It was in my mailbox when I got home from work tonight. For reasons entirely opaque to me, the GOP has asked me to represent my district on its task force and to complete my questionnaire so that I can help them "take over the Majority and effectively cut Barack Obama's term in half."
I'm not kidding here. This is important stuff. It came in a huge envelope with the questionnaire on heavy card stock, 11" x 14", printed on both sides. It has a red banner all the way across that shouts: "OFFICIAL REPUBLICAN LEADERSHIP DOCUMENT -- DO NOT DESTROY". Even at bulk, political mail rates, that sucker cost some coins to print and mail to me. As noted, I do not know why it was sent to me. I am a lifelong Democrat, union supporter and even paid ACLU dues for a while. My distaste for the GOP is well documented on Daily Kos, though I suppose my identity is not. Maybe they assumed I'm in their camp because I am an old White guy.
Whatever reasons may have prompted the Republican National Committee to make this little investment in trying to obtain my views (more likely their actual interest is my money), I am glad that they did. Having a dreadfully dark sense of humor, I found the thing hilarious and LOL'd at several points. Follow me out into the tall grass for the details of this amusing bit of political theater courtesy of supposedly mainstream Republicans.
The first section seeks demographic information. Other than the fact that I received the questionnaire and solicitation at all, this is where the first oddities occur. On their face, the survey suggests that the RNC doesn't know my party voter registration. I know from working on campaigns that any political operation conducting political mailing is capable of targeting by party registration. So, in addition to the question of why they sent this to me at all are the questions of why are they asking if I am registered to vote and whether I regularly vote in GOP primaries? This is all information that any political mailing operation should already have before investing in the design and postage of the mail piece. I thought the age and employment status questions somewhat odd, as well. Check-boxes limited age identification to five categories, the oldest being 66+. If I were collecting demographic info for any political organization, I would want to get a better age breakdown than that from respondents in my key demographic of support. I thought it odd that the six choices allowed for employment status offered no choice except "not applicable" to people trying to start a business or other entrepreneurs. That seemed like a blind spot in what I perceive to be professed GOP interests.
The actual "survey questionnaire" begins with a section asking "How important is it to . . . have leaders in Washington address . . . ." Nine issues are framed, some in baldly loaded terms:
a) Strengthening border security
b) Reducing federal spending
c) Keeping taxes low
d) Keeping the military well trained, equipped and prepared
e) Repealing and replacing ObamaCare
f) Expanding domestic exploration for oil and gas
g) Stimulating job creation in the private sector
h) Fully investigate the Obama Administration's oversight of the IRS
i) Block expansion of the federal debt ceiling unless equal reductions of federal spending are mode.
The check-boxes for responses are limited to very, somewhat or not important.
The answers to a couple of these questions would be easily misinterpreted by the GOP if I answered this questionnaire. Questions e) and f) and i) are unambiguous enough as would be my checking off the unimportance to me of having leaders address a) through c). But if I expressed my belief in the importance of d) and g), that would not mean that I support giving a blank check to the MIC or the excessive privatization of the federal workforce and military, as I imagine the GOP might suppose.
The second part of the questionnaire gives five check-boxes for expressing belief in how President Obama's policies and leadership have effected the economy. It is refreshingly straight-forward. The remainder of the questionnaire is less straight-forward, mostly having the taste and smell of a push poll. There are 27 questions allowing, for each, only Yes or No as a response:
1. Do you want the individuals responsible fo the IRS's targeting of conservative and Tea Party groups for harassment to be criminally prosecuted?
In my law practice, at this point one objects to the form of question containing facts neither known nor in evidence. Given that it has been incontrovertibly established that
the IRS never did target conservative and Tea Party groups for harassment, criminal prosecutions for such conduct may be a tad premature.
2. Are you comfortable having the same IRS officials who led the unit that targeted conservative groups now in charge of implementing the IRS collection of ObamaCare taxes?
I see what they did there. Take that Tea Party IRS hate and angst and spread a little of it onto ObamaCare. Those clever GOP double dippers. Do they know how to milk a lie or what?
Most of the other 27 questions are similar conservababble salads. I won't quote them all but a few more are worth mentioning:
6. Are you concerned that rising inflation will undercut your savings, devalue your home and increase your cost of living?
Wow. There a lot to unpack from that. First, "rising inflation" is not really part of the American economic or political equation at the moment. That is why most interest rates are at historical lows. And about those savings. Those low interest rates mean that if you don't want to hitch your wagon to the risks of Wall Street, you can only keep your money safely insured by agreeing to accept rates of return that, through the miracle of compound interest, will double your money about as often as Halley's Comet reappears. And, yes, inflation does increase the cost of living, but except in particular out of control segments like healthcare and education/training, there isn't much inflation, so COL has been pretty stable.
There is also, conceptually, some deeply weird stuff:
15. Do you believe Obama's strategy of treating all countries as equals to the United States has strengthened our security and weakened the resolve of our enemies?
"Obama's strategy of treating all countries as equals"? What in the hell are they talking about? I do appreciate that at the UN there are the members of the Security Council, the larger membership of the General Assembly and a few non-member States. But surely that isn't what this ridiculous question is about. I can see that they are trying to evoke an Obama=American Weakness meme, but that stuff about a strategy of international equality baffles me. Maybe I didn't get the memo.
Of course, no GOP outreach could possibly be complete without some hating on the gays. Hence:
21. Do you support President Obama's unprecedented decision to ignore federal law and order his Justice Department to stop enforcing and defending the defense of Marriage act (DOMA)?
For the big finish, just before The Ask:
27. Are you satisfied that the Republican Party is effectively communicating our reasons for opposing President Obama and the Democrats' liberal agenda?
Neither you nor I have time to really deconstruct that gem, so I'm not even going to start. Suffice to say, ROTFLMAO.
Which brings us to the "SUPPORT REPLY FORMS", with another fat, red banner. When I showed this part to Mrs. Left, even she hooted:
First, of three check boxes is for "YES!"
I want the Republican Party to elece the six new Senators needed to takeover the Majority and effectibvely cut Barrack Obama's term inhalf to help underwrite the RNC's national political organizing and campaign support work. I am enclosing a contribution of:
Followed by boxes for $25, $50, $70, $100, $250, $500 and other.
The next box says "No. I do not wish to participate." But continues:
But I am returning my Questionnaire with a personal contribution to help the RNC continue its important work. I am enclosing.
Followed by boxes for $25, $50, $70, $100, $250, $500 and other. Hmmf. No means yes. Who knew?
Final box:
No. I don not wish to participate, but I am returning this document with a sponsoring contribution of $10 to help cover tabulating my survey.
I suppose nobody gets off for free.
What really strikes me is that this political mail came to me from a supposedly mainstream part of the GOP. What it suggests to me is that there no longer exists a mainstream in the GOP. It is looking more and more like every one of them is totally besotted by the conspiracies and fantasies upon which their discredited policies depend.
If only enough people were paying attention.