Before going on, take the time to take that last sip of whatever you're drinking, swirl it in your mouth, really enjoy the flavor, the texture, all of it. Then swallow it before jumping over the orange swiggle thingy because this is so funny that you might spit it out all over you're computer screen. This ain't snark or from the Onion. You've been warned, don't blame me.
Thinkprogress reports:
As ExxonMobil’s CEO, it’s Rex Tillerson’s job to promote the hydraulic fracturing enabling the recent oil and gas boom, and fight regulatory oversight. The oil company is the biggest natural gas producer in the U.S., relying on the controversial drilling technology to extract it.
The exception is when Tillerson’s $5 million property value might be harmed. Tillerson has joined a lawsuit that cites fracking’s consequences in order to block the construction of a 160-foot water tower next to his and his wife’s Texas home.
The Wall Street Journal reports the tower would supply water to a nearby fracking site, and the plaintiffs argue the project would cause too much noise and traffic from hauling the water from the tower to the drilling site. The water tower, owned by Cross Timbers Water Supply Corporation, “will sell water to oil and gas explorers for fracing [sic] shale formations leading to traffic with heavy trucks on FM 407, creating a noise nuisance and traffic hazards,” the suit says.
Aww, poor Texas Rex! Apparently his fee fees are going to hurt from hydrofracking. C'mon Rex, this is Texas! Like everything there, ya gotta think big! Think of all the thousands... hundreds... dozens of jobs that will be created right outside your door. You're a job creator. Where's you're pride? And it all be on the up and up. No worries about that water either. It's just a tower that will hold water before it's blended in with all those totally safe chemicals that only Dick Cheney and the Supreme Court need to know about so shut your yap. And those hundreds of earthquakes happening in no fault areas like in Oklahoma, and within your state west of Dallas and in the tiny town of Azle where they're feeling it over 3.0 on the Richter scale? Why should they have all the fun? Now you can have it right at your doorstep! It's not a bug, it's a feature.
I say turn that frown upside down and welcome Cross Timbers as your new neighbors. Be a shining example of how wonderful and safe hydrofracking can be. Put your money where your mouth is.
Or are you full of ***t?