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How do you handle a bully at work?
At my night job I work with mostly a great bunch of folks. We get through the night only by working together and supporting each other. Half the days I work I have to work with a bully though. You'd never think she was a bully if you just met her. That's because she's a stubbed-toe bully. Everyday at work she acts as though her toe was just stubbed. She only does it with co-workers though.
I think I understand her. There is a bit of the stubbed-toe bully hidden inside me and always ready to pop out. I've seen him before and he ain't too pretty. I have to smack him down before he smacks down everyone around me...and myself as well. He's no friend of mine, and he does me no good when he appears. I call him the apology maker...cuz' after he appears I'm left behind to have to apologize for his recklessness...or be left alone. I don't mind being alone when that's the way it has to be, but I sure dislike it when it is because I've alienated folks I don't want to alienate.
I work with the queen of alienators. She practices predatory emotional blackmail that demands payment in depression. Her bottom line view is that everyone is either mean, neglectful or incompetent. You either agree with her or you're one of THEM. Thus the work system sucks and any change to it will be even worse. She's held that line for eight years at the same workplace. She's held her job because she's extremely competent in her own job area, but she's an emotional drain to have to work around.
Nothing, not one detail, is ever pleasant. Everything is awful. If you try to point out that not quite everything is awful, then you're immediately accused of attacking her. The only way to get on her good side is to agree that everything is awful and act (or be) depressed yourself. If you're not depressed, then you're part of the problems attacking her. Even if you may agree that things are bad, but then posit that they can be changed, that also puts you in the enemy camp as she doesn't believe in change. Any change is always for the worse.
You'd think it would be hard to be both an enemy of the status quo and at the same time an enemy of change, but no.
Our typical exchange on any normal day-
Me: "Hello. How are you doing?"
Bully: "$%^&*@( I'm having the worst fucking day I've ever had. No one is helping me."
Me: "What can I do to help?"
Bully: "Nothing."
Our typical exchange on any day with any kind of change-
Me: "Hi. Need any help?"
Bully: "Yeah. I need things to be the %$^&(# way they used to be."
Then the rest of the night is spent walking around muttering insults/complaints under her breath and refusing all offers of help from me or anyone else. Angry because no one is helping, and then petulantly refusing all offers of help because they're not sufficient. It isn't a human being walking around, it is a stubbed toe.
How would you handle having to work with someone who constantly acts as if they just stubbed their toe? would that kind of bullying even affect you?
Latest Updates on Kossack Regional Meet-Up News Can Be Found Below the Orange Group Hug.
Let's Build Communities!
Our team is here to provide support and guidance to new and existing volunteer leaders of each regional and state group, helping them with recruiting, organizing and executing social and action events.
We invite you to join in this effort to build our community. There are many ways to pitch in.
If there isn't a group to join near you, please start one.
Instructions on HOW TO FORM A NEW DAILY KOS GROUP
List of All Existing Meatspace Groups
THINK GLOBALLY, ACT LOCALLY
by Dave in Northridge ♥ for Los Angeles Kossacks
About 20 Kossacks showed up by the time everyone arrived with two new Kossacks (since mid-November) and five people attending their first meet-up. L.A. is making progress!
Here's one photo:
L-R: gmats, Roman Smith, recoveringConservative, Brecht, Shockwave, Chiwere, Moody Loner, susans, Dave in Northridge, Floja Roja, joemarkowitz, 714Day & Gay CA Democrat
Next event will be the LAKossacks rolling out the red carpet for out-of-towner Shanikka on March 15th for lunch! Venue will be announced soon.
Please visit Dave in Northridge's diary for many MORE photos plus food pr0n! Enjoy! You can join Los Angeles Kossacks by sending a Kosmail to Dave in Northridge.
by roberb7 ♥ for Mexican Kossacks
roberb7, who is the organizer of the newly formed Daily Kos Group Mexican Kossacks, provides a well-written recap of the recent Democrats Abroad event in Puerto Vallarta. Tom Hayden, a member of the California State Assembly for 18 years, was the guest speaker.
Please visit roberb7's diary for his excellent photos and a nicely detailed summary of the event. Enjoy! You can join Mexican Kossacks by sending a Kosmail to roberb7.
by GreyHawk ♥ for BOSTON KOSSACKS
While GreyHawk had many Kossacks sign up to attend his lunch and museum event, some had to cancel at the last minute because of a large snow storm rolling in. Four intrepid souls managed to attend: GreyHawk, HawkWife, Knockbally and deltadoc. I've always said that even two Kossacks is a meet-up and a very worthwhile one.
GreyHawk and his attendees pulled together a terrific re-cap diary with each person's written perspective and all the photos each Kossacks took of the snow and food pr0n. It's a fun diary and a great example of one way to document these meatspace events.
