I was talking to someone about the difficulty of finding work, more specifically, difficulty with interviews. They told me it's all about attitude, that they wouldn't hire someone with a demeanor like mine.
I'll be the first to admit there are days when I just don't even want to bother getting out of bed. It doesn't seem to matter how hard I try to put one foot in front of the other, because somehow all anyone ever sees is 'that weird guy who isn't even worth the time of day.'
My current affect didn't develop overnight. Nope. That was thanks to years of lies, abuse and the distrust of family, school teachers and employers that developed because of it. And to those of you who are already thinking it or planning on saying it in the comments section, this kind of shit isn't something you just shrug off or get over. Life is never nor has it ever been that simple for anyone, even for the conservative movement who continues to demonize folks like us to no end in sight.
There are days I can't even enjoy anything because of the guilt brought on through simple lack of opportunity and no means of escape. Sure, I hear all the time about how Florida businesses are embracing the potential of people with disabilities, but most of the time we're only offered temporary dead end jobs purely for PR purposes. If they really wanted to give us a chance, they would have done so already rather than spending more money talking about it than on the 'jobs' they 'provide' us.
I suppose I could try for a Schedule A federal job, but even that seems difficult to pursue given my circumstances. That, and I'm not even sure how to navigate such a process. But I suppose anything is better than being turned down again and again by a treasonous and tyrannical private sector regardless of the effort I put in.
See you around,