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...loves the fact that his 15 year old daughter goes to an all girls high school.  She is nearing the end of her freshman year and I have watched here blossom into a strong, opinionated young woman.

Such a change from here 8th grade year in a public, coed middle school.

I am so proud of her that it makes me want to burst open.

And even though she misses boys, (on our 30 minute ride to the orthodontist yesterday, she scoped out and commented on all the "hot boys" that she had just seen during our trip at least a dozen times), she really does love being in an educational environment that is devoid of them.

She wants to be a doctor.  Specifically, a surgeon.  And I know she'll make it.

Honestly, for women, it's sometimes a lot better for them when us dudes aren't around.

When I went to the Naval Academy back in the 80's, I saw how hard it was for women to succeed there.  They had to be twice as good as the guys in order to receive half of the credit.  

And when they spoke up, they were classified as "bitches" or "lesbians" or "difficult."

My kid, she's not gonna face that...because of the women who came before her...who spoke out, (and continue to speak out), in spite of all the misogyny that they had to deal with.

My daughter has the space, every day, to speak her mind in a community of women.  It has helped make her the person that she is today.  I eagerly anticipate how it will continue to shape her over the next few years.

And it makes me appreciate even more how important it is to have that "space" and respect.

But I still worry about all of those men out there who still don't "get it."  Who might try to prey on her because she's a petite woman.  It scares me.

And I really, really wish...that as a father, that I didn't have to live in such a world.

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Comment Preferences

  •  I hope it's different for her too. (5+ / 0-)

    "It were a thousand times better for the land if all Witches, but especially the blessing Witch, might suffer death." qtd by Ehrenreich & English. For Her Own Good, Two Centuries of Expert's Advice to Women pp 40

    by GreenMother on Sat May 31, 2014 at 08:35:31 AM PDT

    •  I really do worry... (7+ / 0-)

      after reading that other diary for "women only."

      I read every comment.

      And they represented not only my worst fears, but my best hopes for my kid.

      That diary was one of the best things that I have seen here at DK.

      Nothing worth noting at the moment.

      by Bonsai66 on Sat May 31, 2014 at 08:44:19 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  That was a good diary (11+ / 0-)

        Like you I have a teenage daughter, am proud of her and as her father worry about her safety.  She's 18 and just finished her first year of study toward a biomedical engineering degree.  She's also very strong and opinionated.  

        As fathers, we owe it to our children to prepare them for the world as best we can.  I hate that I had to warn my daughter never to accept a drink from men, for example, because of the incidence of drugs that might have been placed in them by predators who want to rape women.

        I also have a son, and have done my best to raise him to be a responsible young man who respects the rights of all people, but especially women.  I feel that was part of my responsibility as a parent.  Obviously, cultural influences and peers have an effect on how young men view and treat women, but I sincerely believe that too many fathers fail to teach their male children that just as they are entitled to respect, they must offer respect to others, including people to whom they are romantically or sexually attracted.  

        For most of our sons, this means showing respect for women by not treating them as merely objects for the expression of those desires and emotions. It means that our sons must be taught to always keep foremost in their minds that other persons to whom they are attracted have the right to say no, and have that right respected.  To have the right to be free from physical violence, just as our sons have that same right.  

        Fathers alone cannot change the current culture among some in our society which denigrates and degrades other human beings merely based on gender, but we can and should be part of the movement to change those cultural attitudes, and hopefully make progress to a society that does not tolerate, much less accept, misogyny, gender discrimination and the dangerous view that being a male entitles one or provides one special privileges not granted to females.

        "If you tell the truth, you'll eventually be found out." Mark Twain

        by Steven D on Sat May 31, 2014 at 09:10:07 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  Well done! It's what I aspired to do, had I (8+ / 0-)
          I also have a son, and have done my best to raise him to be a responsible young man who respects the rights of all people, but especially women.  I feel that was part of my responsibility as a parent.  Obviously, cultural influences and peers have an effect on how young men view and treat women, but I sincerely believe that too many fathers fail to teach their male children that just as they are entitled to respect, they must offer respect to others, including people to whom they are romantically or sexually attracted.  
          fathered any sons.

          "Push the button, Max!" Jack Lemmon as Professor Fate, The Great Race

          by bartcopfan on Sat May 31, 2014 at 09:18:22 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  I feel like at this point, we are all in starfish (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            bartcopfan

            mode. Each of us conscientious parents, whoever we are, where ever we may be, does our best to reach the kids we can, our kids and maybe a couple of neighbor kids.

