We believe—wait, I thought, fast food joints? Eh, don't you guys think that ... they're like of the devil, or something? That's what ... liberals ... you wanna send those evil employees who dare work at a fast food joint that you just don't believe in, thought you wanted to, I don't know, send them to purgatory, or something ... so they all go vegan ... and uh ... wages and picket lines, I don't know, they're not often discussed in purgatory, are they?Is this, like, the outtakes of something? Or is all of Sarah Palin's new "channel" like this? Wayne's World had better production values. You can hear more coherent political commentary on 3 AM cable access shows, things like The World According to Mah Shoe That Tells Prophecies or Bob's Drinking Buddy's Grandpa is Making Sense. This is what Fox News would look like if all the anchors were coming down from an all-weekend bender and Stephen Colbert had stolen all their coffee machines. This is a behind-the-scenes look at the Disney imagineers first attempt to come up with a Sarah Palin robot for the Hall of Thank God They're Not Presidents and after the test they all just sit staring silently at it wondering how to patch this mess up enough to make sure it at least won't blow out the hydraulics and send an arm flying into the audience one day.
I don't know, why're you even worried about ... fast food wages, because ...
Well, we believe ... an America where minimum wage jobs, they're not lifetime gigs! They're stepping stones!
And what's with the crazy eye shifts? Is she keeping a wary eye on an off-camera swarm of bees? "Just ignore the bees, Sarah, we've tried everything and can't get rid of them. You're on in 5, 4, 3..."
That all this is being framed as an apparent rebuttal to an Elizabeth Warren speech makes it all the more zen.