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Recently, Bill Donohue decided to make parades his new championed cause. You see, he got super annoyed that, upon it being declared that gay people couldn't march in the St. Patrick's Day parade in New York City with any identification that they were gay, Guinness (and other beer companies, but he's chosen to ignore the other ones) pulled their sponsorship of the parade.

It infuriated him so much so that he devised a genius plan: he was going to demand to be allowed to march in the next LGBT pride parade in NYC with the banner "Straight Is Great!" To this idea, the pride parade organizers were all like, "Sure, come on, you're welcome."

So, now that he's been told he can join the pride parade with a "Straight Is Great" banner, what's the problem? He's still infuriated.

See, to participate in a parade, you can't just go plopping down the street any ol' which way. You have to know what's going on. And in order to know what's going on, you have to attend an informational meeting, or "gay training session," as Donohue calls it. And he thinks that's preposterous.

Here, I'll let him speak for himself.

For the past few days I have been engaged in an e-mail conversation with officials from the Heritage of Pride parade, New York’s annual gay event; the dialogue has been cordial. I asked to join the parade under a banner that would read, “Straight is Great.” The purpose of my request was to see just how far they would go without forcing me to abide by their rules. It didn’t take long before they did.

Today, I informed Heritage of Pride officials that I objected to their rule requiring me to attend gay training sessions, or what they call “information” sessions. “I don’t agree with your rule,” I said. They responded by saying that attendance was “mandatory.”

The St. Patrick’s Day parade has mandatory rules, too. It bars groups representing their own cause from marching, which is why pro-life Catholics—not just gays—are barred from participating under their own banner. But only gays complain: they refuse to abide by the rules. Indeed, they went into federal court seeking to force a rule change. They lost. In 1995, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled 9-0 that private parades have a First Amendment right to determine their own rules.

It is hypocritical for gay activists to complain about having to abide by the mandatory rules of the St. Patrick’s Day parade, and then inform me that I cannot march in their parade unless I respect their mandatory rules, rules that I reject.

Good luck to the Heritage of Pride participants. I may be watching it from afar, but I sure won’t be downing a Guinness afterwards.

It's pretty clear to me what happened. Donohue thought that the parade would deny him participation because he thinks LGBT people hate straight people as much as he hates LGBT people. But when they were welcoming, he had to manufacture a reason to refuse to participate since they weren't actually blocking him from participating. He knows plenty well that if you're going to be in a parade, you have to know things like what the actual route is and where the staging area is and what order each entrant will march in and how to handle potential emergencies, and that that information is what the information meeting would cover. But because he didn't get the reaction he wanted, he had to fake a reason to not march because he never had any intention to march in the first place. The man is a giant liar. A deceiver. And here I thought there was some being in Christian belief that presided over lying and deceiving, but I can't quite remember who that being is. Hmm. Anyway.

Personally, I want to hear more about these "gay training sessions," because honestly, I could use a little bit more training in how to be gay.

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Comment Preferences

  •  I look forward to any gay training tips... (24+ / 0-)

    ...that anyone might have, please post in the comments to help a gaybro out.

  •  he's just following Catholic League rules (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Aunt Pat, peacestpete, AJayne

    against using gaydar on spitters coming from the mound without hitting the rosin bag first. Why shouldn't he comply with the rules for participation, it's not like he's getting some sort of gay catechism or cooties even....

    Warning - some snark may be above‽ (-9.50; -7.03)‽ eState4Column5©2013 "I’m not the strapping young Muslim socialist that I used to be" - Barack Obama 04/27/2013 (@eState4Column5).

    by annieli on Sun Mar 23, 2014 at 01:14:52 PM PDT

  •  Bill's getting tedious n/t (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Matt Z, Remediator, Aunt Pat, marykk

    History is a guide, not a destination.

    by NCJan on Sun Mar 23, 2014 at 01:18:57 PM PDT

  •  I don't quite get this... (0+ / 0-)

    ...are we to believe that every person who makes a sign and marches in the NYC pride parade has to attend an "information meeting"?  I haven't marched in one in ages, but my impression at the time is that most folks just noted the time and place on the poster or flyer and showed up.