            The world will go as it will, so we have to reach underneath the gears of society and quietly start resetting some things that need to be recalibrated.

            Good for all of you dads out there, with sons and or daughters.

            "It were a thousand times better for the land if all Witches, but especially the blessing Witch, might suffer death." qtd by Ehrenreich & English. For Her Own Good, Two Centuries of Expert's Advice to Women pp 40

            by GreenMother on Sun Jun 01, 2014 at 01:07:55 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

  •  I agree completely- single-sex education from jr (7+ / 0-)

    high school on can be so helpful. I would have done much better in it.

    We are all pupils in the eyes of God.

    by nuclear winter solstice on Sat May 31, 2014 at 08:40:40 AM PDT

  •  My beautiful granddaughters... (5+ / 0-)

    They are doing fine.  They went to Catholic grade school (coed) and switched to public schools at high school.  The first year (a much larger school) was hard for the oldest one initially, but I actually think in the long run it was better for her to switch when she did.  She is very bright, in a top university in pre-med, and really doesn't have much time for boys.  

    One of the things that is so very different now then when I was young is athletics for girls.  All of my granddaughters started playing volleyball in 5th grade.  It helps self esteem, teaches team work, keeps them busy, and none of them really are into boys.  If you notice these girls, by the time they are 16, are healthy, strong, and don't obsess about being "thin"... I believe that has made a huge difference in their attitudes towards boys and life in general.  My oldest (age 20), dumped a boyfriend fairly quick because "he was too much hassle".  

    The catholic schools were great as far as learning how to study and the small classes.  But as a liberal I was happy to see them switch to public, as it bothered me to hear what they came home with in politics, which I do not believe belong in education settings, other than to learn history and how to think for yourself.  

    •  My daughter goes to an all girls catholic school. (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      TrueBlueMajority, Sylv, janis b

      And the irony is that I'm an atheist who also went to catholic school, until I switched to public for high school.

      I also very much support our public schools here.  But I'm also glad that my daughter could get a scholarship to this school.

      It is only in the past few years that I have even become aware of the constant, daily misogyny that women face.  It may not be the best solution, but I'm really glad that my kid has had a a chance to learn in an environment without boys around.

      And her classmates are all extraordinary people.

      Nothing worth noting at the moment.

      by Bonsai66 on Sat May 31, 2014 at 09:02:56 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  i know you want the best for your daughter (5+ / 0-)

        Your optimism is touching.  And there is wonderful evidence that single sex education is empowering for girls.

        But won't be in school 24 hours a day.  She still has to participate in the larger culture.  And there are things that have not changed since 1980.  

        Women still have to be twice as good as guys in order to receive half of the credit.  

        When they speak up, they are still classified as "bitches" or "lesbians" or "difficult."

        There are plenty of men out there who still don't "get it."  Who might try to prey on her because she's a petite woman.

        So please, please, please trust me when I say that your kid IS gonna "face that."  I wish i were not true.

        But I dare to dream, after the conversations of the past week, that someday, someday, we might not have to live in such a world

        Politics is like driving. To go backward put it in R. To go forward put it in D.
        DEMAND CREATES JOBS!!!
        Drop by The Grieving Room on Monday nights to talk about grief.

        by TrueBlueMajority on Sat May 31, 2014 at 09:28:34 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    •  my oldest granddaughter is dealing with (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Bonsai66, nzanne, chrisculpepper

      "bad girls" who are giving her a hard time about her weight and her African American hair and also that her father is not as rich as theirs

      I hope she survives this.  At rec softball yesterday, the coach announced the only way any of you will go to college will be with my recommendation.  My daughter spoke up and told him my will provided for her education and she could go to college w/o a scholarship though it would be nice.

      Then another SB mother wanted to know from my daughter if biracial people had to use sunscreen or if they were immune to tanning......................

    •  JWC - my daughters were into sports as well (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      JWC

      It kept them busy and fit and they didn't start dating until they were high school seniors. Both are adults now with graduate professional degrees and great jobs. They both were married at 28.

      "let's talk about that" uid 92953

      by VClib on Sat May 31, 2014 at 08:46:03 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  I remember in the late 70s when a med school (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Bonsai66, FG

    instructor announced to the female students that they were expected to provide live models for themselves and the male students so they could all practice their pelvic exam.

    He did not require male students to be live models when it got to the prostate exam section of the year

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