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From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…

"Hey. Love yer sig."

Kossack "signature lines"---you can create your own in your profile page and it appears every time you post a comment---are a way to draw attention to a favorite quote, cause or opinion. Here are some we like from tooling around the orange tubes:

GOP thinking: A 13 year path to citizenship is too easy, and a 5 minute background check is too burdensome. --1audreyrenee (gizmo59)

"The soil under the grass is dreaming of a young forest, and under the pavement the soil is dreaming of grass."--Wendell Berry (Wildthumb)

Sig line graphic
Your sig IS sig? That's cosmic.
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Thank you, pacifists. (happymisanthropy)

Where are all the jobs, Boehner? (Dirtandiron)

Peace, Love, and Canoes!!! (OldJackPine)

Try explaining to your pet slug that you just had escargot for dinner. (glb3)

I wonder what Markos thought when he started this blog? Sure, come for the politics, but stay for the friendship and cat pics! (Pollster)

"I think the Republican Party is not really a party. It doesn’t stand for anything except reelecting itself. It’s a coalition of gangs …" --David Stockman (GrannyOPhilly)

I shave my legs with Occam's razor~ (triv33)

"A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves." Edward R. Murrow (temptxan)

And the winner this round, from apoliticism:
If god doesn't have a sense of humor I'm f*cked
No shit. Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

Cheers and Jeers for Monday, April 14, 2014

Note: Ow!  I just stabbed myself in the cheek with my pipe.  Good thing I have supplemental elitist insurance. Thanks, Onepercentercare!

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Nebraska Book Festival  logo 2014
11 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til tax day: One!!!
Days 'til the Nebraska Book Festival: 11
Rate at which the economy grew between Oct.-Dec. 2013, revised up from 2.4%: 2.6%
Expected growth rate for this year: 3%
(Source: AP)
The last year cattle herds were as low as they are now, thanks to extreme drought conditions: 1951
Expected inflation in beef prices this year: 4%
(Source: L.A. Times)
Days it will take FXX channel to air all 552 episodes of The Simpsons in a marathon starting August 21: 11.5

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NEW!  Your Monday Michigan Moment

Brought to you by the 2014 Netroots Nation Convention in Detroit, July 17-20.  I have to imagine that one of the must-see stops on the list in Detroit is the Motown Museum on West Grand Boulevard:

The Motown Museum in Detroit
Where the Motown
sound all began.
Part storefront church gospel, part jazz joint on a Saturday night, part street corner symphony, the Motown Sound jumped out of Hitsville U.S.A.’s Studio A onto the turntables of teenagers across America. Unlike anything listeners had ever heard, Motown songs married the saintly and the secular, merging the call-and-response patterns of black gospel music with the syncopation and improvisation of the be-bop movement in jazz.

Visitors come from across America and throughout the world to stand in Studio A, where their favorite artists and groups recorded much-loved music, and to view the restored upper flat where Berry Gordy lived with his young family during the company’s earliest days.

The internet tells me that Motown is "a portmanteau of motor and town, [which] is also a nickname for Detroit."  Memo to my brain: mystery solved!

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Puppy Pic of the Day:  Division in Divide

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HA HA HA to the drama King.  Maine Senator Angus King, who has made a cottage industry of letting the world know that his independent status means he shills for no party(!), dropped a hint last week that he might caucus with Republicans if they retake the Senate in November.  I understand that this decision has everything to do with raw power (read: cushy committee assignments that can rain bacon from the skies over Maine) and less to do with actual ideology.  But I would remind him of this little incident from one year ago when he was a newbie and the GOP was driving him nuts:

Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX)
Yeah, Angus. Caucus with
this Republican nutjob.
At one point during the marathon budget deliberations, King asked the Republicans across the committee table: "Let me just stop and ask a question---I'm new here. If we accept some of your amendments into the budget, are you going to support it?"

The query hung in the air for several seconds. Finally, the Republicans said no, there was no way they'd line up behind the budget with or without their amendments. Replied King, "So what the hell are we doing here?"

And King (full disclosure: who used to read C&J when he wasn't senatoring, and may still pop in occasionally…plus he signed a nerf football for me once) might flock to those jerks for a few pieces of silver?  Let me put it this way: if that happens I'll eat my hat.  (More full disclosure: my hat is made out of bacon.)

