GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or even just thinking of quitting, please join us! We kindly ask that politics be left outside.
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This week marks one of my very favorite annual celebrations: Banned Books Week! ("Celebrating the Freedom to Read.") It's the best.
Why do I love Banned Books Week so? Well, it combines two of my favorite things: reading, and subtly defying authority. Yes, within this law-abiding, upstanding, otherwise unremarkable middle-aged shell dwells the soul of a (relatively well mannered) rebel.
It's been that way pretty much since I learned how to talk, and almost immediately started asking "...but WHY?" (or, more accurately, "...why NOT? Why CAN'T I do that?").
Because as everyone knows, nothing is more tempting than forbidden fruit...the disallowed, the secret, the bad-for-you---even dangerous---things we are denied. If we can't have something, or do something, it makes us want it all the more.
When you're a little kid, this usually translates into a lot of questions (many of them unanswerable), the occasional tantrum at the supermarket checkout, and a pretty predictable process of testing boundaries that try our caretakers' patience, but help us figure out the limits of acceptable behavior.
Later on, it typically manifests as adolescent rebellion---often featuring a particularly rocky phase during which defiant opposition to authority is our usual M.O.---and for many of us, a lingering period of lower-key rebelliousness, during which we try out different identities, figure out who we are, make some unfortunate decisions both personal and professional, ingest a few too many substances, and in general work out how we're going to live our adult lives. Sometimes it takes a while. It's not always pretty.
And once the dust has settled, not all of us emerge unscathed.
For many of us, particularly addictive personalities, we enter this next phase of life with a bit of baggage in the form of substance misuse. We usually develop these behaviors and dependencies when we're not quite old enough to make reasoned decisions...and it's the grown-up versions of us who pay the price.
One thing we have to contend with is the fact that for many of us, addictive behaviors rooted in adolescence has the effect of "freezing" us---behaviorally speaking, anyway---in the reactive, defiant adolescent phase we were in when they first emerged. In practical terms, this means than many of us never develop grown-up coping skills when it comes to managing stressful situations.
Instead, we end up with one coping skill: smoking. When we're denied it, well...that's not always pretty, either. We often react in ways befitting the rebellious-adolescent-with-sucky-coping-skills within, instead of the reasonable grown-up we appear to be.
We know what we should do, and yet we double down on the undesirable behavior.
We make excuses.
We dig in our heels.
We get mad (at everyone, including ourselves).
Because we just don't want anyone telling us what to do, even if we know that thing is really bad for us, and even if the person telling us we can't do it is US.
It is possible to overcome this knee-jerk, deeply ingrained reaction, of course. We can make conscious decisions to change our behaviors, and make choices that support (instead of undermine) those efforts. And we can channel our rebellious impulses into other, less damaging things.
Like reading a nice, juicy banned book, for example.
Who's Your Little Buddy?
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Have you had some experience with the effects of smoking, and want to write a GUS diary or host an open thread? Please sign up in the Butt Can (Tip Jar), and name the day and time that works for you. The weekly GUS Diary Schedule is below, with regular hosts in bold. There's an open slot just calling your name!
Wed PM: Vacationland (You Are Here)
Thu AM: anodnhajo
Thu PM: Open
Fri AM: Open (flumptytail is away)
Fri PM: Open
Sat AM: Open
Sat PM: Open
Sun AM: gchaucer2
Sun PM: Open
Mon AM: aoeu
Mon PM: Open
Tue AM: gchaucer2
Tue PM: Open
Wed AM: Homers24
If you can spare a few hours, please consider hosting GUS. It doesn't have to be a permanent slot; it can be a one-time deal or just an open thread! Not sure where to start? Just ask for help in the Butt Can (Tip Jar). Seriously, it doesn't have to include specific elements or require all sorts of fabulous diary formatting skills. The regulars will make sure stuff gets carried over from diary to diary, so if you want to just tell your story or provide an open thread and host for a few hours, that's cool too. You do not need to be perfect, you do not need to become a regular, and you would make some quitters very happy.