There's only one photo of some of the Kossacks who attended. So I'm going to post one of mine I took of GreyHawk and HawkWife when I met them in Providence at NN12.
Left Photo: knockbally and HawkWife - Right Photo: GreyHawk, HawkWife & ember
Please visit GreyHawk's diary for many MORE photos plus food pr0n! Enjoy! You can join BOSTON KOSSACKS by sending a Kosmail to GreyHawk.
by EagleOfFreedom ♥ for Seattle and Puget Sound Kossacks
I'm so impressed with the Seattle Kossacks, right now. EagleOfFreedom offered to take up the reins of collecting local Kossacks for camaraderie and action. In a very short time he started the group, communicated with me, set the event and got almost a dozen folks to join the ranks in person. Kudos!
So, you Seattle Kossacks, you've got a group now and John Crapper has offered to be an admin of the group. How swell is that?
SEATTLE KOSSACKS! Look for each other in the comments and gather together, invite one another and let's see more folk show up at the next event. AND the next action event.
To quote one of the attendees:
Once again Kossacks prove they are for real.
L-R: N in Seattle, Regina in a Sears Kit House, bleeding blue, doingbusinessas
L-R: ?, John Crapper, EagleOfFreedom, mlharges
All photos courtesy of mlharges
Please visit EagleOfFreedom's diary for MORE photos! Enjoy! You can join Seattle and Puget Sound Kossacks by sending a Kosmail to EagleOfFreedom.
SFKossacks Welcome Matching Mole and bwren
with a Birding Event Plus Dinner
by navajo ♥ for SFKossacks
Last Sunday, matching mole, who flew in from the East Coast, and bwren, who flew in from Seattle, were picked up and chaffeured by the founder of Dawn Chorus, lineatus. She drove them to meet with other SFKossacks and Central Valley Kossacks to do some bird watching in the Grizzly Island Wildlife Area on San Francisco Bay. I'll leave the telling of that story up to lineatus in her Sunday morning series.
I'll be covering the dinner we had that evening to welcome our out-of-towners.
Please visit navajo's diary for descriptions of above photos and access to MORE photos! Enjoy! You can join SFKossacks by sending a Kosmail to navajo.
Event Organizers! Please contact wink from Netrootsradio.com by KosMail to schedule airtime with them to live broadcast your Event. Wink & Justice will then promote it on The After Show radio program!
Tuesday, February 25th
Kansas-Missouri Kossacks Attend State Rally at the Capital
Equality Kansas, the ACLU of Kansas, Americans United for Separation of Church and State, and MAINstream Coalition are hosting an Equality Rally
TIME: 1:00-4:30 PM Rally 5:00 PM Kossack Dinner
Kosmail: tmservo433
LOCATION: Kansas State Capitol
300 SW 10th Ave • Topeka
ORGANIZER: Send tmservo433 a kosmail to attend. He needs some fellow Kossacks to perform some easy tasks. Please see his diary link below to see if you can help.
RSVPs:
1. tmservo433
2. RazzBari3
3. Bluebarnstormer
4. Kangaroo
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Maybees: |
Latest diary: Kos-Meetup & Rally at the Kansas Capital, February 25
Saturday, March 15th
Sacramento/Central Valley Kossacks Demonstrate at "Don't Frack California"
TIME: 1:00 PM
LOCATION: California State Capitol
1315 10th St. • Sacramento
RSVPs:
1. Anthony Page aka SecondComing
2.
3.
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Maybees: |
Latest diary: The California Frack Wars: Episode 3 Revenge Of The Greed
Quick re-mention of March 15 statewide "Don't Frack California" demonstrations
Saturday, April 5th
Seattle & Puget Sound Kossacks Meet-up
TIME: Noon - 3:00 PM
LOCATION: Pyramid Alehouse, Brewery & Restaurant
1201 First Avenue South • Seattle
ORGANIZER: Send EagleOfFreedom a kosmail to attend.
RSVPs:
1. EagleOfFreedom
2. Reetz
3.
4.
5.
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Maybees: |
Latest diary: Seattle & Puget Sound Kossacks Arrive
Saturday, May 3rd
DKos Asheville Kossacks Meet-up
TIME: 1:00 PM
LOCATION: The Bywater
796 Riverside Dr. • Asheville
ORGANIZER: Send randallt a kosmail to attend.
RSVPs:
1. randallt
2. davehouck
3. Joieau
4. Gordon20024
5. SteelerGrrl
6. SteelerGuy
7. GulfGal 98
8. Otteray Scribe
9. flwrightman
10. people power granny
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Maybees:
Audri
Mr Audri
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Latest diary: [Waiting for linked diary]
navajo maintains the above event list. Kosmail her if you have any diaries
about your event or if you have changes or additions.
EVERYONE is welcome, tell us what you're working on,
share your show and tell, vent, whatever you want.
This is an open thread. Nothing is off topic.