  •  I sincerely hope the Parade organizers give ... (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    MI Sooner, Aunt Pat, VPofKarma

    ... Billy a big public "waiver" to come and walk without any attending any informational meetings.  No excuses for him, bring it on Big Boy.

  •  I'm popping a Guiness in protest (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Remediator, Aunt Pat, VPofKarma

    Really, it's protest. No other reason. Like a lazy Sunday afternoon full of basketball.

    Every time my iPhone battery gets down to 47%, I think of Mitt Romney.

    by bobinson on Sun Mar 23, 2014 at 01:52:43 PM PDT

  •  "Please proceed, asshat." (9+ / 0-)

    Methinks that Heritage of Pride is about to pummel Mr. Donohue with the truth about what he so inflammatorily called "gay training meetings."

  •  It's like when Jesus asked for a loan from (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Aunt Pat

    the money changers. When they denied it they were breaking their own rules. It's a good thing Bill is a better man than Jesus or the parade would get busted up pretty bad.

    Most of the people taking a hard line against us are firmly convinced that they are the last defenders of civilization... The last stronghold of mother, God, home and apple pie and they're full of shit! David Crosby, Journey Thru the Past.

    by Mike S on Sun Mar 23, 2014 at 02:07:03 PM PDT

  •  'Gay Training' consists of forced viewing (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    annieli, MI Sooner, Aunt Pat, devtob

    Of full seasons of 'Project Runway' and 'RuPaul's Drag Race'. Final exam is having to come up with and wear an outfit with no polyester in it, and that doesn't make you look like a giant fat trailer park redneck. No wonder Bill is afraid.

    "When does the greed stop, we ask the other side? That's the question and that's the issue." - Senator Ted Kennedy

    by Fordmandalay on Sun Mar 23, 2014 at 02:21:02 PM PDT

  •  That is kind of weird. (5+ / 0-)

    Our local parades just let everyone in without any sort of training, gay or straight. I wonder if they'd go better with training. Or actual trains.

    Oh, yeah, and Donohue's a waste of our planet's natural resources.

    •  Participants... (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      allergywoman, devtob, VPofKarma

      ...would need to know where to go for the staging area, what order each group was to march in, what the actual parade route was, what to do in case of some kind of an emergency while marching, etc. I can see the value in having an information meeting where the head of each entry into the parade would have to attend to be sure they had the needed information.

      •  Well, yes. (0+ / 0-)

        Didn't say anything to the contrary. I just said locally I wasn't aware of any information meeting where I live. Which is not where this is.

        •  Every parade I've been in,... (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:

 responsibilities (I was either just playing trumpet, or, in the case of my senior year, was drum major) never came into play until we arrived at the staging area, but our band director would have gotten all the information about everything before hand, though I do think she had to go check in for us when we first arrived.

          •  I've seen it done both ways ... (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:

            I have never headed up a parade entry, but I participate in the local pride parade with my parish. Whoever leads our contingent must attend an organizational meeting. Handouts and e-mail forwards soon follow about the staging area location, safety rules, inclement weather provisions, etc.

            The rest of us just show up to march, but the coordinator has actual responsibilities.

            The local St. Pat's parade, on the other hand, is come-one, come-all and an absolute nightmare. I marched once with some other parishioners. Now I dare not leave the house until I know it is over. It is such a discombobulated mess, I am honestly surprised that the city has not complained.

            Just because you're not a drummer doesn't mean that you don't have to keep time. -- T. Monk

            by susanala on Sun Mar 23, 2014 at 10:17:15 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

  •  I gather from all this (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    that Donohue and his little group have never marched in a parade.

    Or he would know that there are ALWAYS rules for groups that participate.

    Here are a few from the Albany, NY, St. Patrick's Day parade:

    Groups, organizations, bands, schools, etc. are included in the parade by INVITATION ONLY. Marchers are included in the Parade at the invitation of the Parade Committee or one of the eight Sustaining Divisions. NO EXCEPTIONS.

    The Parade Committee has the right to remove any group from the Parade, at any time. All decisions are at the discretion of the Parade Committee, and are final.

