We're all familiar with the hyperbole of the 24-hour news cycle. Breaking news, we found the plane! We didn't find... actually, it's a Styrofoam cup, sorry. But yesterday, yesterday, it finally lived up to the hype.
CHRISTINE ROMANS (6/11/2014): Stunning epic upset in Virginia.
TRACE GALLAGHER (6/10/2014): House Majority Leader Eric Cantor has now lost his GOP primary to Tea Party activist David Brat.
CARL CAMERON (6/11/2014): An underdog victory on behalf of an unfunded newcomer.
NANCY CORDES (6/11/2014): This is simply unprecedented.
KELLY O'DONNELL (6/11/2014): A history-making surprise.
CHRIS CUOMO (6/11/2014): David over Goliath ... times 1,000.
A thousand!! This is what you need to do. You need to take the Biblical struggle of Israel's future King David as he, armed with but a slingshot, slayed a literal giant whose very name has become synonymous with large things. And multiply that by 1,000! (audience laughter and applause)
That... that... no! I even think that's understating it. That was last night's Republican primary in Virginia's 7th District, where political newcomer David Brat defeated the sitting House Majority Leader — and I can only assume, future millionaire lobbyist — Eric Cantor. Cantor was basically the fourth most powerful Republican in Washington, behind Mitch McConnell, John Boehner, and an AR-15 that fires baby eagles dressed like Jesus.
(audience laughter)
They said the picture won't be ready till the show, and I said all right. Whatever you can do to make it realistic. That's really quite lovely.
How the hell did this happen?
NANCY CORDES (6/11/2014): He had all the name recognition, he outspent his opponent 40-to-1, and still lost by an astounding 11 points.
CHUCK TODD (6/11/2014): Cantor's campaign spent more at steakhouses than Brat spent on his entire campaign.
(audience laughter)
Oh that makes sense. Very hard to conduct your campaign when you got the meat sweats. "Uh, riiiiight. My budget platforrrrrrrrm. Vvvvvvvvrrrrrrrrr. Lord have mercy, I vvvvrrrrrrrr."
Let me ask you a question there, who is this David Brat fellow?
FOX NEWS (6/11/2014): He is a college economics professor.
BETTY NGUYEN (6/11/2014): A 3.4 rating out of 5 on RateMyProfessors.com. Students also gave him a chili pepper, meaning he's considered pretty hot, as in, good looking.
(audience whooping)
Looks like Congress has a new McDreamy. Step aside, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders.
All right, I like what I'm seeing here from this fella. But is he more than eye candy?
DAVID BRAT (6/10/2014): The reason we won this campaign, there's just one reason, and that's because dollars do not vote; you do!
Wow, I love the sentiment, although a certain Supreme Court might disagree with you. But I like the cut of his jib. What else you got there, fella?
DAVID BRAT (6/10/2014): Luke 18:27 — Jesus replied, "What is impossible with man is possible with God."
(surprised audience laughter)
Did not see that coming.
DAVID BRAT (6/10/2014): This is a miracle from God that just happened. ... We believe in God, who gave us this miracle today. ... I love every single person that God made on this planet.
We get it, you beat a Jewish guy! We get it! (audience laughter) Fine, we're not as chosen as we thought we were! OK? (audience laughter)
You know what's interesting, though? What's interesting about the Jewish people, if I may, is that if we had achieved a victory like this election, the next day, that would be a new Jewish holiday. That would be... we'd have a whole... it would be eight days, and we'd come up with some type of potato/onion thing to eat. And kids, kids would hate it.
So what strategy did God use there to defeat the pro-life, Obamacare repealing, President obstructing, debt ceiling/default risking, tax loophole embracing, government shutdowning Eric Cantor?
MIKA BRZEZINSKI (6/11/2014): Brat went after Cantor for not staying true to conservative principles.
MARK PRESTON (6/11/2014): He tried to say that, in fact, Eric Cantor was too liberal.
(shocked audience response)
What?! He's too liberal? Yes, no, I imagine you could have said Eric Cantor was too liberal... pre-Enlightenment. (audience laughter) Certainly during the Middle Ages, Cantor's views on accepting gravity would be considered dangerous. (audience laughter) How is this cat too liberal??
MARK PRESTON (6/11/2014): Immigration reform, that is the issue that Dave Brat tried to hammer Eric Cantor with in the past few months.
REP. ERIC CANTOR, R-VA (2/9/2013): And it is time to provide an opportunity for legal residence and citizenship for those who are brought to this country as children, and who know no other home.
Communist! (audience laughter) Get back in your hybrid car that runs on NPR tote bag compost and old Lilith Fair posters and whatever the byproducts of steak are. How did you spend $168,000 on steak? I mean, how many sides can you order? There's cream spinach, hash brown.... Let me ask you a question, Eric Cantor. The tower of seafood that you ordered at the steak place — was Rapunzel living at the top of it? Because, that's a....
(audience laughter)
All right. So 65,000 people in one congressional district in Virginia have overthrown a clearly arrogant and unsuspecting incumbent. Really hard to draw any broader lessons, considering Lindsey Graham, who's more supportive of immigration reform than even Cantor, easily defeated his Tea Party opponents. Then again, I dont' have 24 hours of news to fill, so to the Broader Lesson-mobile!
6/11/2014:
ANDREA MITCHELL: The voters are simply angry.
GEORGE ALLEN: People don't like the status quo.
BECKY QUICK: The big message for Washington is that nothing is going to get passed in any form of legislation.
JONATHAN MARTIN: There is no chance for compromise.
JOHN KING: Compromise, forget about it.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Immigration reform is now dead in Congress.
BOB SCHIEFFER: I think it's even deader.
FRANK LUNTZ: It's going to be very dangerous for a Republican to talk to Democrats.
Oh no! Congress's current golden age of cooperation and productiveness is over! (wild audience laughter and applause) We'll be right back.
stories.