grief here!!!"