We can't plan for every negative situation but we can always carry a cyanide pill tucked in a false tooth.
Life is full of a lot of awful shit, then you die. But there's, like, cookies, ice cream and occasionally oral sex along the way. So.
Three types of people in the world: those who make it happen, those who wonder what happened & the people who masturbate as they watch it happen.
Part of being an responsible adult is pretending you're not drunk while you're drunk at work. Another part is stealing pie off windowsills.
Don't cry because it's over, smile at all the grudge-fucking you're about to do.
PUT THE BOOZE IN YOUR WORD-HOLE