Expanded from a comment in Christiegate: Reid Schar Knows More Scandal Documents Exist - He Has SEEN them by ericlewiso and inspired by another comment by skillet and seen in Top Comments yesterday
Cast
CC as Mackers
Samson as Lady Mackers
Wildstein as Banquo
Kelley, Baroni, and Stepien as The Weird Sisters
Zimmer as MacDuff
Scene 1 Sept. 2013
(A foggy landscape, three figures hunched over a cauldron)
Kelley Eye of newt and batwing's knee.
Time for some traffic in Fort Lee.
Baroni. By Authority of the port
We clog this bridge, just for sport
Stepien. And with this done, we shall fly
To delete our emails and deny.
All. Any prints of hand or thumb
That something wicked this way comes.
Stepien. Claw of cat and tongue of frog
He comes from Trenton (former bog)
Kelley. The man himself, the Thane of Jersey
All the mayors, at his mercy.
Baroni. To smite his foes, reward his friends.
I wonder how His story ends.
All Thrice around the boiling pot
Thrice again, to not be caught.
Christie. Who are you, you minions three
That serve yourselves and not of me
All. Oh, mighty Gov. We will be brief
We see you in command as chief.
Christie. You hear that, Dave, oh great news
An oval office shall cure my blues
From battles fought and union strife,
The schools which fall to budget knife.
Wildstein. I shall help, yes I’m the guy
I will not sit just idle by
Like traffic on the bridge of fate
I see their plan to tie up….
Christie. WAIT!
Do not tell me, I cannot know
About any sort of traffic flow
For later on, I must deny
And if I know, I’ll have to lie.
So plan the plan and scheme your scheme
I’ll have to say it was a dream
All planned by you and not by me
I’m sure I have your loyalty.
Scene 2 Dec. 2013
(In a room in Castle Trenton)
Christie. Oh Mighty Samson, have you heard,
it’s hard for me to say the word,
There’s talk of me as President,
An amazing thing for a Jersey Gent.
Samson. That’s great Chris, you are my boy
I just can’t share in all this joy.
That tiny Slav from Fort Lee
Is making waves for you and me.
He says you did it, you closed his lanes
After axing all the brand new trains.
And then there’s Foye, that righteous #$@%
Who knows how I have made a buck
They come at me with the long knives out…
Christie. Calm down Gen. no need to shout.
I’ll work the press as I always do.
I’ll mock them with verbal poo-poo
Denials deep, all through my bones
I’ll even say I worked the cones.
Samson. Be bold and dare within your story
You are bound for higher glory.
Those tiny people in your way
We obviously have to pay.
Scene 3 Feb. 2014
(Christie is visited by a ghost from his high school past and The Weird people make three more predictions)
Christie. Friends, you’re gone, you have been fired
I’m truly sorry how this transpired,
Sad for me, but not for you
Just look at what you made me do.
(voices from beyond)
Wildstein (GHOST) How could you Chris, we were so close.
Christie. Dude, we were just acquaintances, at most.
Wildstein(GHOST) We shared the copter on nine-one-one
Christie. Look. . . man. . . Are you done?
All. We have not left you, we know what’s next
Don’t let the future leave you vexed.
We shall share three things we know
Then to a judge we have to go…
Kelley. You shall not fall by the hand of man.
Christie. I sort of kind of like this plan.
Zimmer. I’ll be there, right by your side
When in handcuffs you take a ride.
Christie. This vision leaves me a tad bit scared.
Baroni. Don’t worry, you may yet be spared.
If all your deals were ethic’ly sound
There is no crime which can be found.
Chris, why that face? What is your mood?
Christie. B'cause what you say, means I’m screwed.
Stepien. There’s one more hope for you to seek
The future may not be that bleak
You shall not sway, no shall not fall
Until the Wood of Trenton come to call.
Christie. That’s all, that’s it, I have to quit.
All Visions. What can you see, what caused this fit.
Christie. Have you seen the halls, full of box
Of pad, and paper, and printed docs
A forest of sheets, the courts new treasure
They are subpoenaed, every measure.
I’ll fight those writs, tooth and nail
But that fight will finally fail
And in the end, with all friends gone
with Nothing left to fall upon,
I will see the final straw
That hubris was my fatal flaw.