I have to admit, I have been dreading this call for a long time... Earlier this week, a good friend of ours, John called us.
We had not spoken much since Skip's Husband and I got married in November. At that time, John and his wife Phyllis called to congratulate us and to ask all about the wedding in NYC.
While we were on the phone after our wedding, I was so excited to tell them about our wonderful weekend and how special their phone call was to us... how their love for us does not matter if we're gay or married or whatever... they love us... and that means so much to both of us.
But in the back of my mind, I knew that our happy news might have an impact on our relationship with them...
I was so scared when I received a call from him this week...
I reluctantly picked up the phone and it was John.
"I have something I need to tell you."
My heart sank. I couldn't really breathe very well. My palms started sweating.
"OK", I said. "What's up?"
"Well... " The pause was excruciating. I didn't want to hear this, but I knew I had to be strong.
"Just tell me" I said. "Just say it."
"Phyllis and I are getting a divorce."
I broke down and started crying uncontrollably.
"Oh John, I'm so sorry. If I had only known, we would have never gone to New York."
John said, "What the fuck are you talking about?"
"They said on TV that if gays were allowed to marry, the sanctity of "real" marriages would be in jeopardy. That these new laws would cause straight people to get divorced and then they would have to get gay married. And now it's true. I'm so sorry. It was so selfish of us to just want to be equal. I really didn't think it would come to this... So who is the guy? Do I know him? Is he cute? Does he have a big dick? Did you already get gay married? Why weren't we invited?"
I needed to know... I just wanted to right the wrong that our gay marriage caused my dear friend.
"You're such an asshole", he said. And I agreed. I was selfish and now he was having to pay the price.
"She was blowing her boss at the office. It had been going on for a long time. One of her coworkers called me and told me. She admitted the whole thing. We're through".
I was never happier to hear the words: "She was blowing her boss."
"Oh John, I'm so happy! You're not going to have to get 'gay married' now."
"No, you sarcastic son of a bitch, I'm not getting 'gay married'. But I am going to get 'gay wasted' next month when I come for a visit. Get your drinking pumps polished cause you're taking me out to the gay bars... I'm staying away from girls for a while...at least until the divorce is final and she gets nothing."
I was so relieved to learn that gay marriage does not lead to divorce in the straight community. I've been married for 6 months and I don't think my marriage caused a single straight divorce that I can tell...
I'm starting to think it was all just a scare tactic by the talibangelicals.
I don't think I could take another close call like that again... so I'm disconnecting my phone next week...just in case...