CHEERS to another edition of "Tell me a happy feel-good bedtime story, Billy."  Okay: Once upon a time, Boston firefighters and helpful bystanders destroyed a new BMW in order to get a hose hooked up to a hydrant the driver had parked in front of.  Then the driver was fined a hundred bucks.  And he was really mad because of the unfairness of it all.  The End.  This has been another edition of "Tell me a happy feel-good bedtime story, Billy."  Sweet dreams, daysleepers.

JEERS to a bunch of cow crap.  So if I'm understanding this Nevada ranch thing correctly, this is what happened over the weekend:

cartoon cow
A cow.
"Git offa my propity, Sheriff. And gimme back mah cows."
"Calm down, Bundy, you know it ain't your propity and you ain't paid your taxes."
"Git off it anyway. And gimme back mah cows. My militia boys here are prepared to a' blast ye."
"Okay then. I will do that. And you have a nice day."
Let that be a lesson: right-wing protesters threaten police with murder, the police back off.  Left-wing protesters don't threaten police with anything, and the police lay into 'em with batons, pepper spray and rubber bullets.  Welcome to America, where our slogan is "Punch the Hippies."

JEERS to wacko thespians.  A hundred and forty nine years ago today, John Wilkes Booth put a derringer ball into Abe Lincoln's head, snuffing out the life of a great (the greatest?) president.  I've read on the prestigious internet that Booth was "the George Clooney of his day."  Which can only mean one thing: the George Clooney of our day must be the John Wilkes Booth of Booth's day!  Relax, everyone---I've already called the proper authorities.  Now tuck in your shirt and pay your respects.

CHEERS to vampire astronomers.  Tonight's a big night for them, thanks to the cosmic phenomenon known as a---[Crack! KerBOOM!!!]---blood moon:

The total lunar eclipse happens between 2 and 5:30am ET, followed by polite applause.  In the distance, a dog will bark.  Don’t know why, exactly.  Just seems like a nice touch.

CHEERS to the master of the mashie.  USA! USA!  Twenty-year-old Jason Staith gave it the ol' college try and 50-year-old Spaniard Miguel Jimenez played like a man half his age, but in the end it was Bubba Watson who won the Masters golf tournament and his second "technicolor dream coat," which admittedly looks more like a plain old moth-eaten green jacket.  Our condolences to co-second-place finishers Staith and Swede Jonas Blixt, who each limp away from Augusta with only $972,000.  Some days it's all you can do to pay the rent.

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Five years ago in C&J: April 14, 2009

JEERS to hot wings (like...really hot).  KFC is suing a vendor that makes cups for their chicken because they can catch fire when you put 'em in the microwave and thus pose a health hazard.  And in other news, the Flaming Cup Corporation is suing KFC because they say the food the company puts into their cups poses a health hazard.  On our dinner table tonight: salads.

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And just one more…

CHEERS to righting wrongs.  Here are "this hour's corrections" from Fox News's error-riddled morning show, Fox & Friends, as imagined by the writers at SNL:

Ukraine was not Frasier's brother on the show "Frasier."
Game of Thrones is not an adult version of musical chairs.
Jackson Browne is only one person.
Malaysia is not the female version of Asia.
You can not abbreviate the Supreme Court to spell SCROTUM.
Hong Kong is a region in China. Not a video game from Nintendo.
SNL skit parodying Fox News's
Pop tarts do not cause "splosions."
Boeing is a company. Not a sound effect.
Chicklets do not grow up to be roosters.
Pharrell is not a "stylish hand sanitizer."
Chris Christie was never in the show "Three's Company."
Infinity pools have a limited amount of water.
Garfunkle is not Garfield's black cousin.
The Chile earthquake is not a bold new product from Dairy Queen.
Joe Biden's office is only sometimes a'-rockin'.
Captain Phillips is not a brand of rum.
Lifesavers aren't medicine.
Nancy Pelosi is a human woman.
God loves figs.
Noah is not "found footage."
Captain America was never a U.S. President.
The periodic table is not about "lady stuff."
I'd post the rest but I hear there's a pixel shortage.

Have a tolerable Monday.  And happy Passover at sundown.  Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?

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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Cheers and Jeers is Up. Users Flock to Twitter to Complain.
---Mashable
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Poll

Do you believe the NSA when it says, contrary to news reports, that it did not exploit the "Heartbleed" bug for surveillance purposes, leaving countless Americans' online information vulnerable to attack?

2%80 votes
3%88 votes
6%182 votes
15%450 votes
72%2121 votes

| 2925 votes | Vote | Results

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