    Each marching group must:
    agree to abide by the rules
    must identify a:
    primary contact,
    pre-parade contact, and
    parade day contact (aka “group adjutant”). ...

    Complete the attached application and return it to your sponsoring Sustaining Division BEFORE March 1!

    Only vehicles with parade permits are allowed past the parade barricades
    All motorcycles and operators must be, and remain, 100% legal.
    NO ALCOHOL permitted
    No commercialism/advertising (any vehicles must have signage covered/removed)
    You cannot hand out fliers or cards or candy. NOTHING can be distributed.
    Allow for 2-3 car spaces between your group and the group in front of you (allows the viewers to see your banner, know that you are a separate group of marchers, etc.)
    Try to keep your group neat, use lines, etc.
    Dogs/pets must be legal (registered, leashed).
    Any/all performances must be movable - no stopping in place or holding up the pace of the Parade. ...
    Each group, with prior approval, will be allowed no more than 30 seconds of stop time to perform for the Grandstand viewers.
    Buses will be at assigned locations along Broadway and base of State St. It is the marchers' responsibility to coordinate bus drop-off/pick-up with your Sustaining Division's Marshal or Adjutant.
    Smile, have fun, enjoy the day.  Remember that this is a celebration of St. Patrick, a Patron Saint of Ireland. We, as Irish-Americans or "Irish for the Day people", are obliged to act respectfully and share our motto of "Faith, Family, Heritage".

    This parade committee relies on the sustaining divisions' adjutants to ensure that marchers obey the rules. Groups that don't won't be invited back.

    Donohue won't obey the rules of the gay parade, so he won't get to march, QED. I'm sure he thought parade rules were great when the Supreme Court validated them.

    Now, like the sore loser he is, he's playing the religious discrimination victim card. Which is all he has, and the fund-raising essence of his little group.

    His latest PR sideshow is typical Donohue bluster and relatively harmless, unlike his bigoted theories about the international priest molestation scandal.

    A public option for health insurance is a national priority.

    by devtob on Sun Mar 23, 2014 at 02:52:23 PM PDT

  •  So if you pass gay training, do you get a tote? (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Aunt Pat, vacantlook, susanala

    Because I'm not going if you don't get a tote.

    "How can we know the dancer from the dance?" (Yeats)

    by Remediator on Sun Mar 23, 2014 at 03:01:45 PM PDT

  •  Same ol' (R)-wing apples and oranges. (0+ / 0-)

    Big difference between, "If we let you in, you must present yourselves as we see fit, and no identifying banner!" (read: in the closet), and "Sure you can be in, you can dress however you wish and carry whatever banner you want, but you must get the required parade information in person first."

  •  I've never been to the Heritage of Pride parade. (0+ / 0-)

    In fact, I've never even been to NYC, so I have a quick question. Does the city impose restrictions on the parade in any way - I'm thinking the way Dallas does with their "approved/unapproved kinds of clothing" public decency law/ordinance? If so, that would be important info to get at a parade meeting...

    •  From a Gawker article: (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      They had contacted Heritage of Pride parade organizers to ask about the purpose for the informational meeting.

      This is part of the email they received:

      We hold March information and safety sessions, referred to as group leader trainings, so our participants are fully aware of rules and procedures come event day. These trainings address line-up times, check-in locations, our moment of silence, dispersal activity, NYPD safety policies, attire and vehicle/sound permits. It is imperative group leaders know this information.
      See the full article at Gawker here.
      •  Gay training, indeed. (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:

        Let's see how gay I can make this.

        "line-up times" = scheduling a gangbang
        "check-in locations" = the butt
        "moment of silence" = that inhale right before you orgasm, and resultingly make noise
        "dispersal activity" = the aforementioned orgasm
        "NYPD safety policies" = kinky handcuff stuff
        "attire" = because being interested in clothes at all is gay
        "vehicle/sound permits" = gays only drive certain vehicles, what is it these days Subarus? and sounds, well, obviously gay people only listen to specific gay music, so you've got to make sure you know what music is gay what's not so you can avoid non-gay music that day.

        See, it is a "gay training session."

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