I could babble on endlessly on things I don't understand, just like I do now, but get paid handsomely, get invited to swanky parties and enjoy green room coffee and danish on Sundays.
I could look at Eric Cantor's defeat, which, like every single one of these paid yammerheads, I did not see coming, and pretend to know exactly what it means and portends. I could go on and on about the Tea Party resurrection and how those yowling chowderheads are going to be a formidable force in the coming elections.
And I'd be wrong. But get paid. Instead, I'll have to carry on and be wrong for free, like always.
The Tea Party is not the cause of Eric Cantor's fall, nor is immigration reform. Eric Cantor, consummate self-absorbed asshole who couldn't be bothered with onerous tasks like constituent services or actually campaigning, did Eric Cantor in. Shakespearean, if you like your Shakespeare low-rent with chicken fried steak.
What's more, 'Pubs who swallow this week's pundit pap of TP reborn may be in for a bit of Shakespearean comeuppance themselves.
Because the Tea Party is resurgent only in the minds of its adherents. Americans, you know, those of us who accept the idea of a country with a government and laws and shit, aren't that thrilled with 'em.
Remember that big news back in December from Gallup? Sure you do. We talked about it a lot here. Tea Party Favorability Falls to Lowest Yet. It heralded the news that more than half of actual Americans, not "patriots"-in-quotes, disapproved of the Koch-spawned GOP sub-cultists.
Ah, but my dear Vor, that was in December, nearly an age ago. Things change, old boy.
Boy, howdy, do they. Here's another Galluper, four months later. Slightly different question (supporter/opponent as opposed to approve/disapprove), but enough crossover to mark a trend. Note that, in the December poll, 22% of Americans called themselves TP "supporters," 24% "opponents" and 48% essentially said "Whatevs." In April, the supporter numbers stayed flat, but the number of self-described opponents jumped 6 points to 30%.
Now, now, Vor, that was April, nearly an age ago. Things change, old boy.
Yeah, they do. Let's see, anything happen between April and now that might affect actual Americans' view of the tea party? Well, yeah, now that I think of it. A millionaire deadbeat rancher assembled an army of hyper-gunned vigilantes to spark a showdown with federal agents out to collect his years-old bill for using land owned by those actual Americans.
Oh, yeah, and a couple of self-styled "revolutionaries" decided to go Galt one better and shot down some cops in cold blood in a pizza joint.
And covered their corpses in the flag of the Tea Party.
Might just be my own amateur pundit delusion, but I have a hard time thinking Americans see the TP in a f'ing better light after that.
No, the Tea Party is, to actual Americans, a weird, kooky fringe group. After last week, a damned dangerous weird, kooky fringe group.
And if the 'Pubs want to buy into this week's Beltway Bible Truth that wrapping themselves in the Gadsden flag is the way to long-term viability, damn if I'll stop them.
But I don't think the blood's quite dry on that banner yet, boys. Best have a care for the Brooks Brothers.