From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
More Continuous Loops
What are they thinking???
President Obama: "Must do the people's business…Must do the people's business…"
Harry Reid: "Must do the people's business…Must do the people's business…"
Mitch McConnell: "Must get reelected!...Must get reelected!..."
Justice Alito: "That's what you get for laughing at me in school, GIRLS... That's what you get for laughing at me in school, GIRLS…"
"SPF 4 ain't gonna be enough…
SPF 4 ain't gonna be enough…"
John Kerry: "Secretary of whack-a-mole is more like it… Secretary of whack-a-mole is more like it..."
Eric Cantor: "Would fries you with that like? Damn, I'll never get the hang of this new job...Would fries you with that like? Damn, I'll never get the hang of this new job…"
John Boehner "I wonder if Cantor wants the knives he stuck in my back back. Ha ha, back back sounds funny… I wonder if Cantor wants the knives he stuck in my back back. Ha ha, back back sounds funny…"
Fair weather U.S. World Cup fan: "Football baseball hockey basketball…Football baseball hockey basketball…"
Ted Cruz: "I don’t miss Canada…I don’t miss Canada…"
Canada: "We don’t miss Ted…We don’t miss Ted…"
Racist Murrietta protesters: "Og!…Og!…"
Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX): "... ..."
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Note: No matter how loud I yell as a sidewalk counselor, the sidewalk never seems to listen. But I keep at it because I know that one of these days it's gonna crack.
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9 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the midterm elections:
118
Days 'til the
Sequim Lavender Festival in Washington:
9
Approximate percent of California under "extreme" and "exceptional" drought conditions, respectively:
80%, 36%
(Source:
LA Times)
Cash received so far by homeowners as part of a settlement with 13 banks over their screw-the-little-guy mortgage processing practices:
$3.1 billion
Number of borrowers receiving money because they got screwed by the banksters:
4.2 million
(Source: Federal Reserve)
Year during which shipments of tablets are expected to outnumber shipments of PCs:
2015
(Source:
The Portland Press Herald)
Length of time blogger Ben Tribbett lasted in his paid gig to defend the Redskins name on behalf of the NFL football team before resigning:
2 weeks
(Source:
Think Progress)
World Cup Soccer semi-finals
Germany 7 Brazil 1
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 187 (including 4 plagues and 1 rather serious clerical error). Soul Protection Factor 36 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Gooooal!!!!!!!
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CHEERS to the headline of the day. Courtesy of Anna Minard over at The Stranger: Patty Murray and Senate Democrats Draft Bill to Override Hobby Lobby's Anti-Birth-Control Bullshit. The Cliffs Notes summary:
Our own Mom in Tennis Shoes™, Washington State senator Patty Murray, is behind a new bill aimed at overriding the nonstop horror show of a decision that is Burwell v. Hobby Lobby.
The bill, drafted by Senate Democrats in consultation with the Obama administration, would go ahead and require for-profit corporations (like Glitter Glue for Jesus Hobby Lobby) to pay for contraceptive coverage just like other medical care. The House Dems are reportedly
drafting a companion bill, too.
Zero chance of passage in the House, but it puts Democrats on the record as siding with the overwhelming majority who think "Hobby Lobby" is the proverbial judicial activism at its pretzel-twisted worst. Of course, God could come down and clear all this up real fast. But I suspect the Almighty is smart enough to know that divine intervention would be branded an Obama hoax by the conservative media. Fast learner, that one.
JEERS to the return of the do-nothings. That stench you smelled yesterday was the House ramping up for another stretch of incompetence, intransigence and invective. Among the things they're not expected to get done: all the things they say they're expecting to get done.
CHEERS to little lessons I learned when I was, like, five. Have you heard about these idiots driving around in trucks that have been modified so that they belch plumes of black toxic exhaust? They're upset with---who else---President Obama and his dastardly scheme to make this planet a little more habitable, so they’ve decided that if he's for clean, they're for dirty-smokey. But one little detail: even a five-year-old knows that "coal rolling" is effing illegal:
"Whooo! I'm taking ten years off
my life! In yer FACE, Obama!"
