From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Friday Night Margaret & Helen Blogging
After posting once in January, the most famous octogenarian duo in Blogger Land---one from Texas, the other from Maine---disappeared and left their legion of fans jonesin' for 168 days. Happily they re-emerged, feisty as ever, and we can thank a certain Texas governor for it, writes Helen…
I thought I was ready to hang my quill up for good and then Rick Perry had to open his mouth again and let a whole lot of stupid fall out. When will that man realize that his brain is older and more tired than even mine? … Now the man who wants to shrink the federal government just enough to fit inside my vagina is complaining that Obama isn’t doing enough to stop the flood of immigrant children coming across the border illegally. Evidently the only children Rick cares about are the ones who haven’t been born yet. Once they are here---screw ‘em!
She also has a few words about the jerk who wants to succeed Governor Oops:
Love what they've done
with their battle cruiser.
Do a little research on Greg Abbott folks. He is the real deal when it comes to crazy. He is suing Obama over the border issues. He hates those children too, I guess. In fact, the only thing Greg Abbott seems to hate more than immigrant children is the ability for women to limit the number of unwanted children they bring into the world. This Republican conundrum is troubling indeed---which comes first, the chicken or the vagina?
Margaret, dear, my work on this earth is not done. Texas needs another woman in the State Capitol. I’m for Wendy.
They followed it up this week with a look at Perry's
warped brand of compassionate-conservative Christianity.
Welcome back, ladies. We missed you.
Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, July 25, 2014
Note: To get your point across effectively, I recommend an advanced form of linguistic programming that works well in most situations. It's called scream and scream and scream. If that doesn't work, turn red and projectile vomit your creamed corn all over the place. Read my abstract in JAMA for more info. ---The Baby
-
Starts today!!!
-
By the Numbers:
Days 'til President Obama's 53rd birthday:
10
Days 'til the
Montana State Fair:
0!!!
Unemployment claims for the week, the lowest since February 2006:
284,000
(Source: Labor Dept.)
New minimum wage the Portland, Maine city council will consider enacting, up two bucks from its current rate:
$9.50
(Source:
The Portland Press Herald)
Percent chance women should get their husband's permission before entering politics:
100%
(Source: Georgia GOP congressional candidate
Jody Hice)
Percent chance that it's
over for Mark McGwire and Jose
Canseco:
1,00000,00,0,00% it is SO OVER!!!
(Source:
Bleacher Report)
-
NEW! Michele Bachmann Departure Countdown
Michele Bachmann and her googly eyes leave Congress in 162 days. And then…on to the White House??? I'll gladly contribute five bucks and three corn dogs.
-
Puppy Pic of the Day: And pootie goes down…in one round!
-
CHEERS to holding the vultures to account. You want to be a private health insurer in the age of Obamacare? Then you gotta spend at least 80 percent of your premium dollars on actual medical care, and if you don't, then prepare to fork 'em back over:
The whole point of the 80/20 rule is to encourage insurance companies to operate more efficiently and cut down on their overhead---and it’s slowly working. The portion of premium dollars allocated to insurers’ profits and administrative costs dropped from 15.3 percent in 2011 to 11.7 percent in 2013. HHS estimates that if insurers weren’t making those type of changes, Americans would have likely paid about $3.8 billion in additional premiums in 2013. Altogether, since the medical loss ratio took effect three years ago, the administration calculates that it’s averted $9 billion dollars worth of unnecessarily high insurance premiums.
Expected to be refunded this year to an estimated 6.8 million insurance company enrollees: $330 million. And thanks to another provision of the ACA, you can get it back in the form of a credit on future premiums, a check, or a hospital gown that actually fits.
JEERS to a bad case of political myopia. Gotta love (read: roll your eyes at) the hawks as they complain about President Obama's cautious, diplomatic approach to ending the Israel-Palestine flare-up, asserting that President Mitt Romney would be going all Rambo-Patton-Jack Bauer in the region with steely-eyed resolve. And it's true! Just ask 2012 Mitt Romney if you don’t believe me:
The video that keeps on giving...
"[S]o what you do is, you say, you move things along the best way you can. You hope for some degree of stability, but you recognize that this is going to remain an unsolved problem…and we kick the ball down the field and hope that ultimately, somehow, something will happen and resolve it."
I can smell his musk through the pixels.
"Hey, kid. Catch me a break."
CHEERS to the end of the end. It was all over for Tricky Dick 40 years ago this Sunday, thanks to a 27-11 vote by the House Judiciary Committee to adopt the first of three articles of impeachment against President Nixon who, said ABC News's Tom Jarrell at the time, was
"presumably still in his swim trunks" while on vacation in California when he heard the news. Meanwhile, then-VP Gerald Ford just couldn’t help but play a little game of up-is-downism:
Ford: It's interesting that every Democrat on the committee---north and south---voted for the article. ... It tends to make it a partisan issue.
Reporter: Even if one-third of Republicans voted for it?
Ford: Well, the fact that every one of the Democrats voted for it, I think, uh, lends credence that it's a partisan issue, even though some Republicans have deviated.
