I was shocked when Madonna French kissed Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears on the Video Music Awards back in 2003. It was the first time I'd seen women kiss like that. I saw it as too much. But I also saw it for what it was: A publicity stunt to get people talking...and boy, did it ever.
Fast forward to the 2014 NFL Draft. There was another kiss or two or three televised live between openly gay draftee Michael Sam and a guy I believe is his boyfriend. This was no publicity stunt. I believe it was a legitimate jubilant and celebratory, triumphant moment between two people who genuinely care for each other. So, I wasn't as shocked by their first couple of kisses as I was by the kisses between Madonna, Britney and Christina.
In fact, I was touched by their affection for each other, because after all, love is love. And we all should have the right to openly love who we love...and marry them if that's our choice. However, when they smushed cake in each other's faces and then slurped it off each other I felt like they took it too far. The palpable silence from the ESPN analysts--who hadn't been quiet about anything all day--spoke volumes, as they struggled to find the "right" things to say.
And I'm the first to realize that my comfort level and that of others is not the issue. I get it that just because I'm not comfortable with something doesn't make it wrong or that it shouldn't happen. But if I'm being honest my thought was: "I didn't need to see that. Get a room."
I'd like to think I would have felt the same way if I saw a heterosexual couple do the same thing. But I'd be less than honest with myself if I didn't admit that seeing two men carry on like that took the shock factor to a whole 'nother level.
I imagine some people reading this are labeling me as homophobic...and perhaps I am to a degree, while I grow and evolve as a human being. But I can also honestly say I rooted for Sam to get drafted and I'm rooting for him to succeed in the NFL and in life. I can also say that I have no doubt he should've been drafted higher and that teams shied away from him due to his sexual orientation, which is wrong.
I'm not one of those people who fail to see the parallels between gay and lesbian rights and African Americans' ongoing struggle for equality. I wholeheartedly agree with what NBA legend Bill Russell said a few weeks ago during a panel discussion about the Civil Rights Act at the Lyndon B. Johnson Presidential Library in Austin, Texas.
“It seems to me, a lot of questions about gay athletes, were the same questions they used to ask about us,” Russell said. (http://rollingout.com/...)
Russell is a wise man and I'm trying to get there. People adapt to change at different paces...and most adapt to change slowly. Even President Obama said he had to evolve on the issue of gay marriage.
In the meantime, I like the direction our society is moving in terms of the acceptance and equality of folks in the LGBT community. The entirety of the Michael Sam situation shows we're making progress, but that we still have a ways to go. There are many of us who are supportive, but who are still evolving and trying to keep up with this movement, which should absolutely keep moving full speed ahead.