Transcript:
-Short explanation of the intent of the video in Spanish- and then-
For those of you who don't know me, my name is Major Killing. And, killing is my business. In fact, when it comes to killing, you could say that I am a wholly owned subsidiary of death itself When it comes to war, I ride shotgun next to the four horsemen of the apocalypse. I'm the worst nightmare to America's enemies and a thorn in the side to peace loving, commie, liberal hippies everywhere. And, I'm here to tell you about a personal hero of mine.
Nobody has done more for the safety and security of this great land by way of killing than Governor of Texas Rich Perry. Rick Perry has killed more people in the name of justice than any other governor in our nation's history, 234 and counting. As a matter of fact, Texas has legally killed so many people they are changing their nick name from “The Lone Star State “ to “The Hemp Necktie State” and the state motto from “Friendship” to “Texas, play with it boy! It's loaded!” And, to their credit, the murder rate has come down steadily over the last 18 years in Texas. Though the National Academy of Sciences has said that statistically as many as ten or twelve of those condemned prisoners may have been innocent, the proof is obviously in the pudding, you gotta break a few eggs to make a decent omelet.
Speaking of broken eggs, Governor Perry really put one in the skillet along with his brain back in 2012 during the Presidential primary debates. Recently, he has admitted that his poor performance back then was simply because he was high. Though shocking to some, he is really just embracing the national zeitgeist. Who hasn't suggested, while they were really stoned, that the world wouldn't be a better place if our leaders would just get high once in a while. Well folks, Governor Perry is listening, even if he can't remember half of what you just said. And, he is saddling up once again, to try and take back the reins of this country in 2016. That's why I'm throwing my support behind Rick Perry for president in 2016. Just image how much we can accomplish with another Texan in the White House who also happens to be really high.
Speaking of being really high, some of my friends in the Tea Party have offered to ride on down to Texas to aid in the armed defense of our country against the latest influx of central American women and children. Now, a lot of these women and children are escaping the wrath of gangs and thugs in Guatemala. What I suggest is instead of stopping in Texas, a bunch of us ride on down to Guatemala and straighten out those gangs and thugs, Dirty Harry style of course. Now let me ask, how many of you are willing to saddle up and ride on down there with me so we can solve this problem at the source? If ya'll want to get it on, let's get it on! It's time to put up, or shut up! It's not like we haven't torn some shit up in Central America before.
Meanwhile, we can be teaching those young refugees how to make a Guatemolotov Cocktail! Oh yes, it's time to arm the toddlers and send them back so that they can aid in the struggle to take back their country! I mean really! You know as well as I do, if a child finds a gun, they're going to play with it. The only reason they may not be able to shoot very well is because nobody has taken the time to show them how. Just think how much damage an AK47 or an M4 can do in the right toddler's hands. I get chills just thinking about it.
In case you were wondering, to make a Guatemolotov cocktail, start with some Guaro Tranquilo, throw in a little gasoline, and top it off with a wedge of lime. It's got a bold taste with a kick like a mule that smells like...victory!
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R. Crosby Lyles owns exclusive rights to the name, image, likeness, voice, and character of Major Killing. All rights are reserved.
Major killing is also on face book.
murder rate
http://www.deathpenaltyinfo.org/...
Number of innocent sentenced to death.
http://www.forbes.com/...
Forbes sources:
https://www.law.umich.edu/...
National academy of sciences link:
http://www.pnas.org/...
Countries of origin recent influx.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/...
Guatemala, El Salvador, and Honduras