Disclaimer: I'm not a good writer. I became disabled due to a stroke-like event 12 years ago. Despite my best efforts and use of spell-checkers, I skip words, mess up verb tenses and sometimes combine words in weird ways.
Don't call me "special" or "courageous" or any other BS. What I am is qualified to talk about is the social injustices that disabled people face. I am disabled, plus I am a parent to a disabled daughter who is now 22. I have a younger brother with severe cognitive challenges. I want to talk about some recent news stories involving disabled girls and women that are truly, truly horrible. Judging from the lack of diaries I've seen in this subject area, I don't think anyone else is going to write about this. These women's stories deserve some attention, so I'm going to post the links to their stories and then I'm going to share a little personal history about why those stories resonate so deeply with me.
The first story is the rape of a 14 year old special needs student at Sparkman Middle School in Huntsville, Alabama where she was coerced into being used as rapebait by school officials.
The next story is about an 8 year old girl who was tazed by 4 police officers while holding a paring knife.
Another story is about a 18 year old young woman who was gunned down by police while holding a butter knife.
The final story is about a woman shot and killed by police while holding a hammer.
I could attempt to throw some statistics at you about the large number of disabled people who are sexually assaulted, but the truth is no one really knows for sure. Some claim it's around 60% or more. It doesn't get tracked. Sex and disabled is something no one wants to talk about. Many times, disabled people, particularly those with cognitive or mental health issues are considered incompetent by prosecutors, and attackers usually get away with their crimes. We rarely educate disabled people, particularly those with cognitive disabilities, about sexuality or even basic information like body boundaries. Sex education is a taboo subject in special ed classrooms. What they do teach is compliance, lots of it. Predators know this very well. They target disabled people.
The 16 year old boy who attacked that girl had been hanging around the special needs bathrooms for a long time. The guy who raped my non-verbal brother had a history of working at group homes. The 16 year old got 5 days suspension and was eventually transferred to another school. The guy at the group home, despite the best efforts of my parents to pursue charges, only lost his job. There was nothing to prevent him from getting hired on at another place. My brother never recovered. There isn't much that can be done for someone like my brother when they get traumatized like that. Therapy isn't an option when the client can't talk. So my brother lost what little language he had. He became afraid and violent. He used to be so happy. He used to have a smile that would light up the room. He used to look at clouds and see shapes in them. I don't know what he sees anymore.
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People generally assume that if a person is violent, it must be because they were abused. That isn't always the case. With some types of brain disorders, they can be born that way. At 3 weeks of age, my daughter's screaming frightened my friends, who were experienced mothers. I had the kind of child that no one wanted to be around. She rarely slept and she was sensitive to nearly everything - lights, sounds, certain textures... She got kicked out of daycares on a regular basis. Today, doctors would know right away she was autistic, but back then, they either gave me a lot of useless advice or just turned me away.
It took years and much persistence to get a correct diagnosis. Over the years I've been injured more times than I can remember. Sometimes I tackled her to keep her from blindly running into the street during one of her episodes. I've been attacked with all kinds of objects. I've been pushed down stairs. I've been bitten so hard I had blood dripping down my arm. I've had to lock up knives and sharp objects. Sometimes I would lock myself in the bathroom. I connected with parents who had been down that road and they cautioned me to never, ever call the police. Even on the day she hallucinated and jumped out her second story bedroom window, I didn't call the police.
It's just as true then as it is true now. You can't trust the police to keep mentally ill loved ones safe. There was supposed to be first responder training. That seems to be falling by the wayside. I'd rather get injured that risk them harming her. What can I say? The lives of disabled people don't seem to matter.
She is better now. When she was 19, I found a neurologist who listened, did some tests and put her on seizure meds. She is able to attend some college classes. We've been able to avoid police involvement, I'm sure white privilege has helped us there. My heart breaks for disabled people of color who don't seem to catch many breaks.
Updated to add a petition that my friend started.