It's pretty simple: If you can't be kind, begone or at least don't post.
I am carrying enough stress right now and don't need any lectures on how I should handle everything, and how you would handle it all so much more rationally, calmly and nicely. The truth is unless you have already lost a spouse once from a heart problem, you don't know how you would react. I also have other factors to deal with: the death of my oldest cat a week ago, complicated relationships with MiL and his siblings, etc
So if you can't be supportive or kind, spare me the increased stress. Feel free to pat yourself on the back on your superiority (don't sprain anything though) over me. Feel Free to dislike me and as one person said, "mean" because I am concerned about the effect of the area being extremely right-wing Christian and unfriendly to Wiccans and because I just dislike the area. I don't care for the culture, and the culture isn't very accepting of people like my hsuband and me.\
Pretend this is my husband's hospital room. If you wouldn't say to his face, do us both a favor and don't post it here.
It's Saturday. I finally got the temperature up to the 70s in the house. I woke up early but crawled back under the covers just to stay warm--couldn't get it up past 64 last night. Heaters here aren't designed to handle temps in the 20s, and it's another cold night again. It was a four-cat night, with us all sleeping together trying to stay warm. I brought it up a degree at a time and it was 5 pm before it reached 74 degrees.
I didn't o to the hospital today, mostly because MiL didn't ask if I wanted to go. She had muttered something when I spoke to her about paperwork from the surgeon. I tried not to go ballistic but told her that any official paperwork needed to go to me, and she should tell the staff that if they tried to give it to her.I had called her because I tried for 2 1/2 hours and got nothing but busy signal. Finally got through to the main desk and had them transfer me to the charge desk. They went in and found he'd knocked it over. Had to explain to MiL that I was worried there had been an emergency and it had gotten knocked over.
FINALLY talked to him. He's having issues with Percocet; it not only knocks him but it makes him hallucinate. And here I thought I have bad drug reactions. He's still having major breathing issues--partly sinus, partly Goddess knows what. They're giving him breathing treatments. Needless to say he's in a lot of pain.
And I still feel like MiL is shoving me aside, albeit probably unintentionally--but this will have to be discussed between us when he's in better shape and much further along in his recovery.
Since he was supposed to be (in theory) discharged yesterday, and there's still no talk of it--I am scared. He doesn't seem to be making any progress. I have to wonder what's going on. And I can't count on MiL actually telling me anything because she prefers not to waste "her beautiful mind" on negative thoughts--even when they are realistic. I would have gone today if I could have but I've been having IBS crop up again. I MUST go tomorrow. I am half afraid the staff thinks I am a terrible wife and will listen to her, not me. Part of the problem was that Ben put the phone on silent mode between 1 am and 12pm--I FINALLY was able to turn that off (the tech manual is written in Japlish at its finest--that unholy literal translation from Japanese into English which made no sense at all. I experienced Japlish for the 7 years I lived in Japan. The classic example is "Dydo: to the last drop of delicious").
So, yes, I cam quietly, calmly terrified and wish they'd tell me something. I think tonight calls for Valium. I need to sleep.
Thank all of you who've kept me afloat through all this. If I haven't answered a kosmail it's because I am just so bloody tired all the time. I am eating. I force myself. When I am really stressed, I just don't feel hungry. Some people stress eat. I just don't want food. Thank Goddess for things you can microwave, If I had to actually cook...