...said the Republican who later unilaterally exonerated the Republican crook. But, hey, what's a little hypocrisy among friends?
JEERS to the butthead of the joke. Maine's dim-bulb Teapublican governor is back in the news for more dimbulbishness. Portland Press Herald columnist Bill Nemitz explains the latest embarrassment:
"Cuz 'o them kids we only got
dis many dolluhs left!"
We’re talking about Gov. Paul LePage and his dogged search for the elusive “Maine Eight”---the handful of unaccompanied alien children who have found temporary refuge here while the federal government sorts out who gets to stay in the United States and who gets deported back to their country of origin. [LePage claimed] Tuesday that Maine “simply can’t afford” the aforementioned eight little wanderers now in our midst. LePage’s latest lament was manna from heaven (once again) for Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert.
“Folks, I never realized Maine was in such dire financial straits,” Colbert deadpanned to his million-plus viewers Wednesday. “They’re just one Octomom away from bankruptcy!”
The vast majority of Mainers agree that we
can afford to help the eight refugee children (and many more). Not coincidentally, it happens to be the same vast majority of Mainers who agree that we
can't afford one Paul LePage.
CHEERS to compassionate conservatism. Nineteen years ago tomorrow, President Bush I signed the Americans with Disabilities Act. He didn't want anything to stand between his son and the White House.
Uses his Jedi powers on "Real Time" to make
the tea party guests cluck like chickens.
-
CHEERS to home vegetation. A quick roundup of some of the eyestuff that may end up on your TV. After Chris Hayes and Rachel on MSNBC, we switch to HBO for
Real Time, where Bill Maher poses witty suppositions with Neil deGrassi Tyson, Richard D. Wolff, Amy Goodman, and tea partiers Matt Kibbe and Hogan Gidley. New
DVD releases include a revenge thriller that got mega-boffo reviews,
Blue Ruin, and the Italian western
Sabata, featuring a banjo that
makes the NRA's cold heart go pitter-pat. Your
baseball schedule is here. (The Red Sox will make their big move this weekend by sweeping the….oh, who am I kidding.) On
Bill Moyers & Company: Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards and Arthur Brooks of the American Enterprise Institute. And the weekend comes to a snarky close with John Oliver's
Last Week Tonight.
Now here's your Sunday morning lineup:
David Gregory's replacement
gets rave reviews from everyone.
-
Meet the Press: The show achieves its highest ratings in ten years by airing nothing but a test pattern with audio of John McCain shopping for sock suspenders.
This Week: Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX), and Rep. Henry Cuellar (D-TX) on the border thing goin' on; roundtable with Donna Brazile, Rep. Tom Cole (R-OK), S.E. Cupp and Robert Reich. Plus "mystery" guests on the Middle east, which is network code for John McCain.
Face the Nation: This week it's Bob Schieffer's turn to babysit Rep. Mike Rogers (R-MI) while wife Kristi goes shopping; a brooch discusses foreign policy issues and, as usual, shows up to the set wearing a Madeleine Albright; election yadda yadda with Anthony Salvanto (CBS), David Leonhardt (NYT), Amy Walter (Cook Report), and John Dickerson (CBS); Ukrainian Foreign Minister Pavlo Klimkin.
CNN's State of the Union: Fusspot Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-SC) says the president "talks loud, no stick," but I'm not sure if he's talking about Obama or Reagan; Nancy Pelosi responds; roundtable with Senator and Netroots Nation attendee Chris Murphy (D-CT), Former Bush National Security Adviser Stephen Hadley, Jane Harman and Julia Ioffe of The New Republic.
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: New House majority whip Rep Steve Scalise (R-LA) on what it's like to whip a dead elephant; Hanan Ashrawi, a member of the PLO Executive Committee; Amb Ron Prosor, Israel's Ambassador to the UN; roundtable with Brit Hume, Juan Williams, George Will and Kirsten Powers.
Happy viewing!
-
Five years ago in C&J: July 25, 2009
CHEERS to fountains of money. Wow! Trickle-down economics really works! To watch rivers of cash flow from the rich to the rest of us, all you have to do is close your eyes, clap your hands, wish on a star, rub a lucky rabbit's foot, throw some salt over your shoulder, and turn this chart upside down:
My villa's gonna be in the south of France. How 'bout yours?
-
At least weeds don't smell
as bad as GOP governors.
-
And just one more…
CHEERS to gubernatorial gardening. Some people say exercise is the best thing to clear your head. Some say yoga, others say pot, while a handful find peace by short-sheeting the beds at nursing homes. I say it's spending a lazy weekend hour or two in the garden pulling weeds. Here's how we do it: 1) Grab the base of the little bastard. 2) Give it a gentle yet persistent tug and wait for that little "Rrrrrrip!" sound that lets you know you've eliminated the menace by the roots. 3) Hold it up and say, "You're gone, Governor LePage. Governor Snyder, Governor Scott, Governor Walker, Governor Brownback...you're next." 4) Acknowledge the spontaneous applause coming from the neighbors' yards. (And yes, it's just as satisfying to do this with idiot senators and reps. Oh look...it's a dandeSusanCollinslion!)
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
-