Most of my long-term financial planning involves me being frozen in carbonite and taken away by Boba Fett.
Life hack: By selling illegal narcotics you can get ahead of your peers in the race to financial stability. Important: Do not go to jail.
Between 2000 and 2011 the stock market crashed 5 times, wiping out people's retirement funds and enriching Goldman Sachs.
Remember: It's not the destination, it's the money.
Fight the power of The Man right now by taking a nice, comfy, patriarchy-free nap.
The government doesn't want you to know that waking up is stupid. It's their biggest secret. area 51 is just a bunch of beds and happy people.
Breaking Sports News: Elevator surveillance camera shows professional boxer tossing a football with his wife!
It is perfectly ok to avoid swearing. Avoiding contractions is unusual, but not bad. Those who do both will wear your skin as a mankini.
Great minds don't think alike. Dumb minds think alike and it takes a great mind to say hey you fucking idiots are wrong.