Reince Priebus does our work for us
To quote David Letterman, sometimes the jokes just write themselves: *
Republicans who want to show their pride can say it loud with a T-shirt inspired by New Mexico Gov. Susana Martinez, who was a Democrat until 1995. For a $29 donation, the Republican National Committee is offering T-shirts that say, “I’ll be damned. I’m a Republican!”
Yes.
This is not snark. They are actually selling these.
Apparently without irony at all, people are buying and wearing shirts that proudly exclaim that they are Republicans, and so, well, they'll be damned. Now, the list of reasons that Republicans might presume they are destined for eternal damnation is pretty long: support of the death penalty, fattening the rich at the expense of the poor, lying to the nation about issue after issue, starting wars to score partisan points, raping the environment, fighting to prevent consenting adults from marrying who they love, fighting to prevent women from controlling their own bodies, etc.
But I never expected the RNC to be behind it! But they are, because funny story --
It’s a play on Martinez’s story of how she and her husband had lunch with Republican friends and realized they agreed on many issues, such as the size of government and the impact of welfare.
“And when we left that lunch, we got in the car and I looked over at Chuck and said, ‘I’ll be damned. We’re Republicans,” Martinez said to loud applause and a standing ovation at the 2012 GOP convention in Tampa.
Snap! So she switched! And now all the other Hispanic people will, too. Or something.
Nice anecdote, but I personally don't get it. That'd be like a Red Sox fan going to a Yankees game and coming out all "you know what? those Bronx Bombers really have something going. The pinstripes, the cursing, the accents. Well I'll be damned -- I'm a Yankees fan!"
(as an aside -- "I"ll be damned! I'm a Yankees fan!" shirts would sell like hotcakes. IN BOSTON.)
But whatever. Republicans are keen to Appeal to Younger Generations these days, and you know teh kidz like their snarky t-shirts! So if you know any conservatives that you'd like to bury the hatchet with, might I suggest one of these shirts? They can wear it proudly, and make a factual statement that goes right to the heart of their party platform every time they do. It might give people who read it something to think about!
As for Susan Martinez, well, she has bigger problems to worry about than her t-shirt sales. Because,
Later this month, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie will repay a favor to Martinez and campaign for her in New Mexico.
Uhoh.
* he may have uttered it before, but I am certain Letterman said "Sometimes the jokes just write themselves" in reference to an announcement in December of 2000, when President-elect George W. Bush "began receiving intelligence briefings." Good times.