What do you do when you have a scream inside you that can't come out? What do you do when your world shifts in a way you suddenly get the wake up call - you have no control? What do you do when the one person you have counted on to be there for you, now needs you and you have no one else to turn? What do you do?
You cry. You get angry. You get very fucking angry. You shake your fists at the gods, and life, and fate, and destiny. And at night you curl up in a ball and dream to wish it all away. And you wake up, and it is still reality. You watch the person who has always been your rock, become your child, curling up beside you with his head on your lap, sleeping on the couch because the side effects of the chemo have devastated him.
And you cry,
And you cry,
And you cry,
Alone,
Because now you must be strong.
Because you are now the rock.
And it is hard to be a rock.