"What the HELL happened?"
"I dunno, boss, but it looks like our plans to have America invade Iran are dead."
"WHAT? Do you know how many shekels I spent bribing both sides of the aisle? I was promised that these guys were 'good' politicians, as in once bought, they stay bought!"
"It was a couple of things, boss."
"Tell me."
"You won't like it."
"Tell ME!"
"I promise you won't like it."
"TELL ME NOW!"
From the secret microphones of the Church of Ineffable Stupidity:
"Boss, it was four things. One, some of the leadership refused to be bought. We got their names, though, and I PROMISE they will pay in November. Then, we had those bastards actually agreeing with the international community and stopping enrichment. And lastly, that Shvaartze threatened to veto any bill that came to his desk."
"I count three. You said four. Speak."
"Boss, you really, really aren't gonna like this."
"10 . . . 9 . . . 8 . . . "
"Okay, okay, boss, I get it. You want to know."
"7 . . . 6 . . . . "
"Here goes. We overreached. We pissed off our closest supporters. We made jews of all political stripes laugh at our tactics, scratch their heads at our stupidity, and piss on our whole approach. And those were our friends and fellow jews!"
"But, but, but what about all those tea baggers? I thought that they were the dominant party over here. Every time I turn on the American Idiot box, they have another Tea Bagger bragging about protecting us!"
"it looks like we were misinformed."
"But, Sarah Palin is popular, and she wailed at the wall, Jews for Jesus, bomb Iran! Cantor's a jew himself! We had dozens of their Knesset ... "
"Congress, boss."
"Right, Congress. We had dozens of their Kness . . . Congress coming and promising an invasion! What the hell happened?"
"Boss, we overreached."
What about Michael Bennet? Ben Cardin? Kay Hagan?"
"They all dropped out."
"Menendez?"
"Politically, his balls were surgically removed. By his closest supporters."
"I thought WE were his closest political supporters and puppet-masters."
"Not any more, boss. Instead, we are a shadow of our former self. They actually laugh at us on the phone when I demand something."
"How did this happen? Who came up with this insane policy to force war on the US?"
"You did, Boss."
"Eingeshpahrt."
"Yes, boss."