I started writing tonight's Top Comments diary about a rather depressing topic. I got midway through and realized that we don't need a depressing diary on a Friday night and tossed it in the dustbin of history.
What we need is a damned silly diary.
What, I wondered to myself, could possibly be sillier than gurning? Nothing, that's what! Gurning it is.
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Whether you know it or not, at some point during your life you have almost certainly indulged in gurning. Whether you tried to out-gurn your childhood friends, or practiced it as an adult to get a baby to laugh, all but the most seriously dull people on the planet have gurned. Even these people have most likely gurned if they have ever hit their thumb with a hammer or stepped in dog shit.
What is gurning, you ask? I'll let the Oxford Dictionary provide the definition:
Gurn
verb
[no object] chiefly British
Make a grotesque face:
(as noun gurning) Gurning is one of the fair’s most popular competitions.
Now that you know that making a ridiculously contorted face actually has a name, you might also be surprised to know that it is also a serious sport spawning competitions to see who will take home that coveted cup. These take place primarily in England and are regulated by their parent organization, The Ministry of Silly Walks. Okay, I made that last part up.
But it is true, gurning competitions have been taking place in rural England for centuries. The oldest recorded gurning event began in the slightly disputed year of 1297 at the Egremont Crab Fair, a fair celebrating the harvest of crab apples that has been in existence since the undisputed year 1267.
Gurning competitions are straightforward with one purpose in mind, to entertain people by looking as foolish or grotesque as possible. The person who gets the most audience applause wins. There is one small catch. For reasons that seem as silly as gurning itself, you must wear a horse collar while getting your gurn on. Take a look at this short video shot in 1969 to get a feel for this sport of kings fools. From what I can glean, the people lacking teeth have a pretty nice edge.
Even though the gurning competition is done in good fun, it doesn't mean that the participants don't take their craft seriously. Take Tommy Mattinson for instance. He has won the World Gurning Championships 15 times and even gurned for Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II who did not appear amused, naturally. Tommy has gurning in his blood, you see. His father Gordon won 10 times during the 1960s-1970s.
This is actually a touching video in a lot of respects.
In case you just can't get enough of people who are all likely fans of Jim Carrey, here is a full-length documentary. I watched it last night and honestly, it's pretty darned entertaining.
Join me below where I invited you all to spend the remainder of your evening making funny faces at one another.
TOP COMMENTS
June 20, 2014
Thanks to tonight's Top Comments contributors! Let us hear from YOU
when you find that proficient comment.
From HoundDog:
In last night's Top Comments diary, Tara the Antisocial Social Worker starts a thread mentioning her nail clippers being confiscated which our master punster renso capetti uses to "paint the town" with a series of most excellent nail puns.
From kfunk937:
In a diary today by SViking regarding childhood vaccinations, this comment by LeftHandedMan was simply toooo gooood to pass up. His/her comment is complete, well reasoned, and a lesson to those of us that would like to emulate his erudite, informed approach.
From Mike Kahlow and Eman:
In Puddytat's dairy , AnnetteK perfectly captures how happy our Puddy must be to see Scott Walker in his well-earned predicament.
From Puddytat:
From Puddytat's own diary How's Walker responding to charges that he's at the center of a 'criminal scheme'? By buying ad time, this comment by annieli gave our diarist a good belly laugh.
From TrueBlueMajority:
In leftprogressive's diary NOM's Rally Crashed, Burned, Flopped, Failed, Fizzled, Disintegrated And Imploded All At Once, Crashing Vor made this must appreciate comment on the poor attendance at the NOM rally.
From Steveningen:
I love this perfectly pitched comment by pollbuster in Puddytat's diary Scott Walker Strikes Back! Claims to be Victim of "Incredible Abuse of Power".
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TOP PHOTOS
June 19, 2014
Enjoy jotter's wonderful PictureQuilt™ below. Just click on the picture and it will magically take you to the comment that features that photo. Have fun, Kossacks!
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