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Five years ago this week, millions of über-patriots rose up from the fever swamps to take back their country from the evil tyrant, Barack Hussein Obama.

Upon his inauguration the previous month, Obama began to transform America from a Christian nation into a gay socialist Mecca, and the self-styled "teabaggers" wanted none of it.

Their message was simple—"Keep your government hands off my Medicare!"; and for a while, it seemed to resonate with the public.

Fast forward to the present day.

Despite the baggers' best efforts, openly gay men and women now serve in the military; professional sports locker rooms are under siege; millions of previously uninsured Americans have health care coverage; same-sex marriage is coming to the Alamo; and, Obama is still president—and there's not a damn thing they can do about it.

If history is any guide, it's going to get worse for the Tea Party before it gets better.

Morning lineup:

Meet The Press: Secretary of State John Kerry; Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL); California Gov. Jerry Brown (D);  Roundtable: Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake (D), Kathleen Parker (Washington Post), Chuck Todd (NBC News), Tina Brown(Women in the World) and Jeffrey Goldberg (Bloomberg View).

Face The Nation: Secretary of State John Kerry; Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel; Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY); Roundtable: Michael O'Hanlon (Brookings Institution), Danielle Pletka (American Enterprise Institute) and David Martin (CBS News).

This Week: Secretary of State John Kerry; Former Sen. Russ Feingold (D-WI) and Actor/Director Ben Affleck; Nate Silver (FiveThirtyEight.com); Roundtable: Rep. Adam Kinzinger (R-IL), Van Jones (CNN), Rich Lowry (National Review) and Cokie Roberts (ABC News).

Fox News Sunday: Rep. Mike Rogers (R-MI); Rep. Darrell Issa (R-CA); Sen. Rob Portman (R-OH); Rep. Chris Van Hollen (D-MD); Roundtable: George Will (Washington Post), Elise Viebeck (The Hill), Former Sen. Scott Brown (R-MA) and Former Sen. Evan Bayh (D-IN).

State of the Union: Ukranian Ambassador to the United Nations Yuriy Sergeyev; Former National Security Adviser Tom Donilon; Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC); Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL); Roundtable: Former Deputy White House Press Secretary Bill Burton, Ross Douthat (New York Times) and Amy Walter (Cook Political Report).

Evening lineup:
60 Minutes will present a special hour on crime and punishment, featuring the capture of "Whitey" Bulger; the murder of a neo-Nazi leader; and, the largest archival theft in U.S. history (preview).

On Comedy Central...

Jon Stewart and "Daily Show" correspondent Larry Wilmore corrected the historical record.

The Daily Show

Monday: "Family Guy" Creator Seth MacFarlane

Tuesday: Former Sen. Jim DeMint (R-SC)

Wednesday: Rachel Maddow (MSNBC)

Thursday: Author Paul Taylor

And Stephen Colbert celebrated Black History Month.

The Colbert Report

Monday: Writer Caitlin Flanagan

Tuesday: Author Jaron Lanier

Wednesday: "House of Cards" Writer/Producer Beau Willimon

Thursday: Theaster Gates (Rebuild Foundation)

Elsewhere...

A Virginia state senator implicitly compared fetuses to parasites.

A pregnant woman is just a "host" for a fetus, according to Virginia state Sen. Steve Martin.

The Republican legislator representing Virginia's 11th district made the comment in response to a Valentine's Day card from a reproductive rights group calling on him to protect reproductive health options in the state.

"I don't expect to be in the room or will I do anything to prevent you from obtaining a contraceptive," Martin wrote on Facebook. "However, once a child does exist in your womb, I'm not going to assume a right to kill it just because the child's host (some refer to them as mothers) doesn’t want it."

Martin went on to call reproductive rights advocates "sick people."

Meanwhile...

A Maine state legislator tried to turn back the clock on some remarks he'd made.

Maine State Rep. Lawrence Lockman (R) this week walked back his past remarks comparing legal abortion to the idea of letting men rape women, according to the Morning Sentinel.

In 1995, when he was part of the Pro Life Education Association, Lockman wrote in a letter, "If a woman has [the right to an abortion], why shouldn't a man be free to use his superior strength to force himself on a woman? At least the rapist's pursuit of sexual freedom doesn't [in most cases] result in anyone's death."

He also said in a past press clipping that progressives were exacerbating the AIDS epidemic by telling "the public that the practice of sodomy is a legitimate alternative lifestyle, rather than a perverted and depraved crime against humanity."

And, in another blast from the past...

Bill O'Reilly experienced some feminine problems.

Wednesday night on the O’Reilly Factor, the eponymous host invited two female guests to weigh in on a pressing question. "There has got to be some downside to having a woman president, right?"

O'Reilly queried USA Today columnist Kristen Powers and Republican strategist Kate Obenshaim. When they responded with blank looks, O'Reilly started spitballing: "When you're president of the United States, you have to deal with people like Putin; you have got to deal with the real ornery mullahs in Iran," he said. "Look, the mullahs in Iran, they think women are, like, subspecies."

Bears can smell the menstruation.

- Trix

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