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Yes, I am one of the perhaps millions of Americans who are subjected to the FOX network in a public venue that I happen to frequent.  For me, it’s the local chain fitness center.  The array of TV screens in front of the cardio machines is truly impressive, and I always try to get one in front of the local network for the weather or the cable network that carries “Gas Monkey”.  Unfortunately, I don’t always have a choice and often I end up in front of the FOX monitor.  Because of my schedule (I drop by after work, usually around 5:30 – 6:30) I have lately been favored with “The Five”.  Since five is my favorite number I had a passing interest in what might be going on.  And I should preface further remarks with the fact that we have no TV in our household so any corporate media presentation at all by default takes on a surrealistic tone.

Stay tuned for the surrealism following the loony tune balloon.

This diary is basically a brief monologue on what impressions I carry away from this particular clown show.  First off, I can only remember “four” of the “five”.  There are two women - the skinny blond and the serious brunette.   Yes, I’m a guy, so I watch the girls on the screen.  The blond has very little to say and looks like she could use a good meal.  The brunette is young and serious and totally the most commanding screen presence, but I can’t remember anything she says that was of consequence.  But she gets the most camera time.

The guys…well, seriously.  One fat guy in suspenders.  Sometimes, if my memory serves me, it seems he brandishes a cigar…really?  Is he a tough guy or what?  He may be trying for John Goodman’s character from “In The Electric Mist” but somehow Newman from “Seinfeld” comes to mind.

And the topics…so memorable.  One show last week the subject was about answering work emails at home, and they were all talking about how hard they all worked and what a farce it was that workers wouldn’t want to answer emails in their off-hours.  I call hard work the guy who cleans my office and can’t afford health care, even ACA.  And he has a tumor behind his ear that was removed a few years ago when MaineCare was once upon a time available to low income single males but is coming back and he can’t do anything about it.  Because of our tea party Republican governor who seems to be OK if poor people die because they are, well…poor.

Another topic last week was about taxes on corporate lunches and images of the Google office building filled the screen.  Since there is no “volume” on the sets I get to read (or not) the script from the subtitles.  Something about “double taxation”…who the f**k gets free lunches and why should anybody in their right mind care if a corporation like Google has to pay some tax on the freebies they drop on executive workers?  After working thirty years in industrial corporate America, I am here to tell you that most of the labor force is not getting a free lunch.  My current employer, which is a mega-corporation, won’t even reimburse me for lunches I am forced to pay for when I travel.  When I am at work in the office I pack my lunch, but I guess that doesn’t count for much.

But I digress.  The other guy I can remember wears glasses perched on his nose in the pseudo-intellectual manner of a glorified pawnbroker.  At least that’s the image that comes to mind.  Maybe he is trying to emulate a professor of something or other.  If he isn’t a pawnbroker he must be a bookie from the 50’s.

I watch this circus and alternate between frustration and despair.  The on-screen personas are so scripted that the word "caricature" comes to mind, except for the brunette who seems something like a real person so she will either have to dummy-up soon or be dropped.  Maybe she is there to offset the other clowns.  

As far as the fifth person, guy or gal, I’m sorry but you made no memorable impression.  Maybe next week if I’m forced to watch this program I’ll make a mental note to remember what you look like.  But be forewarned – I definitely won’t remember anything you say.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (9+ / 0-)

    In walked the village idiot and his face was all aglow...he's been up all night listening to Mohammed's Radio (Warren Zevon)

    by Wonton Tom on Sat Apr 19, 2014 at 03:38:08 PM PDT

  •  i quit 24 hr fitness (6+ / 0-)

    because they refused to turn off fox, they had it blaring in the locker

  •  I frequent a local restaurant that sometimes... (4+ / 0-)

    …has "Fox News" airing. I ask them to change it or turn it off, and they always have so far. Their food is great, so I have to keep going back :)

  •  Anytime I'm a customer in a place that has FOX (9+ / 0-)

    On a TV ('news' programs, not shows like the Simpsons) I make a point to speak to the manager and request the channel be changed, otherwise I and my guests will leave the establishment. If they agree we stay, spend our money and leave a good tip (if it's a restaurant/bar). If they respond with the 'well other patrons like it', we say 'fine' and leave. I think it's our duty to make it clear we will not passively accept lies and propaganda, in a place where we're spending our money.