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It is a violation of the [Clean Air Act] to manufacture, sell, or install a part for a motor vehicle that bypasses, defeats, or renders inoperative any emission control device. For example, computer software that alters diesel fuel injection timing is a defeat device. Defeat devices, which are often sold to enhance engine performance, work by disabling a vehicle's emission controls, causing air pollution. As a result of EPA enforcement, some of the largest manufacturers of defeat devices have agreed to pay penalties.
We checked with EPA and, yes, the rules also apply to the smallest pea brains.
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Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
This is another edition of The One Word Answer Man. Laura Clawson from that moonbat web site The Daily Kos asks: Labor Secretary wants to punch politicians. Can you blame him?
No.
Now back to Cheers and Jeers.
Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
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JEERS to the root of all the universe's problems. Since the extended July 4th holiday tends to turn my brain to mush, I often find it helpful to remind myself of what the White House is currently "under fire" for according to the beltway media and their lapdog pundits. The current list:
"We're not stealing enough lollipops
from enough children. Do better."
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Iraq, Syria, Israel/Palestine, surveillance overreach, thunderclouds, world hunger, Benghazi (ad infinitum), litter in national parks, unemployment, Shia LaBeouf's latest tirade, baggy pants, car trouble, Glenn Greenwald's twitter feed, the heat, the humidity, the shrinking number of daylight hours, judicial tyranny, gun-control legislation, gas prices, lime prices, Americans not winning Wimbledon or the World Cup, chaos in the helium reserve, coal rolling (of course) not doing a photo-op at the border, the giant asteroid headed straight for us, plus the one next to it, and the size of this font.
I'll post the second half of the list tomorrow. Assuming he doesn't get impeached over those asteroids first.
Conspired with milk
to bring Taylor down
and install Fillmore.
JEERS to sudden departures. When you're a fierce and legendary general who becomes President of the United States, it's gotta be a little embarrassing to die from eating bad fruit. But that's what happened on July 9, 1850 to "#12" aka
Zachary Taylor when he expired days after contracting severe gastroenteritis. As it often did back then, the medical community
hastened his demise:
Any potential for recovery was overwhelmed by his doctors, who treated him with "ipecac, calomel, opium and quinine (at 40 grains a whack), and bled and blistered him too."
Ultimately what got him was a tainted combination of ice milk and cherries. You might say he went out with a Bing.
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Five years ago in C&J: July 9, 2009
JEERS to smoke and promises. Good news and bad news on climate change from the G-8 summit. Good news: Italy is lovely this time of year. Bad news: this is our world leaders' short-range plan for treating the third planet from the sun's fever:
2009 Agree to consider cutting carbon emissions by 2050
2010 Agree to continue considering cutting carbon emissions by 2050
2011 Agree to furrow brows and make frowny faces over carbon emissions
2012 Agree to adopt guidelines for proper furrowing and frowning (China will balk at this)
2013 Agree to "pause" in case anyone needs to tinkle.
2014 Agree to start all over because someone lost the cocktail napkin our climate change plan was written on. (Rhymes with Schmangela Schmerkel)
But there was one other bright spot: President Obama didn’t end the summit as his predecessor did last year by snarling, "
Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter." File that under 'world's smallest bright spot.'
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And just one more…
CHEERS to a talking head I'll listen to. The sands in the hourglass are fast draining on the comment period during which "We's the People" can weigh in on the FCC's proposal to give internet service providers the green light to make your online experience only as fast as you are wealthy. Yesterday Howard Dean posted his own video comment and urged everyone to shake their booty and submit theirs before Tuesday's deadline. Preach it, Howard:
You can send your own comment directly to the FCC here, or do it through Democracy for America's site. As Howard says, "These public comments matter. The FCC is listening to what the public has to say, and a strong public outcry could force the FCC to abandon this flawed plan." Besides, if the telcos win and gum up the tubes, a real horror could happen: I'll have to come to your house and read C&J live.
Have a nice Wednesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Supermassive black holes shoot gas out of Bill in Portland Maine at ridiculous rate
---Daily Digest News.
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