GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or even just thinking of quitting, please join us! We kindly ask that politics be left outside.
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A message to ALL quitters (and would-be quitters): You don't have to avoid GUS if you have a failed quit. We won't give you a bad time or nag you. We consider the failed quits as "practice" for the real quit.
We addictive types sure do love our routines, perhaps even more than the average person. We're experts at organizing our lives just so, finding ways to minimize the stress associated with our addictive behaviors. One way we do this is to limit the amount of external stresses we experience. This can manifest in a lot of different ways, but a common one is to limit our contact with the unknown, whether it be people, places, or experiences. We figure out a routine and then we stick with what we know.
Now, sticking to our own little routines doesn't mean stress is eliminated entirely, but it does mean that the stresses we experience are familiar ones, stresses we've probably already worked out coping strategies for (even though those can be flawed or even counterproductive, like---oh, let's just say smoking, to choose an entirely random example). Sure, it's stress, but it's our stress, y'know?
But changing our routines, breaking out of our ruts, and challenging our own "comfort zone" can have unexpected benefits, and it may be easier than you think. As always, it helps to start small, with minor tweaks and little adjustments here and there.
It could be as simple as trying an unfamiliar food (or re-trying one you didn't like back in the day, to see if your tastes have changed). Or maybe just trying the special instead of the old familiar entree item at a favorite restaurant. It won't be successful 100% of the time---few things are, right?---but you probably will find some new favorites, get the chance to re-think some of your old assumptions, and maybe even come up with a funny horror story or two to share with friends if something goes hilariously wrong. Worst-case scenario, you're out a few bucks, you have to buy Alka-Selzer or TUMS on your way home, and you know, for absolutely sure, that you really, really, really don't like liver or steamed okra or Rocky Mountain Oysters, especially not together.
It might be something a little more challenging, too: going outside of established routines in the workplace or taking steps to change careers; challenging your own assumptions about relationships with family or friends; tackling major behavioral change (like quitting smoking or establishing a fitness routine); undertaking further or continuing education; learning new skills or honing old ones. But even these larger-scale changes will likely have relatively humble beginnings.
There's a new site called Give it 100, which was started by a woman named Karen Cheng, who created a video of her attempts to learn to dance, after taping her efforts along the way. The result is pretty impressive:
But as she herself says, it's not just about learning to dance...
"It's about having a dream and not knowing how to get there - but starting anyway. When you watch someone perform or score the winning point - you're only seeing a brief moment of glory. What you don't see is thousands of hours of preparation. You don't see the self doubt, lost sleep, the lonely nights working. You don't see the moment they started. The moment they were just like you, wondering how they could ever be good. We made Giveit100 for you to see that moment. Everyone starts a beginner."
You can be a beginner at a whole bunch of things, from mastering a skill to making a significant lifestyle change. I did a quick search and found a few people who are recording their efforts to quit smoking as part of the Giveit100 challenge, including
this guy. While some folks wouldn't invite the scrutiny that comes with posting your efforts to make a major life change in a public forum, there's
plenty of evidence supporting the idea that tracking your own efforts can make those efforts more effective, because, in part, it helps you identify triggers, patterns of behavior, and figure out your responses (both good
and bad) so you can correct them if necessary. This kind of tracking is a component of clinical behavioral change strategies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
Formal therapy aside, quite a few people find strength in numbers, sharing efforts with other individuals (workout or diet or quit buddies, for example) or with bigger groups or broader support communities (like GUS, for example). Doing so can help us avoid the trap of making excuses or talking ourselves out of our intentions. Others like the mutual support and encouragement found when you connect with people (in person or online) who are dealing with similar struggles, or have already been in your shoes. The forum is not as important as the connection itself, and the intent to move beyond your own comfort zone.
After all, trying something new has another benefit: it keeps things interesting, and that's a very good thing. Boredom is the enemy of success when it comes to behavioral change. It's so easy to lose momentum and interest in changing when the things associated with the change are too predictable and samey and un-fun. In this type of effort, it definitely helps to push our own boundaries a bit, to shake things up, and to keep things interesting by adding a little variety to your days.
Are you ready to get out of your familiar routines, and maybe try something new?
Try this: do something new and different this weekend. Doesn't have to involve a lot of planning or thought...instead of saying "better not..." say "...sure, why not?" and see where it takes you.
Who's Your Little Buddy?
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Have you had some experience with the effects of smoking, and want to write a GUS diary or host an open thread? Please sign up in the Butt Can (Tip Jar), and name the day and time that works for you. The weekly GUS Diary Schedule is below, with regular hosts in bold. There's an open slot just calling your name!
Wed PM: Vacationland (You Are Here)
Thu AM: anodnhajo
Thu PM: Open
Fri AM: flumptytail
Fri PM: Open
Sat AM: Portia Elm
Sat PM: Open
Sun AM: gchaucer2
Sun PM: Open
Mon AM: Homers24
Mon PM: Open
Tue AM: gchaucer2
Tue PM: Open
Wed AM: Homers24
If you can spare a few hours, please consider hosting GUS. It doesn't have to be a permanent slot; it can be a one-time deal or just an open thread! Not sure where to start? Just ask for help in the Butt Can (Tip Jar). Seriously, it doesn't have to include specific elements or require all sorts of fabulous diary formatting skills. The regulars will make sure stuff gets carried over from diary to diary, so if you want to just tell your story or provide an open thread and host for a few hours, that's cool too. You do not need to be perfect, you do not need to become a regular, and you would make some quitters very happy.