GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or even just thinking of quitting, please join us! We kindly ask that politics be left outside.
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A message to ALL quitters (and would-be quitters): You don't have to avoid GUS if you have a failed quit. We won't give you a bad time or nag you. We consider the failed quits as "practice" for the real quit.
I'm sure we've all heard the phrase "fake it 'til you make it" before, right?
It's a sort of shorthand way to describe a fairly simple approach to making a change: go through the motions of what you want to achieve (even if you aren't quite there yet) and you'll eventually get there. Imitate confidence in reaching your goal---even if you are not 100% self-confident yet---and you will eventually be confident enough to achieve those goals. Go through the motions of the thing you need to be doing (even if it feels a little forced or false, or isn't consistent yet), and eventually it shifts into authentic change.
When applied to behavioral change associated with addiction or depression, this approach can form the core of a positive feedback loop: the more you go through the motions of NOT being depressed (forcing yourself into activities or behavioral choices you know will benefit you in positive ways), the more likely you are to manifest a genuine shift in mood or behavior.
The more you go through the motions of NOT being addicted (by deliberately delaying or avoiding things associated with your addictive process, like delaying a smoke or consciously replacing the behavior you want to change with something else), the more likely you are to come to terms with the behavioral change in the long-term. The idea is that the action itself creates---and then reinforces---results.
It's fake, until it's not.
A book on 12-Step culture describes it as "a suggestion often made to newcomers who feel they can't get the program and will go back to old behavior. The suggestion implies that if the newcomer acts according to the steps and teachings of the program, then the program will begin to work and the anxiety will fall away." Although I'm not always on board with the 12-Step approach to recovery and associated teachings (works well for some, not at all for others, and it's overall efficacy is questionable, statistically speaking), I am intrigued by the possibilities of this approach to behavioral change.
Because really, that kind of belief is behind all kinds of efforts, from psyching yourself up to try something you may not be very good at (especially in front of others), to attempting to master just about any complex task or skill. We all do it as we get up to speed on new concepts in school or as we learn the ins and outs of a new job. We try to demonstrate a certain degree of confidence even if we've got a gut full of butterflies and a head full of confusing information.
If you're wrestling with self-doubt or aren't sure about what steps to take to jump-start a change, it might be worth your while to consider this approach. A whole lot of people have done the fake-it-'til-you-make-it thing and ended up with some pretty impressive results, after all. It's a relatively low-stress, low-impact way to start making some baby steps in the right direction.
And speaking of fake...all of these pictures look like miniatures, but only the first one is actually a model. All the rest of these are shots of real scenery using a tilt-shift technique, which makes them LOOK fake. Even if you're not a wizard at photography, you can still try it for yourself. Pretty neat, eh? :-)
The Buddy List
1BQ, 2thanks, 3rdGenFeminist, 417els, A Man Called Gloom, Abra Crabcakeya, Actbriniel, addisnana, AfroPonix, aishmael, Alise, Alpha99, also mom of 5, ambeeeant, American in Kathmandu, amk for obama, andsarahtoo, angry marmot, Anne933, anodnhajo, aoeu, AoT, aquarius2001, arcadesproject, Archie2227, arodb, Arthur Wolf (in memoriam), assyrian64, Aunt Acid, awkawk, b4uknowit, BadKitties, bamablue, BARAKABETH, barnowl, b barrie, bdizz, beatpanda, beefydaddy18, betterdemsonly, BFSkinner, bgblcklab1, BigAlinWashSt, Bike Crash, BirderWitch, BJKay, bleeding heart, blingbling65, blue husky, Blue Intrigue, bluedust, BluejayRN, BlueJessamine, BlueMississippi, Bluerall, bluestatedem84, BoiseBlue, Boston Beans, boudi08, Brahman Colorado, breedlovinit, BrenP, BrianParker14, Bronxist, broths, BrowniesAreGood, bsmechanic, Buckeye Nut Schell, buddabelly, Bugsydarlin, bumbi, BusyinCA, cactusgal, cagernant, Carol in San Antonio, CathiefromCanada, CathodeRay, CDH in Brooklyn, Cedwyn, cee4, Cen Den, 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Have you had some experience with the effects of smoking, and want to write a GUS diary or host an open thread? Please sign up in the Butt Can (Tip Jar), and name the day and time that works for you. The weekly GUS Diary Schedule is below, with regular hosts in bold. There's an open slot just calling your name!
Tue PM: Vacationland (You are Here)
Wed AM: Homers24
Wed PM: Open (Vacationland jumped the gun)
Thu AM: anodnhajo
Thu PM: Open
Fri AM: flumptytail
Fri PM: Open
Sat AM: Open
Sat PM: Open
Sun AM: gchaucer2
Sun PM: Open
Mon AM: aoeu
Mon PM: Open
Tue AM: gchaucer2
If you can spare a few hours, please consider hosting GUS. It doesn't have to be a permanent slot; it can be a one-time deal or just an open thread! We have had a lot of holes in the schedule lately and could really use your help. Not sure where to start? Just ask for help in the Butt Can (Tip Jar). Seriously, it doesn't have to include specific elements or require all sorts of fabulous diary formatting skills. The regulars will make sure stuff gets carried over from diary to diary, so if you want to just tell your story or provide an open thread and host for a few hours, that's cool too. You do not need to be perfect, you do not need to become a regular, and you would make some quitters very happy.