What if corporations really were people, as the Supreme Court said in the Citizens United case?
According to the Supreme Court's ruling in the Citizen's United case, corporations are people, with the same rights as people to contribute to political campaigns.
Well of course corporations are people. Some of my best friends are corporations.
I was having lunch with my old buddy Microsoft the other day and he updated me on what our other friends have been up to.
Exxon and Mobile are getting married! They've been together so long, I was beginning to think they were never going to tie the knot. I'll have to find out where they're registered. I'm not going to spend too much on their wedding gift, because I'm already paying them subsidies.
I also have to get a gift for Chrysler's daughter. She is getting bat mitzvahed. My how time flies.
Speaking of time flying, Proctor and Gamble's son in graduating! It seems like only yesterday he was in Pampers
There is some sad news though. United Airlines has been sick. The good news is that my old buddy Hallmark can get me a discount on a get well card.
There is good news for Colonel Electric. She's been promoted! She's now General Electric!
More exciting news! Boeing is having a baby! She doesn't know the sex, she wants to be surprised. Either way it will be a bouncing baby Boeing!
I have to go now. I'm having lunch with Wendy's. I'm so excited! It will be my first date with a multimillion dollar corporation!