Today's Affirmation: "I am a magical pile of flaming poo at the door. No one can stomp me out."
Be someone's rock, even though they may throw you through a plate glass window from time to time.
This life is a dream and few of us are truly awake. Feel sorry for the ones who are, those dumbasses.
God basically set women up. That’s why he didn’t hang a cooked steak from the tree.
Apple's logo is a half eaten apple and who bit the apple? Eve. Who told Eve to bite the apple? Satan.
Butterflies look like they'd be assholes to the other insects. "MOVE PEASANT I AM A BUTTER OF FLIES"