    Rand Rick Ted Huck Scott / Republican power ON! / Five watt light bulb glows - haiku by Bill IPM

    by Fordmandalay on Sat Apr 19, 2014 at 04:23:48 PM PDT

    •  at least at the gym there are other choices (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      terrybuck, third Party please

      so it's hard to rationalize asking that FOX be banned.  It's just that if you watch it for just the presentation, it makes you wonder who exactly the audience could be.  Definitely older folks of both genders I am guessing...anyone under the age of 30 would give the "eye roll" to the characters on screen.

      In walked the village idiot and his face was all aglow...he's been up all night listening to Mohammed's Radio (Warren Zevon)

      by Wonton Tom on Sat Apr 19, 2014 at 04:28:59 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  I'm 54, and I'd guess anyone under 70. (4+ / 0-)

        Although my Mom is 91, and I wouldn't recommend it for her, either.  The only radio station her old car gets is the local Clear Channel, and she comes in after each trip she makes around the noon hour muttering what an idiot Rush is.  Her first vote was for FDR in1944, and my Grandfather was a New Deal Democrat to his dying breath at 92.  (He was a devout Catholic, but when the Church started pushing the Republican Party because they claimed to be "pro-life," my Grandfather said that that was all well and good, but as a working man, he had to vote for his pocketbook, and no Republican ever gave a damn about the working man.

  •  Same Thing If Your Doctor Starts Whining About.... (7+ / 0-)

    Obamacare.  Change doctors.  It's not that hard to find someone who reads the latest medical journals, didn't graduate from medical school 35 years ago & has a
    fresh approach to life.

    Ditto for your mechanic.  Pull your car out of the lineup if you have too.  I'm still seething about the time someone put a swastika on my favorite Obama sticker in permanent marker
    while we were waiting for a tune up.  We couldn't prove who
    did it, because we had left briefly for lunch.  That was in 2008, & I'm still recovering from it.  

  •  wow, that sucks...I guess nothing (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    howabout, linkage, third Party please

    should surprise us at this point.  There is a lot of animosity among people.  

    In walked the village idiot and his face was all aglow...he's been up all night listening to Mohammed's Radio (Warren Zevon)

    by Wonton Tom on Sat Apr 19, 2014 at 05:08:19 PM PDT

  •  How about when they show Fox "News" (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    howabout, linkage, third Party please

    in the Doctor's office?  Nothing like listening to a bunch of lying sacks of shit to get your blood pressure up.  And then when you ask them to turn it off, they give you, "We're not allowed to."  Do the companies that manufacture MAOIs insist that the doctors have Fox on TV in their waiting rooms so they can sell more pills?  My OB/GYN is probably going to retire soon, and I'm going to hate that because she thoughtfully has no TV in her waiting room.

  •  I have an anti-Fox bumper sticker (0+ / 0-)

    It says:
    Turn off FOX
    Bad news for America
    and, coming out of the grocery store I found a note on my windshield....

    If you don't get your news from Fox, you are truly misinformed
    I saw the young (college age) guy who put it there wait for me to find it and then go into the store.

    I waited for him to come out but he obviously didn't want to get into a discussion.
    I just wanted to tell him that Fox won a lawsuit in which the judge agreed with them that they didn't have to tell the truth.

    The world is my country, all people are my brethren and to do good is my religion ~ Thomas Paine

    by third Party please on Sun Apr 20, 2014 at 03:55:14 AM PDT

    •  Ofcourse he didn't want to discuss (0+ / 0-)

      Those who live in a bubble and only watch Fox aren't even exposed to liberals that can debate, so he likely would've been crushed.

      He thinks we all just run around with a stupid look on our faces shouting "SOSHIALISUM GEWD".

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